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Old 07-25-2019, 01:04 PM
 
12,713 posts, read 10,034,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888 View Post
humans are vain and superficial.
Not all of them.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:06 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,729 posts, read 4,949,219 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65 View Post
Wanting to go out with someone because they are cute is creepy? I don't get that. What reasoning would NOT be creepy? The desire to go out with someone has to start some where.. why can't that reason be because they are cute.. ?

That's a really odd statement.
I wouldn't call it creepy, but it isn't the best reason to want to go out on a date with someone. I understand when you first meet someone you don't think you'll see again, it makes you want to create an opportunity. But that is also one of the main reasons why cold approaches fail so much. Most folks aren't going to be comfortable with giving their number to/spending one on one time with someone they barely even know, especially when it's based on something as simple as being cute. To me it says, "You're so pretty, let me stare at your face for a few hours." I see people I think are attractive but it's not enough for me to want to go out with them. What would we talk about? Other than basic stuff? Like I said, I get it. But it's not grounds for anything substantial happening. Not at that stage anyway.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:08 PM
 
12,713 posts, read 10,034,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
I wouldn't call it creepy, but it isn't the best reason to want to go out on a date with someone. I understand when you first meet someone you don't think you'll see again, it makes you want to create an opportunity. But that is also one of the main reasons why cold approaches fail so much. Most folks aren't going to be comfortable spending one on one time with someone they barely even know, especially when it's based on something as simple as being cute. To me it says, "You're so pretty, let me stare at your face for a few hours." I see people I think are attractive but it's not enough for me to want to go out with them. What would we talk about? Other than basic stuff? Like I said, I get it. But it's not grounds for anything substantial happening. Not at that stage anyway.
I mean dating is as personal as it comes. So "not being comfortable" ... I mean why would a woman WANT to?
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:19 PM
 
58 posts, read 13,297 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I am going to go a bit further than this. Wanting to ask someone out that you don't know at all based entirely on the fact that you saw her and found her cute IS creepy.
Wow, at this point I think I will just drop out of this conversation.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:19 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,160 posts, read 71,240,609 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Oy Vay. Really? Knowing them and LIKING WHO THEY ARE. Sense of humor, fun... A little sparky spark.
This. Getting to know the girl through chatting is not only about easing her into a comfort zone with you, potentially. It's also about screening her, to see if she's anyone you'd even want to spend a coffee date with. It works both ways.

There's a woman in my town who's gorgeous in the way that Michelle Phillips of the Mamas & the Papas was naturally gorgeous (ok, I know that's a dated reference. Look her up, those of you who are saying, "WHO?!"): waist-length blond hair, and a pretty face. All kinds of guys ask her on dates; she often has mid-day dates, as well as evening. But, OMG! This woman has a potty mouth, trailer-trash mouth like you wouldn't believe! OY! I have no idea how many first- or second-time dates she's burned through, as guys flee when they hear her talk, or whenever she lets down her guard to show her true colors.

OP, a pretty face is nothing, without some substance behind it. Although it's true, we have had guys posting here, who say they're so lucky they somehow landed a gorgeous gf, but gee, the thing is, she's lazy AF, spends her days doing nothing but hanging around the apartment doing her nails and reading fashion mags, and expects him to do all the housework after he gets home from his job. She's "perfect", but C-D, how can I get her to do her share around the place? Or, C-D, why does she expect me to be her gravy train? I'll never land another woman with her looks, but how do I get her to change this one niggly issue?

Women respond to guys who actually know and appreciate who they are. And guys who are able to show they can keep up their share of the conversation, and have something in common with the women, or at the least, are engaging and have a sense of humor.

OP, listen to "somebodynew". This is wisdom. Common sense, really.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:33 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,160 posts, read 71,240,609 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65 View Post
Wanting to go out with someone because they are cute is creepy? I don't get that. What reasoning would NOT be creepy? The desire to go out with someone has to start some where.. why can't that reason be because they are cute.. ?

That's a really odd statement.
Finding them cute is reason to chat them up a little, not sufficient for asking them to commit an hour, give or take, to meeting with you somewhere one on one. How do you know you'd have anything to talk about with her, anything in common with her at all? I saw a guy try this at the grocery store; just walk up to a woman who appealed to him, and try to talk to her. He was dressed in all-black skateboarding clothes, looked to be around late 30's, maybe even 40. She was dressed like she'd just gotten off work as a lawyer or stockbroker. Clearly, she thought they'd have nothing in common, because she fled the scene. This kind of thing happens a lot. I've seen store staff try this with customers, whom I know to be university faculty or other professionals. Sometimes the women are a generation older than the guy trying to get their attention, but look young for their age, so the guy doesn't even know he's hitting up someone his mother's age.

Expecting a positive response from a complete stranger just because you think they're cute has a very high chance of failure. The same goes for women approaching guys, too.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:36 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,729 posts, read 4,949,219 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I mean dating is as personal as it comes. So "not being comfortable" ... I mean why would a woman WANT to?
That's what I'm saying. What other incentive/reason is there for a person to want to go out on a date with someone? Man or woman.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:45 PM
 
12,713 posts, read 10,034,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This. Getting to know the girl through chatting is not only about easing her into a comfort zone with you, potentially. It's also about screening her, to see if she's anyone you'd even want to spend a coffee date with. It works both ways.
The thing that makes me scratch my head at all the posts about wanting to ask out a complete stranger is what that really winds up looking like for HIM.

- I can promise you that a good looking woman has men eyeballing her all day long.
- Along you come and make gestures around hanging out in aisles that she is gonna be in. Yah, she notices.
- You ask her out. (Ok MAYBE for whatever reason she says yes. But).
- It is incredibly unlikely that she is just going to say yes to going out with some rando. She says no. She may even say no quite rudely after someone basically went out of their way to hang out in Lowes (or was it Home Depot) because she was "cute".
- Man's confidence in dating tanks because ... what? She does not even know him. Yet he still feels "rejected" as if that is somehow a personal attack on HIM despite that she does not know him from Adam any more than he knows her.

Rinse and repeat and handful of times and he comes back with how evil women are who won't "give a guy a chance" right before he dances off the PUA sites to learn about the red pill.
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Old 07-25-2019, 01:47 PM
 
12,713 posts, read 10,034,206 times
Reputation: 16359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
That's what I'm saying. What other incentive/reason is there for a person to want to go out on a date with someone? Man or woman.
Actually knowing them. And liking them. I can't believe that this is a strange concept. I am going out with a guy on Friday that I know well enough to know he makes me laugh. And he is not Jack the Ripper as far as I can tell.
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Old 07-25-2019, 02:05 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,729 posts, read 4,949,219 times
Reputation: 12735
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Actually knowing them. And liking them. I can't believe that this is a strange concept. I am going out with a guy on Friday that I know well enough to know he makes me laugh. And he is not Jack the Ripper as far as I can tell.
I think we're talking passed each other. I was actually agreeing with you on everything besides the creepy part. But in my other post I as explaining to the other poster why "being cute" is not a good reason to ask someone out.
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