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Old 08-03-2019, 07:28 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,472,664 times
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These would be guys who are having trouble finding dates and have PTSD about it. It's bad because just them acting like they are in a rush and jittery or angry and impatient (before you have even seen/met them in person) makes you think, "uh oh, this guy is probably not attractive", which may turn you off, or at least severely diminish any excitement you may normally and naturally develop and feel. I wish guys just didn't act that way and stayed cool. If a woman is still acting aloof after your first date, then yes, she's probably not that into you. Then you can start blocking her and all that stuff.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:31 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,472,664 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moxiegal View Post
Been there done that. Burned the T-shirt. OLD.

I met this latest husband on OLD. It has turned out to be a bad marriage. He is Aspergers, but he was able to mask it well.

I feel OLD has changed the whole culture of dating. ANY dating. Now potential dates are also viewed through those OLD rose colored glasses.

I deleted my dating profile in 2008. I had only kept it up to keep in touch with the friends I met there.
When this marriage is finally finished in divorce, I will no longer date. I had waited 9 years for this one. No more.

OLD is way harder than pre-internet dating. You have to have your guard up with OLD and have your eyes wide open, unlike how it used to be before OLD. It was easy then.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:34 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 579,347 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
OLD is way harder than pre-internet dating. You have to have your guard up with OLD and have your eyes wide open, unlike how it used to be before OLD. It was easy then.
Yeah, and there's that awkward hump you got to get past as it can be an awkward moment when coming face to face with a complete stranger as opposed to via your social circles. I think that can sometimes put a damper on things.

There was some young celebrity that was talking about how dating suck these days, and she said when she was on the date that she thought, "I'd rather be at home, reading my book right now"...and this wasn't a reflection on her date being boring...could've been any dude. It was just her attitude going into it. That when you feel like you would rather be doing something else, the person could be smoking hot, but at that point you're burnt out.
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Old 08-03-2019, 10:31 AM
 
7,648 posts, read 3,009,598 times
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Originally Posted by Hiruko View Post
See, if you've said goodbye or offered an explanation and they keep going, it's no longer ghosting. That's ridiculous. I've never blown up on anyone, but I'm still ghosted after dishing out $160. That's not fair. Receiving annoying messages is not the same as being assaulted.
The (reluctant) decision to ghost is not equal to the amount of money spent. Some guys like to spend a lot of money, some guys (here) have a debate all lined up in their head about paying. That really interferes with the experience of meeting someone.

Be open minded, if you’re the type who doesn’t care about spending more money on dinner, or a night out meeting someone, then that’s you! You do you. I know I spend more than a lot of people, it was well over $100 taking my daughter to the prime rib buffet a couple of weekends ago. I have different priorities. If I suggested that to a guy though, right away he thinks: “Goldigger”. I never said he was paying though! I like a great dining experience and almost always have one.

I honestly can’t recall the price comparison to attraction ratio though, it’s just not how I think. It does seem related to the guy with an emotional blow up, because he has decided he’s paying for more than real-time entertainment, as though his money was an investment. Believe me when I say, not a lot of women are going to feel they owe you anything. If you pay, do so without strings.
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Old 08-03-2019, 03:53 PM
 
2,172 posts, read 1,717,350 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiruko View Post
See, if you've said goodbye or offered an explanation and they keep going, it's no longer ghosting. That's ridiculous. I've never blown up on anyone, but I'm still ghosted after dishing out $160. That's not fair. Receiving annoying messages is not the same as being assaulted.
I have spent like that and would feel insulted too. Though, I know most guys don't have my temperament; so, I imagine that I would begin to empathize with her position and then move on. Luckily, it hasn't happened to me after an actual meeting. OLD messages, plenty of times, but I didn't take those seriously anyway.
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Old 08-03-2019, 04:20 PM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,472,664 times
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Originally Posted by Danny970 View Post
If guys on dating sites seem desperate it's because they are desperate.
Men that have a shred of self-respect don't beg for dates on the internet.

No matter how true or false this is, it doesn't change the fact that there are guys on the internet who will get explosive about it and women have no way of knowing which guy is which, aside from developing your womanly spidey senses (which guys hate).
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Old 08-03-2019, 04:31 PM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,472,664 times
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Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Yeah, and there's that awkward hump you got to get past as it can be an awkward moment when coming face to face with a complete stranger as opposed to via your social circles. I think that can sometimes put a damper on things.
For sure! This is what I miss the most about the old-school way of dating. It was so fun and so exciting to do it that way. Now I don't even come close to having those feelings through OLD. It makes me sad.


Quote:
There was some young celebrity that was talking about how dating suck these days, and she said when she was on the date that she thought, "I'd rather be at home, reading my book right now"...and this wasn't a reflection on her date being boring...could've been any dude. It was just her attitude going into it. That when you feel like you would rather be doing something else, the person could be smoking hot, but at that point you're burnt out.

Burnout is a real thing and sadly I don't think many people recognize when they are in that place and then pause their dating. Instead they will keep dating and keep feeling frustrated. I think taking time to reset is necessary sometimes, and that time may take longer than you think.
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Old 08-03-2019, 04:51 PM
 
570 posts, read 328,914 times
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About golddigging I have dated quite a bit and the guys have paid. We would go out to bars or restaurants and without questioning anything they picked up the tab which could easily be into the hundreds. One guy confided he was a regular at the bar though so many of his drinks were comped. I didnt have sex with these guys yet they continued to invite me out and pick up the tab time and again. I was not broke at the time so I could have paid for myself but they didnt seem to mind. I had the impression they had more than enough money because thats the impression they gave off.

Was I golddigging or taking advantage? I figured there was something they were getting out of it. I wasnt twisting their arm to ask me out or pay. They knew I wasnt putting out. Also I was putting effort into being good company and looking good. Its almost like I was a sort of geisha. I think I helped increase their confidence. I made it about them and in return they were willing to pay for my company. That said, it was not so pleasurable for me but I got free nights out.

Perhaps our society needs more geisha type girls. To assist lonely or insecure men until they pull themselves together enough to attract that online dating girl.
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Old 08-04-2019, 06:09 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 579,347 times
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Originally Posted by srjth View Post
For sure! This is what I miss the most about the old-school way of dating. It was so fun and so exciting to do it that way. Now I don't even come close to having those feelings through OLD. It makes me sad.

Yeah...that's what' surprises me when some people here thinks it's the BEST option beyond the organic way. I recall someone here refusing to meet via friends circles...when that was the most common way to meet others.

Me;" So how did you all meet?"

Simple answer : "Through friends". (2 words).

The rest was history.

I am only guessing it's because they've never had a bad online dating experience. A poor lady friend of mine must've gone slough of pervy, handsy men...and she kicked online dating the curb. Didn't take that long either.

Sometimes it takes a few perverted messages in an inbox to scare a woman off the site altogether within days.
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Old 08-04-2019, 08:42 AM
 
7,648 posts, read 3,009,598 times
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Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
About golddigging..,
Perhaps our society needs more geisha type girls. To assist lonely or insecure men until they pull themselves together enough to attract that online dating girl.
Something about the way you worded that I can go along with. Itís a different thought than ďI canít get a gf, so Iíll pay for one.Ē As long as the guy recognizes the situation for what it is: Someone socially acceptable and at least moderately attractive that you think youíll never get, is going to go along with you so you can practice your social skills until you donít wonder how guys do that.
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