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Old Yesterday, 06:53 PM
 
300 posts, read 95,799 times
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I've jumped into online dating. I found one man I haven't yet met in person miffed because I wasn't able to speak on the phone with him when he wanted (though I told him it was because I took a day trip and I did accommodate him 2 previous times.)

And a second one tells me we had plans tonight, which I don't remember- we didn't set a time, I thought it was a maybe. And when I said let's meet tomorrow evening at 5 , he told me he was blocking me because this happens a lot.

I was truly interested in meeting these men- why do they expect so much when we haven't even met? Thoughts? What have your experiences been? Men are just not confident or patient these days it seems. (at least most of the ones I'm coming across.) Where is the entitlement coming from?

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 12:53 PM.. Reason: Edited thread title.
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Old Yesterday, 07:54 PM
 
2,154 posts, read 1,704,953 times
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Mod cut.

Although, when I was on OLD my policy was if we set plans days in advance and then all of sudden world came crashing down and she cancelled semi last minute (within 3 hours), I ceased contact and ignored subsequent messages.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 12:55 PM.. Reason: Orphaned comment.
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Old Yesterday, 08:01 PM
 
300 posts, read 95,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Snip.]

Although, when I was on OLD my policy was if we set plans days in advance and then all of sudden world came crashing down and she cancelled semi last minute (within 3 hours), I ceased contact and ignored subsequent messages.
Mod cut. Thank you for your response. I'm getting a lot of "maybe we'll do something Friday night." And then I usually don't want to. A woman has to do hair and make up, takes energy. Yes, if I have a plan I usually keep it. I too agree with your policy- cancelling an actual date is really a bad sign, no one has time for it. This is where "impatience" , for lack of a better word is well advised.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 12:57 PM.. Reason: Orphaned comment.
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Old Yesterday, 08:15 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,859 posts, read 3,743,348 times
Reputation: 20028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
I've jumped into online dating. I found one man I haven't yet met in person miffed because I wasn't able to speak on the phone with him when he wanted (though I told him it was because I took a day trip and I did accommodate him 2 previous times.)

And a second one tells me we had plans tonight, which I don't remember- we didn't set a time, I thought it was a maybe. And when I said let's meet tomorrow evening at 5 , he told me he was blocking me because this happens a lot.

I was truly interested in meeting these men- why do they expect so much when we haven't even met? Thoughts? What have your experiences been? Men are just not confident or patient these days it seems. (at least most of the ones I'm coming across.) Where is the entitlement coming from?
They are being unreasonable and they also sound bitter.

I once had a man blast me because he found out I had been on a few dates with other guys before my first date with him. So essentially he demanded exclusivity from me before we'd even met. He felt I was "cheating on him" before we even had our first date. This was back in the old days before online dating.
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Old Yesterday, 08:26 PM
 
300 posts, read 95,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
They are being unreasonable and they also sound bitter.

I once had a man blast me because he found out I had been on a few dates with other guys before my first date with him. So essentially he demanded exclusivity from me before we'd even met. He felt I was "cheating on him" before we even had our first date. This was back in the old days before online dating.
Yes, I'm told it can be difficult for men online. I'm sure the sense of entitlement can go either way. I've heard a similar thing online to what you've experienced. People expecting exclusivity before meeting, "I hope you're not chatting with others" Well, yes I am, we haven't met yet and so you should be too!"

I do think it's a bitter thing on these particular men's parts- taking out previous bad experiences on me. Good luck with that attitude!
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Old Yesterday, 08:54 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,859 posts, read 3,743,348 times
Reputation: 20028
These men just need to ditch their sense of entitlement. It's out of control if they don't think the person they're talking to, isn't talking to anyone else. That is an unhealthy frame of mind. Just do not respond to them anymore. Move on quickly to the next guy.
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Old Yesterday, 08:56 PM
 
1,067 posts, read 668,777 times
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Many people of both genders are flaky on OLD. If you're going to use OLD, you have to be prepared to weed thru a lot of flakes before you find the right person. It's a long term project. That's just how it is.
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Old Yesterday, 08:59 PM
 
Location: NNJ
9,623 posts, read 5,406,118 times
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Maybe their bad attitude, insecurities, entitlement, impatience is the reason they've resorted to OLD instead of interaction IRL. I'd say change dating pool... ie... try something different than OLD.
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Old Yesterday, 09:17 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,859 posts, read 3,743,348 times
Reputation: 20028
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
Maybe their bad attitude, insecurities, entitlement, impatience is the reason they've resorted to OLD instead of interaction IRL. I'd say change dating pool... ie... try something different than OLD.
OLD is not any different than any other form of dating. I've had the exact same experiences in other types of dating, as I've had in OLD. No better, no worse. All types of people are doing OLD.

OLD also opens up a much larger pool of available people to date, than just trying to meet people IRL. You can potentially meet hundreds of people with OLD. If you limit yourself to just dating people at work, at church, you have maybe 20 available people to choose from, along with the bar scene. That's not going to get someone anywhere, especially if they are past their college years.

Last edited by PriscillaVanilla; Yesterday at 09:48 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,825 posts, read 20,093,007 times
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They deal with a lot of flakes, so they bail easily.
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