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Old 07-26-2019, 12:14 PM
 
9,627 posts, read 13,544,321 times
Reputation: 5805

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
OP is gonna end up with a whole new suite of appliances before this ordeal is done.
oohhh THAT'S what 'applicanes' is !!! lol
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Old 07-26-2019, 12:32 PM
 
12,713 posts, read 10,034,206 times
Reputation: 16359
Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797 View Post
Exactly, which is why people should not rely on them. if you like someone, let them know. I explained this in an earlier post. Women that work in service industry are nice to you because it's their job. guys frequently mistake it as interest.

Interestingly, it was a generality. Obviously the mold doesn't fit everyone.

your last point makes sense. there's a relative minority of guys that seem to hit on any female with a pulse aggressively, which can leave them jaded. Everyone is free to make their own decisions, but in today's day and age, if someone is interested, they should express it. if they choose not to, they shouldn't be upset if the other party doesnt act on it.
Sure. Whatever. Good luck with expressing it to any random "cute" woman. But to the bolded, what your average bro thinks is aggressive and what many women think are aggressive are too radically different thing.

In any event, I expect to be seeing some of the respondents back in a year touting the red pill.
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Old 07-26-2019, 02:02 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,835 posts, read 8,688,140 times
Reputation: 20150
Quote:
Originally Posted by toughfighter83 View Post
i went out today to get a couple of things at lowes and i saw this cute girl that does applicanes and i couldnt talk to her and i wanted to ask for her number because she was talking to a coworker and i let it go because it's embarassing and i went around to look at things and i came back again and she was with a customer so i couldnt bother her and i went home.


so when i come back again and if i see her again, what do i say to her?
Anything, but, "What's your number?"
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Old 07-27-2019, 07:27 AM
 
3 posts, read 819 times
Reputation: 20
Forget it, just forget it. As a general rule, if a woman is more than a 4/10, she has a boyfriend at the least. In the age of MeToo, you're very likely to end up being banned from the store for harassment if you ask her out.


Look for women outside the hardware store. Stop thinking with your "tool".
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Old 07-27-2019, 10:38 AM
 
7,669 posts, read 3,019,569 times
Reputation: 12658
Quote:
Originally Posted by throwaway111 View Post
In the age of MeToo, you're very likely to end up being banned from the store for harassment if you ask her out.
Yes, if “ask her out” is your way of describing an obnoxious lewd act that propels her to complain to management and be fearful of coming to work.

I shouldn’t even point this out, but there’s a certain type of guy who will cite ‘MeToo’ as always something for a guy to consider, when the average socially normal intelligent man does not have to worry about being one of these guys who used his power and position to sexually harass or assault women. It’s a good red flag for those women to get an idea of who they’re talking to, if the phrase: ”I gotta watch out, so I don’t get MeToo’d!” is uttered.

Thanks for the psa.

Last edited by RbccL; 07-27-2019 at 10:55 AM..
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Old 07-27-2019, 10:51 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,160 posts, read 71,240,609 times
Reputation: 77297
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Yes, if “ask her out” is your way of describing an obnoxious lewd act that propels her to complain to management and be fearful of coming to work.

I shouldn’t even point this out, but there’s a certain type of guy who will cite ‘MeToo’ as always something for a guy to consider, when the average socially normal intelligent man does not have to worry about being one of these guys who used his power and position to sexually harass or assault women. It’s a good red flag for those women to get an idea of who they’re talking to, if the phase: ”I gotta watch out, so I don’t get MeToo’d!” is uttered.

Thanks for the psa.
This. Before #MeToo, there was the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas blow-up, which brought the term "sexual harassment" into the mainstream. The shy guys tried to hide behind that, as their excuse for not approaching women, as if demanding sexual favors and making sexual comments in the workplace had anything to do with meeting women socially and asking them out.

In the meantime, the confident guys just kept right on trucking, taking care of business and enjoying their social life. The bitter misogynists tried to browbeat women over the sexual harassment issue, just like some guys are holding "MeToo" over their heads, but meanwhile, life goes on as it always has.
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Old 07-27-2019, 11:42 AM
 
2,178 posts, read 1,719,751 times
Reputation: 2745
I think refusing to acknowledge possibility of someone using the hashtag's power out of pure spite and without basis isn't being honest either. TINY minority of cases? Likely. Zero? Not likely.
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Old 07-27-2019, 12:05 PM
 
15,751 posts, read 13,671,282 times
Reputation: 21673
Oh how nice, just what a woman wants, for some guy to be slobbering over her while she is at work, and forcing her to be nice and accepting your idiocy due to the potential to get fired.

