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Old 07-28-2019, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,545 posts, read 8,201,791 times
Reputation: 5271

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
Let me try to provide further information without giving too much away, and then ask a branch question off of this. I have a titanium rod femur and artificial knee, which is very sensitive to impact. I am unable to perform tasks most guys my age can do like play sports, lift heavy objects, go through highly intense workouts, and do yard/house work. I also have to be careful about going out and walking too far. I even have other lasting health effects from treatment Iíve been on such as a weaker heart and reduced hearing. I am a young adult that has to worry about things most people donít have to worry about until theyíre senior citizens. People for whatever reason seem to be turned off by this. How can I find a romantic relationship or friendships with all of these health limits?
How's your personality? If you're any of the following at all, people are going to be turned off even more since you've already got your disabled leg against you:

- always wanting people to pity you
- acting bitter to the world
- acting like the world owes you something
- unfriendly, not warm
- doesn't smile much
- acting helpless like you can't do a thing
- always telling a sob story of your latest hassles, frustrations, etc. that you encountered
- just mostly or always negative about life

Because of your disability, you'll have to be EVEN MORE of the opposite of what I listed above. In this society highly unnecessary emphasis on physical attractiveness where there are LOTS MORE of narcissistic, entitled, smug, unkind, imposing people than I've ever seen before, you really have to go a little more above & beyond (the opposite of the above list), so people can see past what they physically see. Try it & see how people react to you.

I wouldn't think buddies would care as much as the opposite sex because the opposite sex want a man who can take care of them, not afraid to get their hands dirty plus that they're attracted to, etc. Other male buddies are just pals to hang out w/.
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Old 07-28-2019, 03:13 PM
 
838 posts, read 202,729 times
Reputation: 608
in my experience, it can be about issues that aren't obvious until they admit it (usually after you decide not to date them anymore because of ridicule/jokes about yr disability):


"You're really very pretty; it just took me time to get used to it".


"I was afraid if i complimented you, you would feel good about yrself and leave me for someone else".
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Old 07-29-2019, 01:31 PM
 
1,684 posts, read 3,617,895 times
Reputation: 1298
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
This question kind of goes with both romantic and non-romantic relationships. I am beginning to feel like people realistically judge me off of my physical disability with me leg. I can never keep a girl past the first date, if I am even lucky enough to take her out. I can never keep friends past the first night out, if I am lucky enough that they wanna go out with me. Women want to be with a man who is strong, powerful, and can provide many things for them, and I donít think they see that in me with my leg disability. I also think that any person I try to befriend is uncomfortable around me because of my leg disability. Does anyone here think this is true? If so, lay it on me. Also, if you think this goes more with the non-romantic column, please feel free to move this thread there.
I feel like this is research for Netflix's "Special" series.

At any rate, people with all kinds of ailments, disabilities, unpleasantness, unsightliness etc etc etc are able to find mates. Why wouldn't you be able to do the same? It may take more effort and more time and even a lowering of your standards but it is possible.
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Old 07-29-2019, 02:28 PM
 
12,359 posts, read 13,634,572 times
Reputation: 14402
How could you not be able to meet people?

In this tech world most people do everything online. There are thousands of areas on the internet where you could meet people. Yeah, I suppose you will have to inform them of your disabilities but you could build something way before that happens.

Back in the day it was all face to face and within a hundred mile radius. Now you can meet people all over the world! Cheer up and get out there!
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Old Yesterday, 08:38 PM
 
31 posts, read 7,963 times
Reputation: 47
Thank you all for your responses. It is much appreciated. I still have my doubts that I will ever marry or raise a family because I have my limits to what I can provide. But hopefully maybe someone out there would be willing to settle for less.
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Old Today, 11:04 AM
 
337 posts, read 188,794 times
Reputation: 469
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbioman23 View Post
Thank you all for your responses. It is much appreciated. I still have my doubts that I will ever marry or raise a family because I have my limits to what I can provide. But hopefully maybe someone out there would be willing to settle for less.

When you get right down to it, that's all people in our position can do.
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