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I don't like coffee dates, because there's no structure or timeline for when the date should end.
What kinds of dates is there a timeline for to end? Movies, dinners, etc? If you meet someone at 8 pm you could gracefully exit at 10 pm on a weeknight.
When I am using OLD, and I exclusively use Tinder and Bumble, I don't put a lot of time and effort into any single person. POF and OKcupid are straight trash and any of the paid sites are entirely too much effort.
A short conversation to see if there's mutual interest and good rapport, an exchange of social medias to make sure she actually looks as advertised, and then a suggestion for a drink or some other meet up in the next days. Occasionally things will really go off in the initial chat nd of course I'll go with the flow of good rapport, but I don't chase a life story in these apps. Funny thing though, some conversations that fizzle out will get reignited weeks or months later via social media (namely Instagram) when I post something interesting / cool / whatever.
It's just the landscape. As much as this forum rails against it, there are plenty of attention seeking chicks on these apps trying to boost their social media followings. Plenty of women just looking for attention. Just time wasters in general. So I just cut to the chase. Saves a ton of pointless effort. I don't look at OLD as a way to get to know people. I see it like I see the street, a yoga studio, a bar, a concert venue etc. It's just a venue to meet strangers. Get to know them in person.
And if the person starts getting wishy washy or flakes, just move on to the next. It's no hard feelings
What kinds of dates is there a timeline for to end? Movies, dinners, etc? If you meet someone at 8 pm you could gracefully exit at 10 pm on a weeknight.
The duration of a dinner out is about right for a first date IMO.
I also think dinner is better for a weeknight. Not sure if I even know a coffee shop open from 8-10pm lol
$100?!
I usually suggest Olive Garden or something like that. Occasionally somewhere more expensive, but not $50/plate!
Exactly. You can get a perfectly nice meal for under $20 (with the caveat that I don't buy alcohol at restaurants - BYOB only, if I'm drinking alcohol). But I agree that something like coffee or ice cream is even better.
Unless you expect $50 restaurant meals to be the norm if the relationship takes off, why set that tone?
Exactly. You can get a perfectly nice meal for under $20 (with the caveat that I don't buy alcohol at restaurants - BYOB only, if I'm drinking alcohol). But I agree that something like coffee or ice cream is even better.
Unless you expect $50 restaurant meals to be the norm if the relationship takes off, why set that tone?
I went to Olive Garden with a date one time and he thought it was way over-priced.
$100?!
I usually suggest Olive Garden or something like that. Occasionally somewhere more expensive, but not $50/plate!
No olive gardens here. And not $50 a plate unless over in DC or Baltimore and then much more. Pretty much longhorn, outback, Texas roadhouse, NEW or anyplace similar is going to be $20-30 a plate. Appetizers and a couple drinks with tip, figure $100.
With a few exceptions, almost every first meeting I had from O.L.D. was coffee.
If you already know someone well, it stands to reason you might want be open to spending more money on the first date.
I am not the kind of a person who goes to a coffee shop, so I would not want to mislead a potential partner into thinking that I like coffee shops. I live in a very laid-back area where it is not unusual to go to dinner on a first date due to the number of establishments where I live.
I wouldn't necessarily mind a coffee shop date but it depends on the coffee shop. Big points for suggesting someplace cool. Local knowledge or even the ability to use Google to find something interesting, is a good skill when dating I think.
Do I want to go to a Starbucks? No.
Do I want to go to Java Punk, a steampunk themed coffee shop with good food, fun beverages (such as the "Lewis Carroll" which is hot apple cider with a shot of root beer syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon and butterscotch sauce on top) awesome art, and board games and giant magnetic chess and Scrabble on the walls? Well heck yes I do.
Hell you know it's funny, we have been ON AND ON here about whether the man should pay, or whoever asks should pay, or people should split checks, just an endless series of noises about this subject... I would never in a million years judge a date for not paying my way, and as I've said before, actually prefer to pay for my own costs on a date. BUT! I might judge him somewhat for choosing a very boring location to go to, if there are better options nearby.
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