U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-27-2019, 10:39 AM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,772,367 times
Reputation: 20156

Advertisements

I did go on one date with a man who had some problem with his leg. I met him inside a restaurant bar and during the conversation he mentioned his leg injury. So I asked him what happened, and he got offended that I asked. But he had brought this up to begin with so I didn't think my question was wrong. If he hadn't brought it up, I would never have asked. I wanted to go out with him a second time but he didn't call again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-27-2019, 10:43 AM
 
12,159 posts, read 6,739,233 times
Reputation: 13032
If you have a disability, you have to make up for it in some other way. IOW, you generally can't be disabled and a jerk or even average Joe, you must develop a great personality. Sometimes disabled people can be bitter and it comes across, or they will test people.

Probably look for a different kind of woman, not basic, but you can't be basic either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 02:33 PM
 
3,115 posts, read 1,583,816 times
Reputation: 3241
No, I think an inability to form plans and future goals, whether short term or long term, is what can prevent a relationship from forming.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 02:46 PM
 
Location: California
910 posts, read 248,117 times
Reputation: 2567
There are people out there with intense disabilities that are completely limiting who have love. Look up Shane and Hannah (Squirmy and Grubs on Youtube). I believe they just got engaged. He has a pretty severe muscular wasting disease and is like half her size and requires her complete care. She's really good looking, too. It's not like she wouldn't have plenty of other options. Here is their channel if you want to see them:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdo...mfDl4KQ/videos

Don't let limitations hold you back.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 04:02 PM
 
3,873 posts, read 1,411,271 times
Reputation: 1673
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
That's insulting to men, and not at all true. Everyone should have standards.
That does seem to be true unfortunately when it comes to men. It appears you dont have to look like much or have much going on for a man to be interested in a woman. I'm a man and refuse to just date any woman just because she has interest in me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 05:41 PM
 
1,743 posts, read 1,264,754 times
Reputation: 1533
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt View Post
That does seem to be true unfortunately when it comes to men. It appears you dont have to look like much or have much going on for a man to be interested in a woman. I'm a man and refuse to just date any woman just because she has interest in me.

It's not like men have NO STANDARDS.
But unlike women, we don't have standards in relation to height, salary, financial stability, hair, disability, etc. Men are usually much more open to dating women as long as they have a good connection.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 06:51 PM
 
983 posts, read 275,762 times
Reputation: 2733
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
So what do you think that could be? I want to hear it. That’s why I posted this question.
We don't know you, so we have no clue. But like this poster, I find it hard to believe that every single person you meet is so shallow that your disability turns them off after one time hanging out. if they were that shallow, they wouldn't bother at all, right?


Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
Women want to be with a man who is strong, powerful, and can provide many things for them,
Painting all women with the same brush based on some sort of weird assumption or stereotype might be part of your problem.


Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
And how do guys like these do it?
Frankly? By being the kind of person other people want to be around. What do you bring to the table?

(And, frankly, in what ways will you compensate a partner if you're unable to help around the house? What will you do instead? Because that's the biggest turnoff I see in your situation; the rest may not be important to someone.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428 View Post
If you are a woman, NO!

If you are a man, YES!

Why?

https://medium.com/the-mission/women...s-9e09cf41d6c9

"He said, “Why do women have such a narrow band for dating and then complain there is no one out there?! Men date a wide spectrum of ages, incomes and heights. No date is dinged for being 5’5” or pursuing a career as a yogini.”

Charles was right. As long as a woman is kind, cute and brushes her teeth, she is considered eligible. This gives men a much wider pool of romantic candidates."


Men have no real standards, so a woman with a physical disability generally has no issues finding a relationship.

On the other hand, men with disabilities will have a much harder time finding relationships because women do have very narrow standards.


Source: Me, a 33 year old male with Cerebral Palsy
Funny, that's not been my experience. He's 5'5"? Who cares? He's a yogini? As long as he doesn't proselytize, and can pay his bills and doesn't expect me to support him, we're golden. His age is somewhere in the range of mine where we'd actually have things in common? Great.

Source: Me, a woman who knows many other women and none of the ones I call friends have these "narrow standards" you speak of. (Men don't have standards relating to a woman's looks?!?!?! OMG. You're all invited to my funeral; I'm about to die laughing.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 11:21 PM
 
3,873 posts, read 1,411,271 times
Reputation: 1673
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428 View Post
It's not like men have NO STANDARDS.
But unlike women, we don't have standards in relation to height, salary, financial stability, hair, disability, etc. Men are usually much more open to dating women as long as they have a good connection.
From what I seen in 2019 on jobs and while out in public, there are lots of men who have no standards.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2019, 11:26 PM
 
742 posts, read 194,590 times
Reputation: 980
I once danced with a woman who had one leg. I would have asked her out if I'd thought she was interested.


So, no. It's more about how you carry yourself and what your personality is than your outward appearance, I think.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 09:58 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,818 posts, read 28,954,113 times
Reputation: 44216
Bum leg, false leg, whatever, no problem. But a guy who feels sorry for himself or spends a lot of time whining is not good company. I just don't want to listen to it.


You see the guys in wheelchairs playing basketball? I'd date one of those guys real quick. That a leg disability that is worse than yours and it is not slowing them down. They get on with their lives.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top