Guys like this are scum.
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Old 07-27-2019, 01:25 PM
 
793 posts, read 204,597 times
Reputation: 1052
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Yes, if “ask her out” is your way of describing an obnoxious lewd act that propels her to complain to management and be fearful of coming to work.

I shouldn’t even point this out, but there’s a certain type of guy who will cite ‘MeToo’ as always something for a guy to consider, when the average socially normal intelligent man does not have to worry about being one of these guys who used his power and position to sexually harass or assault women. It’s a good red flag for those women to get an idea of who they’re talking to, if the phrase: ”I gotta watch out, so I don’t get MeToo’d!” is uttered.

Thanks for the psa.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This. Before #MeToo, there was the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas blow-up, which brought the term "sexual harassment" into the mainstream. The shy guys tried to hide behind that, as their excuse for not approaching women, as if demanding sexual favors and making sexual comments in the workplace had anything to do with meeting women socially and asking them out.

In the meantime, the confident guys just kept right on trucking, taking care of business and enjoying their social life. The bitter misogynists tried to browbeat women over the sexual harassment issue, just like some guys are holding "MeToo" over their heads, but meanwhile, life goes on as it always has.



Quote:
Originally Posted by boxus View Post
Oh how nice, just what a woman wants, for some guy to be slobbering over her while she is at work, and forcing her to be nice and accepting your idiocy due to the potential to get fired.

Guys like this are scum.

Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I am going to go a bit further than this. Wanting to ask someone out that you don't know at all based entirely on the fact that you saw her and found her cute IS creepy. The poster above who mentioned planning a project so that one can show up in her aisle is stalker AF.


So, which is it? Socially normal, intelligent, confident man, or scummy, creepy, stalker-ish man? People in this thread can't even agree



Because here's all I know: the only times a woman WANTS a guy to ask her out is when she LIKES HIM. If she doesn't like him, it's an imposition at best and harassment at worst. Service and retail employees are TRAINED to make customers like them, and to make customers think the employee likes them too. So, I will never put any stock into thoughts that my interest in a woman who works service or retail is reciprocated, and that's even further sharpened by life experiences in which I have been falsely accused of inappropriate conduct at work by someone trying to get me fired. If the creepy part is that she doesn't know him, and why would he be asking her out when she knows nothing about him...well, the opposite is also true. He knows nothing about HER, and whether she might get so offended at being asked out that she reports him.



It's a small chance, sure, but so is going through what I went through, so I'm very careful to make sure that not just is my conduct is beyond reproach anywhere near a workspace, but also that NO ONE can contest that fact ever again. I will not put myself into a situation in which he-said/she-said is possible because only she and I know what happened or what was said. If I think a service or retail worker is attractive, I'll keep that to myself, doubly so because women outside of those sectors don't show interest in me...any anomalous interest I think I might be reading from a service sector employee can be chalked up to her doing the job she was trained to do.
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Old 07-27-2019, 06:03 PM
 
7,669 posts, read 3,019,569 times
Reputation: 12658
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
I think refusing to acknowledge possibility of someone using the hashtag's power out of pure spite and without basis isn't being honest either. TINY minority of cases? Likely. Zero? Not likely.
I think I know you, and you are being intellectually dishonest if you’re saying being accused of sexual harassment and assault is a real fear for you. You have the emotional intelligence to get to know someone a little before you take a chance with even innuendo.

My comment (above that I think you’re reacting to) is for 2 kinds of guys:
The kind who actually force themselves on women and are truly sexual in their exchange, but want to get away with it, so pretend they don’t know any better and it’s the woman’s fault.
OR
The kind who are very inexperienced around women and relationships and have no real idea of how things work. They do not have a variety of experiences of their own to learn from. They are scared, they want to blame women for making them scared.

As far as women go? Sure there are losers! Sure there are liars! But I have actually experienced tons of it in the form of harassment and assault, I never reported anyone, it wasn’t my decade or experience to know and see that reporting it and drawing attention to myself would do anything but make it worse.

So if seeing: “I don’t wanna get Me2’d” triggers me, it’s because any accusations I would have made would have been 100% true, (IME) and I don’t appreciate the side eye about it, the doubt and dismissiveness.

Yes there is a 3rd kind of guy, he’s the one who doesn’t worry about being accused by liars in his everyday dating life. Hopefully that is the majority of men, they just are represented in a minority here at times.

((steps off soapbox, almost trips, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.))

Last edited by RbccL; 07-27-2019 at 06:24 PM..
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