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Old 07-31-2019, 10:52 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
You skipped the part at the end where I said "since the first date...just like I do for her". So its not like you and the others who "try" to pay but end up just being in the receiving end every time men take you out because men don't give you permission to pay so you submissively obey kind of thing. If that's how you like to do it, cool, most women do .

-Men don't let me pay every time they take me out.
-We treat each other since the first date.

See the difference?
This stuff about permission to pay is really silly............

 
Old 07-31-2019, 11:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
This stuff about permission to pay is really silly............

You are right. The whole "when men take me out they don't LET ME pay" does sound silly.
 
Old 07-31-2019, 11:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I think your approach to dating is healthy. There should be some degree of reciprocity but if there isn't, it's OK to let it go.

As a woman, if someone tells me they like me, and I like them too, I'm going to let them know about it and suggest a date. I'm not going to play silly head games either.
Not sure why people would play silly games or test a guy to see how far he would go to ask them out. It's nice of you to be straight about it.
 
Old 07-31-2019, 11:12 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
You are right. The whole "when men take me out they don't LET ME pay" does sound silly.
You sound *silly* saying for either way!!! Men or women...don't you think the natural way to think of it is ...who has more money? If it's kinda even... take turns paying!!
 
Old 07-31-2019, 11:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
You sound *silly* saying for either way!!! Men or women...don't you think the natural way to think of it is ...who has more money? If it's kinda even... take turns paying!!
It's silly to feel entitled and expect someone to pay simply because they have more money. Besides, how can you really know how much they have in their bank account to get to that conclusion? If no man was sitting across the table you would pay for what you ordered as an adult would do so. I have gone out with women who have had more than I did. How did I know? Well, in one occasion, I was a foreign exchange student whos mode of transportation was a bicycle while she was working in a Forbes 100 company with an upper management position. Still, its not like I felt entitled and expected her to take care of my expenses. I made my own money whoever I could and I was totally capable of paying for what I ordered or even treating her. So when we started going out it was never an issue who paid for what or whos turn was it. We simply did it since our first date. This was in Japan. Cultural differences I guess.
 
Old 07-31-2019, 11:53 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
It's silly to feel entitled and expect someone to pay simply because they have more money. Besides, how can you really know how much they have in their bank account to get to that conclusion? If no man was sitting across the table you would pay for what you ordered as an adult would do so. I have gone out with women who have had more than I did. How did I know? Well, in one occasion, I was a foreign exchange student whos mode of transportation was a bicycle while she was working in a Forbes 100 company with an upper management position. Still, its not like I felt entitled and expected her to take care of my expenses. I made my own money whoever I could and I was totally capable of paying for what I ordered or even treating her. So when we started going out it was never an issue who paid for what or whos turn was it. We simply did it since our first date. This was in Japan. Cultural differences I guess.
How is it feeling entitled if someone offers to pay.....you might not know how much money a person makes, but they know! They should be offering.........

It's normal to take turns in lots of situations where it's kinda even...or assumed even....BUT if a guy has been having me pay ...thinking he is in middle management or something....& then a month later I see his 7 million dollar home... I'm gonna be thinking.....what the? That falls under the umbrella of lying about who you are.....to get a $100 dinner paid by your date who is living in an apartment? No way......he'd be on the curb.....
 
Old 07-31-2019, 12:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
How is it feeling entitled if someone offers to pay.....you might not know how much money a person makes, but they know! They should be offering.........
When you asked "who has more money?" I wondered why would that even matter.

Quote:
It's normal to take turns in lots of situations where it's kinda even...or assumed even....BUT if a guy has been having me pay ...thinking he is in middle management or something....& then a month later I see his 7 million dollar home... I'm gonna be thinking.....what the? That falls under the umbrella of lying about who you are.....to get a $100 dinner paid by your date who is living in an apartment? No way......he'd be on the curb.....
To make things less complicated, simply pay for what you ordered. Its not like you cannot afford that $15-$25 plate you ordered from the menu while paying hundreds of dollars for a pair of shoes, cool brand purses, etc. there will be more expensive things you buy yourself to say you are not able to pay for a simple dinner. So yes, taking turns sounds about right. I mean, you like the other person enough to go out with him so why not be nice with the person you like and treat him just like he treats you.
 
Old 07-31-2019, 01:01 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
When you asked "who has more money?" I wondered why would that even matter.



To make things less complicated, simply pay for what you ordered. Its not like you cannot afford that $15-$25 plate you ordered from the menu while paying hundreds of dollars for a pair of shoes, cool brand purses, etc. there will be more expensive things you buy yourself to say you are not able to pay for a simple dinner. So yes, taking turns sounds about right. I mean, you like the other person enough to go out with him so why not be nice with the person you like and treat him just like he treats you.
Whatever works for you or the people you date.....there are men that like to pay & women too....so it's who offers & wants to pay, not who lets anyone pay. If there is this much of a issue with who is going to pay...the date is not going to go well......
 
Old 07-31-2019, 02:27 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
You are right. The whole "when men take me out they don't LET ME pay" does sound silly.
Because some men WANT to pay tho.....

I dunno why you have to put permission on it.....?
 
Old 07-31-2019, 02:59 PM
 
6,380 posts, read 6,142,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Because some men WANT to pay tho.....

I dunno why you have to put permission on it.....?
Hey, just like there are women who like to do house chores and some men try to offer to help but their wives beat them to it or they don't let them so they go back to the couch to watch sports, right? There are many reasons why men pay all the time and maybe there may be some women out there who may pay all the time, rare but they may exist. Reasons can vary from simply being nice to not wanting to risk not seeing a 2nd date as many women feel offended, angry, disappointed, etc. if men don't take care of their expenses.


It comes from the "they don't LET me." There are women who think that just showing up to a date is enough to make their man fall in love with them I guess.
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