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Old 07-24-2019, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
5,758 posts, read 4,385,058 times
Reputation: 4758

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Here is what i would do.. might be a tad outdated.

Make sure she sees you looking at her. You don't want to be so close as to make it easy for her to ask if you need anything.. make it a distance like an isle away.. maybe do that a couple times.. nothing stalkish, just catch her eye... and when she notices you, just smile... If she sees you looking at her and then she comes to you, she might be interested.. if she doesn't.. chances are she is not.. if she does come up to you, that's not a guarantee she is interested in you, she just might be a hard energetic worker wanting to help so don't assume anything... ask some work related questions, if she hangs around long enough then you can ask some non related work questions.. like how long has she worked at Lowes and does she like working there.. just real small talk.. then i would thank her for her help.. let her know your name, she should immediately tell you her name and then you leave... go back in a few days/week and you already have her name and run into her and say HI 'so and so'. If she remembers you and stops to talk and asks how your doing and if you need any help.. that's a good sign.

I would do this a few more times before asking her out.. i might even pry a little in conversion about husbands/boyfriends, before asking her out.. the point is, the more times you see her and talk to her, the more comfortable and confident you will become... it will make asking her out much easier.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,301 posts, read 8,673,940 times
Reputation: 20334
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthisle View Post
Are you actually saying he should go up to a person he has never talked to and ask her out to coffee? What do you think will be the outcome of that?
Was just thinking that myself.

I had that scenario years ago, where a guy approached me at the grocery store and asked me out to coffee. Even more, he appeared at my side and I hadn't even laid eyes on him when he asked.

I'm not really sure why anyone thinks this is an effective strategy. Asking someone out before you've even established a connection and determined that they're available and interested in a date seems like a waste of time. It also signals that you're not very discriminating, willing to ask out anyone at all, simply based on liking their outer appearance.
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Old 07-24-2019, 04:04 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,970 posts, read 7,715,271 times
Reputation: 7923
I did exactly this.
Popped in for a pack of cigarettes and got talking to the girl behind the counter.
Popped in the next night as well, bit of flirting and a number exchange led to a first date.

Turned out she was 16 years younger than me, but we managed 4 years together, 3 of them great, but the last went downhill since she wanted kids and I didn't, that eventually broke us up.

Never say never, worst she cam do is tell you to go away-

Quote:
Originally Posted by earthisle View Post
Are you actually saying he should go up to a person he has never talked to and ask her out to coffee? What do you think will be the outcome of that?
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Old 07-24-2019, 04:15 PM
 
Location: North East
147 posts, read 53,365 times
Reputation: 443
Listen OP, you have nothing to lose. The odds are against you. Do you see her anywhere else in your area? If not, GO FoR IT! If so, try to catch up with her outside of Lowes. American men (me included) have been conditioned to not approach women. In Europe the men are very forward. My friends and I had a saying, getting numbers is a lot like fishing. You make a hundred casts, and you will get a bite. You ask a hundred girls for their number, you WILL get one. Look good, be cool, and go for it, nothing to lose.
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Old 07-24-2019, 04:20 PM
 
237 posts, read 63,727 times
Reputation: 476
Quote:
Originally Posted by homestead123 View Post
Listen OP, you have nothing to lose. The odds are against you. Do you see her anywhere else in your area? If not, GO FoR IT! If so, try to catch up with her outside of Lowes. American men (me included) have been conditioned to not approach women. In Europe the men are very forward. My friends and I had a saying, getting numbers is a lot like fishing. You make a hundred casts, and you will get a bite. You ask a hundred girls for their number, you WILL get one. Look good, be cool, and go for it, nothing to lose.
Lol, sounds like "spray and pray" to me
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Old 07-24-2019, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,301 posts, read 8,673,940 times
Reputation: 20334
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Lol, sounds like "spray and pray" to me
Exactly.

This is a lousy approach. It's not like you're actually asking 100 available women and getting turned down repeatedly, it's that you don't know them and they don't know you and that's a recipe for failure.

