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Old 07-25-2019, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
4,623 posts, read 6,690,296 times
Reputation: 11536

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
And how do guys like these do it?
Even Stephen Hawking got married.

I'm average at best and I get dates because I can make women laugh.

The women that I like, enjoy laughing way more than muscles.

Last edited by SVTLightning; 07-25-2019 at 02:46 PM..
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Old 07-25-2019, 02:45 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,772,367 times
Reputation: 20156
Oscar Pistorius was missing two legs and he got a lot of women in his bed, apparently.
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Old 07-25-2019, 02:48 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,772,367 times
Reputation: 20156
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428 View Post
If you are a woman, NO!

If you are a man, YES!

Why?

https://medium.com/the-mission/women...s-9e09cf41d6c9

"He said, Why do women have such a narrow band for dating and then complain there is no one out there?! Men date a wide spectrum of ages, incomes and heights. No date is dinged for being 55 or pursuing a career as a yogini.

Charles was right. As long as a woman is kind, cute and brushes her teeth, she is considered eligible. This gives men a much wider pool of romantic candidates."


Men have no real standards, so a woman with a physical disability generally has no issues finding a relationship.

On the other hand, men with disabilities will have a much harder time finding relationships because women do have very narrow standards.


Source: Me, a 33 year old male with Cerebral Palsy
Even if this were true, the OP is a man, not a woman.
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Old 07-25-2019, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,457 posts, read 54,875,243 times
Reputation: 67055
My father lost both his feet/legs below the knee in WWII. He learned to walk on prosthetic legs. He met my mother afterward. I'm one of seven children.

If my father ever felt sorry for himself, I never saw it. He was a quiet man of good character who was well-respected in the community.

My mother once said she loved him because he was a kind person, not easily angered, and had a sense of humor. Her father was a mean, nasty man who always put her down, and my father was a complete contrast to that. She'd had a sister who was mentally challenged and had cerebral palsy, so a person with a physical disability was not foreign to her.

But it was the man's character, not his missing feet, that made him who he was. Be a man of good character, and search for a woman of good character to match.
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Old 07-25-2019, 11:07 PM
 
7,573 posts, read 2,989,892 times
Reputation: 12543
https://www.teamusa.org/-/media/USA_...1D592EBB61ABFC
Maybe do a little exploring outside of your head. I doubt if any of these people on the Paralympic ski team are wondering if they’ll ever find friends.

One of them was the key note speaker at a charitable luncheon I was lucky enough to attend as a representative for my company. The inspirational speech received a standing ovation, the irony was not lost on us.

You can still do anything anyone else with motivation can.

Last edited by RbccL; 07-25-2019 at 11:24 PM..
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Old 07-25-2019, 11:23 PM
 
7,573 posts, read 2,989,892 times
Reputation: 12543
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Even if this were true, the OP is a man, not a woman.
Women love being told how we should be, and what were doing wrong, from men unsuccessful in dating, dont we?
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Old 07-27-2019, 07:56 AM
 
337 posts, read 188,794 times
Reputation: 469
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
This question kind of goes with both romantic and non-romantic relationships. I am beginning to feel like people realistically judge me off of my physical disability with me leg. I can never keep a girl past the first date, if I am even lucky enough to take her out. I can never keep friends past the first night out, if I am lucky enough that they wanna go out with me. Women want to be with a man who is strong, powerful, and can provide many things for them, and I dont think they see that in me with my leg disability. I also think that any person I try to befriend is uncomfortable around me because of my leg disability. Does anyone here think this is true? If so, lay it on me. Also, if you think this goes more with the non-romantic column, please feel free to move this thread there.

I can sympathize. I have cerebral palsy and have been on alot of first dates but never any second ones. They were all fix-ups. They were reportedly told I was disabled and they said "no problem". Then we went out and when the date was over, I never heard from them again. And then there were the women I asked out on my own. I've met some real sweethearts over the years. I don't want to take up alot of space in this thread with my stories but if you want to hear a few, message me.


Now as far as making friends go I've never had much of a problem with that. It seems my company is welcome as long as I keep things platonic, which, with guys, is not even an issue. But the minute I try to make it more with the ladies, ugh.


Anyway hang in there. Maybe things will change for you.
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Old 07-27-2019, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,652 posts, read 24,248,517 times
Reputation: 49217
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428 View Post
Men have no real standards
That's insulting to men, and not at all true. Everyone should have standards.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:15 AM
KCZ
 
1,697 posts, read 986,901 times
Reputation: 4723
Dear OP,


I am a woman who is disabled due to a back/leg injury and I have similar limitations to yours. My opinion, and I by no means have this all figured out, is that any social or dating life has to revolve around people who participate in activities that you can manage. At the time I was injured, I had a group of very, very good friends with whom I used to do very physically demanding activities every weekend. When I couldn't go anymore, we gradually drifted apart and now I never see them at all. I've gone on a first or second date, and then the guy will ask me to go do activity X, and I have to say Sorry, but I can't manage that. It seems like although he found me personable enough to ask, my response was a wake-up call to him and I never hear from him again.


My suggestion is that you make a list of the types of things you enjoy and can manage doing, then figure out how to meet people with similar interests. Check out clubs and the Meet Up website and just ask around. Hopefully you live in a community that's large enough to afford opportunities to meet people. Think of some activities you can suggest that a potential date might enjoy. Can you cook? LOL.



You are right that a lot of people are uncomfortable being around someone who is disabled, especially when they first meet. I find it's best to just be direct and tell them you have a leg injury and sometimes have trouble doing certain things. Then they will usually start trying to help you, which can be really annoying for both of you. So that's when I say "Thanks, but if you will quit asking if I need help, I promise I will ask for help when I really need it. It's important for me to do things myself when I can." Then both of you can quit focusing on it and talk about other stuff. I try not to talk about my problem except when asked by family and close friends. Nobody wants to get depressed hearing about my problems all the time, nor do I want to talk about them either. You have to remain upbeat or at least focused on other things, or no one will want to be around you.



HTH, and good luck.
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Old 07-27-2019, 09:36 AM
 
Location: NW Nevada
14,296 posts, read 11,694,455 times
Reputation: 13421
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
This question kind of goes with both romantic and non-romantic relationships. I am beginning to feel like people realistically judge me off of my physical disability with me leg. I can never keep a girl past the first date, if I am even lucky enough to take her out. I can never keep friends past the first night out, if I am lucky enough that they wanna go out with me. Women want to be with a man who is strong, powerful, and can provide many things for them, and I dont think they see that in me with my leg disability. I also think that any person I try to befriend is uncomfortable around me because of my leg disability. Does anyone here think this is true? If so, lay it on me. Also, if you think this goes more with the non-romantic column, please feel free to move this thread there.

I was inured badly in a motorcycle vs car crash when I was 18. My lower right leg is twisted, scarred and has no functional ankle. It's a gnarly mess. But I never had an issue with relationships. I adapted to the disability and just kept on trucking.


No woman I ever dated or had a relationship with was plumb turned off by it. Maybe they would have been had I not adapted to the injury and used it as some sort of pity ploy. Not saying that's what you are doing but being ...overly conscious..of it can be a turnoff for women. It's fine to be up front about it but don't seem as if it's the total focus.


I believe that women do like and admire a fighter who can and does beat such an adversary. That shows strength and character far beyond just being able to hold your own in a scrap with some other guy. Trust me, your disability won't matter a whit if you don't let it dictate your life.
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