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Old 07-28-2019, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Iowa
171 posts, read 37,037 times
Reputation: 277

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
^^^^^

I agree the communication was off. Me, listening better and paying closer attention to what I was agreeing to. I probably said if nothing else, we'll meet for coffee Friday night. I definitely comunicated all I had to do Thursday and Friday. He could have been considerate too, when we were texting, I told him i was tired and why. He thought I was going that night anyways and when that became clear, I clarified Saturday. But that wasn't good enough.
Had nothing to do with me not liking him enough, nothing wrong with his looks or personality until this.
If I like a girl and feel excited about meeting her, I am not satisfied with a vague potential date until the details are nailed down. I get it if you want the guy to make the first move, but still think you should be proactive and specific if a plan hasn't materialized. And especially if you are trying to change what was previously discussed.

Anyway, it seems like you've learned from the experience. It's a process. Best of luck!
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Old 07-28-2019, 10:14 AM
 
317 posts, read 98,645 times
Reputation: 214
Quote:
Originally Posted by riffle View Post
If I like a girl and feel excited about meeting her, I am not satisfied with a vague potential date until the details are nailed down. I get it if you want the guy to make the first move, but still think you should be proactive and specific if a plan hasn't materialized. And especially if you are trying to change what was previously discussed.

Anyway, it seems like you've learned from the experience. It's a process. Best of luck!
Thank you.
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Old 07-28-2019, 11:13 AM
Lou
 
280 posts, read 113,205 times
Reputation: 433
Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Girl View Post
I think this overall issue of how bitter people on dating apps often are stems from a toxic idea that infects our society: The idea that we all deserve and are entitled to love.
This is a great point.

A related problem, whether online or in person, is the expectation that there are predetermined rules of engagement that everybody knows and buys.
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Old 07-28-2019, 12:54 PM
 
Location: California
907 posts, read 244,523 times
Reputation: 2547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lou View Post
This is a great point.

A related problem, whether online or in person, is the expectation that there are predetermined rules of engagement that everybody knows and buys.
Really good point too. People have very different ideas about the "right" way to behave. There is no clear etiquette that everyone agrees on.
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Old 07-28-2019, 02:15 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,757,706 times
Reputation: 20114
I would state in my online profile that I don't do unplanned dates, get-togethers, or "hook-ups".
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Old 07-28-2019, 04:10 PM
 
1,259 posts, read 1,306,956 times
Reputation: 1032
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
I've jumped into online dating. I found one man I haven't yet met in person miffed because I wasn't able to speak on the phone with him when he wanted (though I told him it was because I took a day trip and I did accommodate him 2 previous times.)

And a second one tells me we had plans tonight, which I don't remember- we didn't set a time, I thought it was a maybe. And when I said let's meet tomorrow evening at 5 , he told me he was blocking me because this happens a lot.

I was truly interested in meeting these men- why do they expect so much when we haven't even met? Thoughts? What have your experiences been? Men are just not confident or patient these days it seems. (at least most of the ones I'm coming across.) Where is the entitlement coming from?
Online dating means that people are simply playing the numbers game and online dating enabled anyone to string someone along with little effort - all that is needed to string someone along is a few clicks and simple prepared excuses to stall any significant progress in communication (or dating).

While the "numbers game" (i.e. people try to hit it off with as many people as possible and juggle through the initiated strings) and "stringing people along" are quite present in other means of dating and communication in general, online dating takes this to another level and it requires very little (genuine) effort to employ such tactics successfully.
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Old 07-28-2019, 05:04 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,904 posts, read 3,757,706 times
Reputation: 20114
Quote:
Originally Posted by nald View Post
Online dating means that people are simply playing the numbers game and online dating enabled anyone to string someone along with little effort - all that is needed to string someone along is a few clicks and simple prepared excuses to stall any significant progress in communication (or dating)..
Really? I met my husband through online dating. I didn't get "strung along" because I am smart.

And if you think a person can't be played or strung along, even without being in an online dating scenario, I have news for you. Players have always been around. Even before the internet was invented.
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Old 07-28-2019, 05:40 PM
 
317 posts, read 98,645 times
Reputation: 214
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I would state in my online profile that I don't do unplanned dates, get-togethers, or "hook-ups".
I like that- "I don't accept unplanned first dates / meet ups."
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Old 07-28-2019, 08:53 PM
 
7,559 posts, read 2,982,983 times
Reputation: 12540
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Really? I met my husband through online dating. I didn't get "strung along" because I am smart.

And if you think a person can't be played or strung along, even without being in an online dating scenario, I have news for you. Players have always been around. Even before the internet was invented.
While I have had experiences with men who just canít seem to leave their house and meet, I believe they may be the group of men who will always be using this ďNumbers game / women with inflated egos / Its a Trap / A Guy Canít WinĒ cut and paste retort for why they arenít getting anywhere. Think about it, who better to come up with this time after time, and believe in this stacked deck theory than those who are creating it for themselves.
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Old 07-28-2019, 10:55 PM
 
Location: around
721 posts, read 246,044 times
Reputation: 641
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
I've jumped into online dating. I found one man I haven't yet met in person miffed because I wasn't able to speak on the phone with him when he wanted (though I told him it was because I took a day trip and I did accommodate him 2 previous times.)

And a second one tells me we had plans tonight, which I don't remember- we didn't set a time, I thought it was a maybe. And when I said let's meet tomorrow evening at 5 , he told me he was blocking me because this happens a lot.

I was truly interested in meeting these men- why do they expect so much when we haven't even met? Thoughts? What have your experiences been? Men are just not confident or patient these days it seems. (at least most of the ones I'm coming across.) Where is the entitlement coming from?



What's that got to do with confident actually they sound pretty sure of themselves to me.
The rest , l dunno , l'm not there and you guys don't seem to wait for nothin but not wanting to eff around comes to mind , after being effd around a lot by others.
Still , on the other hand l do see your point in that part.
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