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Old 07-25-2019, 03:57 PM
 
2,154 posts, read 1,704,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
How did she signal disinterest?

They talked on Sunday, made plans for Thursday, and then said they'd touch base on Thursday.

She touched base on Thursday. He said he forgot and that he has other plans. He then suggested an inappropriate time to meet up for the first time (as if he views it as a hook up).

I don't see how she's at fault here. Because of the movie thing? Please...
Yes the movie thing. That thing was a communication signal. I'm not making a value judgment towards OP or other party, so there's no need to for a defensive posture.
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:34 PM
 
4,886 posts, read 1,483,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
How did she signal disinterest?

They talked on Sunday, made plans for Thursday, and then said they'd touch base on Thursday.

She touched base on Thursday. He said he forgot and that he has other plans. He then suggested an inappropriate time to meet up for the first time (as if he views it as a hook up).

I don't see how she's at fault here. Because of the movie thing? Please...
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Yes the movie thing. That thing was a communication signal. I'm not making a value judgment towards OP or other party, so there's no need to for a defensive posture.
You're assuming she was supposed to contact him some time between Sunday and Thursday to tell him about the movie. He may have meant when they touched base on Thursday or during their meet up on Thursday. Or, as Auraliea said, it may have just been said to transition out of the conversation with no actual expectation.
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Old 07-25-2019, 04:39 PM
 
2,154 posts, read 1,704,953 times
Reputation: 2665
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
You're assuming she was supposed to contact him some time between Sunday and Thursday to tell him about the movie. He may have meant when they touched base on Thursday or during their meet up on Thursday. Or, as Auraliea said, it may have just been said to transition out of the conversation with no actual expectation.
We can disagree. The outcome, however, is more consistent with my model.

But then again it could be the result of two forgetful people.
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:58 PM
 
7,531 posts, read 2,976,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Your signaled disinterest, he made other plans. What's the surprise here?
Agreed. Meet where? When? What day? She doesn’t remember if he said Thursday! He didn’t want to be pouty and tell you he made other plans because you never got back to him like you left it. It sounds like you’re the flaky one. If you want to actually meet someone, don’t leave it at “touch base in the middle of the week or maybe Thursday (bc now it’s Thursday)” now he said “fine, if 11s too late I’ll be back next week”...and then did you make plans this time? Or are you going to wait for more base-touching sometime next week?
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,661 posts, read 33,511,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I agree. If someone had said they would let me know how a movie was I'd be expecting to here something, just a brief text even. The fact that that much time passed and no response would tell me she isn't really that interested in me and I'd make other plans too.
Iíll third this thought. The OP created her own L on this one and now she has to take it.
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Old 07-25-2019, 06:08 PM
 
4,061 posts, read 1,731,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Agreed. Meet where? When? What day? She doesnít remember if he said Thursday! He didnít want to be pouty and tell you he made other plans because you never got back to him like you left it. It sounds like youíre the flaky one. If you want to actually meet someone, donít leave it at ďtouch base in the middle of the week or maybe Thursday (bc now itís Thursday)Ē now he said ďfine, if 11s too late Iíll be back next weekĒ...and then did you make plans this time? Or are you going to wait for more base-touching sometime next week?
Yes, the plans were way too vague. She didnít know the day or the time they were supposed to meet. It is no wonder he made plans. Maybe they were supposed to meet up Wednesday and he had the plans for Thursday before he even set up the date. It seems like if you want to set up a date, you need to have more firm plans such as a date and rough time, even if you havenít picked out the exact time/location yet. Most people arenít going to want to plan a date with a new person a couple of hours ahead of time.
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Old Yesterday, 03:01 PM
 
1,217 posts, read 1,359,414 times
Reputation: 1911
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182 View Post
I'm supposed to meet a guy tonight off a dating app. Basically we last spoke on the phone Sunday afternoon, i told him that night I was going to the movies and he asked me to let him know how the movie was and said we would touch base on Thursday (I think or midweek). I never contacted him after the movie, not thinking much of it, but now it's 2:30pm and I haven't heard from him. Do I reach out to him and ask if we're still meeting? Or just let it go?
I would have waited for him to touch base during the week. He didn't, so I would think he wasn't interested.

It's online, so let him put forth some effort, at least for the first meeting.
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Old Yesterday, 03:35 PM
 
512 posts, read 316,547 times
Reputation: 380
@OP Maybe he doesn't want to seem overeager. If you want to see him then text him.
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Old Yesterday, 03:56 PM
 
1,668 posts, read 3,614,356 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Typically in my experience when people tell you to let them know how something went (particularly a movie or an event) they're just saying it to transition out of a conversation. Most don't really expect you to.
OMG don't listen to this. If someone ask you something and you say you'll do it. Then do it!

He probably thinks you went with his competition and things went well

Mpmh who knows, but you're the one with a missed task. So reach out.
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Old Yesterday, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
11,875 posts, read 26,870,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I agree. If someone had said they would let me know how a movie was I'd be expecting to here something, just a brief text even. The fact that that much time passed and no response would tell me she isn't really that interested in me and I'd make other plans too.
This would be my take as well.
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