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Old 08-06-2019, 09:11 AM
 
144 posts, read 22,001 times
Reputation: 60

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
I've jumped into online dating. I found one man I haven't yet met in person miffed because I wasn't able to speak on the phone with him when he wanted (though I told him it was because I took a day trip and I did accommodate him 2 previous times.)

And a second one tells me we had plans tonight, which I don't remember- we didn't set a time, I thought it was a maybe. And when I said let's meet tomorrow evening at 5 , he told me he was blocking me because this happens a lot.

I was truly interested in meeting these men- why do they expect so much when we haven't even met? Thoughts? What have your experiences been? Men are just not confident or patient these days it seems. (at least most of the ones I'm coming across.) Where is the entitlement coming from?
I met my girlfriend on pof. She is very insecure. She is both insecure and impatient. Why? She is in her mid 30s, childless African American going on her 3rd professional degree. She put years behind her to focus on her career in which modern feminism says women can have it all. Being in your late 30s creates Avenue of inpatients for the partner to step up. As well as insecurities with me seeing other women and not being able to commit. Some of these in securities and impatients come from mental illness like depression and anxiety.

Again that's my two cents.
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Old 08-06-2019, 10:05 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Verifiedcheckmark View Post
I met my girlfriend on pof. She is very insecure. She is both insecure and impatient. Why? She is in her mid 30s, childless African American going on her 3rd professional degree. She put years behind her to focus on her career in which modern feminism says women can have it all.
That's actually last year's feminism. We now know that message is women can DO it all. Or die of exhaustion trying. One neat thing about new ways of thinking, there is no longer always a need to march to the married -> kids timelines. I am sorry for your friend. Life is always what is happening now. And their ARE more and more men interested in a genuine partnership where both can balance their goals. There are still neanderthals too. Society is a slow boat to turn.
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Old 08-08-2019, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,973 posts, read 3,824,412 times
Reputation: 20331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
... I would never in a million years judge a date for not paying my way, and as I've said before, actually prefer to pay for my own costs on a date. BUT! I might judge him somewhat for choosing a very boring location to go to, if there are better options nearby.
If I'm paying my own way, I would not let the man have sole decision-making over what place we go to. Sure, if he's paying for me he can pick the restaurant, the movie or whatever entertainment. But if we're going dutch, I'm having a say in what we do.
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Old 08-08-2019, 09:00 PM
 
2,180 posts, read 1,722,727 times
Reputation: 2763
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If I'm paying my own way, I would not let the man have sole decision-making over what place we go to. Sure, if he's paying for me he can pick the restaurant, the movie or whatever entertainment. But if we're going dutch, I'm having a say in what we do.
Both of you should have a say no matter who pays. You might eventually end-up going to place favored by whose paying but both preferences should be considered.
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Old 08-08-2019, 09:55 PM
 
7,736 posts, read 3,032,095 times
Reputation: 12720
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Both of you should have a say no matter who pays. You might eventually end-up going to place favored by whose paying but both preferences should be considered.
That would be nice! I keep getting to the meeting point with men who think it's good to say: "Whatever you want. that's fine with me."

What if I might want a guy with an opinion? One who says: This is a cool place, if I can pick let's go here.

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Old 08-08-2019, 10:31 PM
 
2,145 posts, read 587,518 times
Reputation: 1407
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If I'm paying my own way, I would not let the man have sole decision-making over what place we go to. Sure, if he's paying for me he can pick the restaurant, the movie or whatever entertainment. But if we're going dutch, I'm having a say in what we do.
It's pretty sad when people get all huffy with the logistics of the plans when you're really just getting together to have fun, no pressure.
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Old 08-08-2019, 10:37 PM
 
2,180 posts, read 1,722,727 times
Reputation: 2763
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
That would be nice! I keep getting to the meeting point with men who think it's good to say: "Whatever you want. that's fine with me."

What if I might want a guy with an opinion? One who says: This is a cool place, if I can pick let's go here.

Ooops. That's what I always say. Next time I will get deep voice and go: Look here little lady (pulling pants up like 90 year old grandpa), I SAID were going to Golden Corral and that's FINAL.
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Old 08-09-2019, 01:18 AM
 
3 posts, read 294 times
Reputation: 24
Local region forums usually help to find another partner.

Last edited by ClawsBross; 08-09-2019 at 01:41 AM..
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Old 08-09-2019, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Texas
9,973 posts, read 3,824,412 times
Reputation: 20331
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
It's pretty sad when people get all huffy with the logistics of the plans when you're really just getting together to have fun, no pressure.
Not getting huffy. I just can't have fun in a country & western club. If I'm paying I should have a say. But most of the time, my dates paid for me; I usually only dated successful men who had no issues pulling out their wallet.
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Old 08-09-2019, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Colorado
12,112 posts, read 7,437,635 times
Reputation: 21763
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Ooops. That's what I always say. Next time I will get deep voice and go: Look here little lady (pulling pants up like 90 year old grandpa), I SAID were going to Golden Corral and that's FINAL.
Jeff Goldblum could pull it off.

But hey. Women on the internet call him "Daddy" for reasons, I guess.
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