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Old 07-26-2019, 10:55 AM
 
9,044 posts, read 5,211,145 times
Reputation: 10294

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
I'm female and any woman that complains her husband/BF masturbates is one worth dumping. How insane, how pathetic, how controlling and how stupid. No matter what she says, you ain't gonna stop and why should you? And why should she stop if you catch her doing it? What is this, the Middle Ages?
It's not insane, pathetic, controlling, or stupid to want to have a sex life with your partner. How ridiculous.

 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,204 posts, read 17,540,021 times
Reputation: 42046
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Well, if you think about it, you're choosing NOT to have sex or masturbate at night because of the insomnia. "How often" is not the problem.

Since that's the ONLY time she is available to have sex, you're choosing to masturbate instead of have sex with her. YOU get to masturbate. What does she get??

How is this not obvious to you??


Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
She's not upset because you masturbate, she's upset because you masturbate instead of having sex with her.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:10 AM
 
20,968 posts, read 16,829,324 times
Reputation: 39303
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
And they must not ever spend the night, which would make morning sex easier.
OP lives with his parents, not sure about gf
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:12 AM
 
20,968 posts, read 16,829,324 times
Reputation: 39303
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
I'm female and any woman that complains her husband/BF masturbates is one worth dumping. How insane, how pathetic, how controlling and how stupid. No matter what she says, you ain't gonna stop and why should you? And why should she stop if you catch her doing it? What is this, the Middle Ages?
She is only complaining about it because he isnít having sex with her. I think any woman would be upset by that.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:14 AM
 
775 posts, read 456,831 times
Reputation: 690
^

Agreed. it is a valid complaint.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Southern California
24,298 posts, read 8,500,243 times
Reputation: 15799
OP: All I get from most of your posts is Immaturity. So obsessed with sex, go do other good deeds in life.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 11:47 AM
 
383 posts, read 97,474 times
Reputation: 785
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I was having insomnia problems and the insomnia I noticed was actually much worse if I have sex in the evnening, so I stopped doing it and it's been better since. I asked about that in another thread, here:

Is it normal for sex to cause insomnia?

It's related to this current issue, because my gf asked me how often I masturbate just in casual conversation and I said everyday usually, once.

She said when, and I said in the morning when I get up before I go to work, cause if I do it after work, it causes me to have insomnia then late in the day.

So she said "so you find time to masturbate, but not have sex with me", to which I replied well the only time we have to do is in the evenings cause of your work schedules, and I don't want to be up all night and tired for work the next day if I do, especially since I am still trying to catch up on sleep.

So she started crying and is now distant from me. But just because I masturbate every morning, has nothing to do with me not wanting her. Did she overreact, or was I being insensitive?
She didn't know about your insomnia before? So when and how often where you two having sex together before you told her? Sounds like she wasn't really content before.

She asked a personal question. You replied honestly. You told her didn't know how to fix the time problem.

What she said next was "honey, let's work this out somehow so we can improve our relationship"

OH WAIT! She didn't say that. For being honest to her she instead throws you under the bus. (I'll explain why in a moment). After you had explained your insomnia problem and how you knew she needs her sleep, and your morning schedules don't match for morning sex, what happened next:

Quote:
So she started crying
So here's the deal. Here's why she threw you under the bus. YOU need to work out a time that works for both of you. That's your job as the man to arrange romance. THAT's why she is really upset. Now that she found out you release sexual tension every day, it sounds like she would like sex every day. Well do you know? You need to fine-tune romance just like you fine-tune a classical guitar so you can play romantic songs in tune.

In a mature relationship, satisfactory sex is created when both sides communicate their desires and the other listens. It's the man's job to initiate communication when it's apparent that sex is not where it needs to be. And if one side is releasing sexual tension frequently without the other, the relationship is not where it should be, and the man needs to fix it by communicating with her. Which you finally did, but you only communicated the problem, not the solution. It's the man's job to make sure the sex in the relationship is great.

Her "but not have sex with me" complaint is not about the timing, it's about you not being the man taking care of this issue.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
11,898 posts, read 26,930,928 times
Reputation: 4605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
It's not insane, pathetic, controlling, or stupid to want to have a sex life with your partner. How ridiculous.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 02:01 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,834 posts, read 8,688,140 times
Reputation: 20150
See what you get for talking about it with her?
Don't talk about it with your partner. Don't talk about previous partners, either. Just don't! Decline. Smile, but decline.
 
Old 07-26-2019, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,699 posts, read 24,301,699 times
Reputation: 49382
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
So she started crying and is now distant from me. But just because I masturbate every morning, has nothing to do with me not wanting her. Did she overreact, or was I being insensitive?
How are you demonstrating this level of desire and intmacy to her? So, having an orgasm at night gives you insomnia, but you can always help her along in a way that doesn't affect you, right? If your attitude towards this is, "well, I got mine, so you're on your own, babe," then it's no wonder she got upset.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 07-26-2019 at 03:06 PM..
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