No connection has been established and no determination made if they are already in relationships/married, if they date men, if they speak your language, if they're grieving a recent loss or breakup, moving out of the country shortly, etc. These are all things you should want to know about a woman, especially including reciprocal interest, before throwing your number at her and thinking you've made any sort of effort to "get a date".
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Old 07-24-2019, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Moving?!
288 posts, read 87,747 times
Reputation: 415
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Why would they be low? And besides, there's nothing to lose; The more hooks in the sea, the more likelihood to catch a fish.
Umm.. because OP is a total stranger, and probably not the first to notice this girl. Agree that there's nothing to lose, as long as he can cast his line without being creepy or intrusive, but it's a long shot no matter what.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Exactly.

This is a lousy approach. It's not like you're actually asking 100 available women and getting turned down repeatedly, it's that you don't know them and they don't know you and that's a recipe for failure.

No connection has been established and no determination made if they are already in relationships/married, if they date men, if they speak your language, if they're grieving a recent loss or breakup, moving out of the country shortly, etc. These are all things you should want to know about a woman, especially including reciprocal interest, before throwing your number at her and thinking you've made any sort of effort to "get a date".
Agreed. I'm going to generalize a little bit and say that a guy who has the confidence to ask out a stranger in a Lowe's and the looks / people skills to have her say yes probably wouldn't post this question here. That's not a slam on the OP at all; I never had any luck myself when my approach to dating was smiling at pretty cashiers. IMO in the digital age there are much better (or at least, higher probability) ways.
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Old 07-24-2019, 07:38 PM
 
278 posts, read 55,001 times
Reputation: 457
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthisle View Post
Are you actually saying he should go up to a person he has never talked to and ask her out to coffee? What do you think will be the outcome of that?

Most likely she will decline, then he will know. But possibly she will accept if she thinks he is attractive and if she is looking for a future interest. What do you think the outcome will be if he never ask at all? What do you think the worst that could happen if he ask is?


I agree it is low percentage for making a date, but she isn't going to slap him, scream or call the cops. Most likely she is already with someone and she will just politely tell him so. But to never ask is to guarantee failure.
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Old 07-24-2019, 08:11 PM
 
14,280 posts, read 10,596,420 times
Reputation: 17742
Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65 View Post
Here is what i would do.. might be a tad outdated.

Make sure she sees you looking at her. You don't want to be so close as to make it easy for her to ask if you need anything.. make it a distance like an isle away.. maybe do that a couple times.. nothing stalkish, just catch her eye... and when she notices you, just smile...
Plan your aisles and look at her. In what way is that NOT stalkerish? Stalking is exactly what this sounds like.

Quote:
If she sees you looking at her and then she comes to you, she might be interested.. if she doesn't.. chances are she is not.. if she does come up to you, that's not a guarantee she is interested in you, she just might be a hard energetic worker wanting to help so don't assume anything... ask some work related questions, if she hangs around long enough then you can ask some non related work questions.. like how long has she worked at Lowes and does she like working there.. just real small talk.. then i would thank her for her help.. let her know your name, she should immediately tell you her name and then you leave... go back in a few days/week and you already have her name and run into her and say HI 'so and so'. If she remembers you and stops to talk and asks how your doing and if you need any help.. that's a good sign.

I would do this a few more times before asking her out.. i might even pry a little in conversion about husbands/boyfriends, before asking her out.. the point is, the more times you see her and talk to her, the more comfortable and confident you will become... it will make asking her out much easier.
And because if she already has an owner, you can't go there. And people wonder why women make up boyfriends and husbands to make dudes go away.

Seriously, you want to ask her out for no other reason that she is cute? Don't. Leave her the f alone at work.
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Old 07-24-2019, 08:15 PM
 
1,211 posts, read 452,926 times
Reputation: 2699
It worked for the Taxi Driver

Travis Visits Betsy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKE_B4jMF5Q
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