U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-31-2019, 03:48 PM
 
308 posts, read 60,573 times
Reputation: 602

Advertisements

I think a relationship between a 35 year old man and an 18 year old girl is less likely to be an equal partnership or long lasting. Totally different life stages.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-31-2019, 04:14 PM
 
308 posts, read 60,573 times
Reputation: 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by socal225 View Post
She's the jealous type, so I totally understand her. As a delicate soul that she is, I should've taken care of her instead of making such a terrible mistake and ultimately hurting her. And that is the thing, I really wanted to take care of her.
This is starting to sound creepy now, like you have some kind of daddy/little girl fetish. She needs to learn how to take care of herself and be an independent adult. Did you know that a person's brain isn't fully developed until they reach their mid to late twenties? She has a lot of growing to do between now and then. You 'taking care of her' is not the best thing for her
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
328 posts, read 95,938 times
Reputation: 190
Well, what can I say that hasn't already been said? OP, walk away before this gets worse. Remember, she might be of legal age, but I bet you she still lives with her parents. Her high school years aren't too far from her past. That being said, do you really want to deal with her Father knocking on your door, or worse, the police?


You guys are on totally different wavelengths. This is the age for her to start discovering who she is, now that her life isn't ruled by high school cliques. She has at best, a good 10 years to go before her mindset is even remotely close to being on the same playing field as yours. You guys have different wants and needs right now. If you like younger women, try dating someone who's 25 - 30. Perfect balance of youth, and the maturity level (in theory), should match yours. You sound really desperate and creepy to be honest, with the lengths you're taking to get her to come back.


And finally, your daughters! They aren't too far from her age, and have expressed how gross and weird it would be. You even mentioned that one of them said she wouldn't speak to you if you kept dating this girl. Do you really want to tarnish your relationship with your own children for this girl? Hell, your daughter might even know her from school, assuming she was a freshman when she was a senior. You have no idea how much psychological damage you could cause to your kids from dating her. Let her go, it happened for a reason. And for God's sake, grow up!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
4,087 posts, read 7,373,039 times
Reputation: 6030
Your daughter is 14 and you’re dating an 18 year old? What’s your daughter supposed to call her - “Mommy”? This is borderline sick, imo.

Find someone in your own age group.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 03:22 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,618 posts, read 40,146,761 times
Reputation: 42032
Yeah, let it go.

Don't keep reaching out to her as it will start to get creepy. You said you what you had to say and leave it at that.

The age gap between you two is the worst possible one. Age gaps can work for some but not this combination of ages. Too much life experience differences.

She practically still has a soft spot on her head she's so young.

I know you feel bad, but she'll pull through this just fine and you'll end up being some footnote of a weird/funny situation she'll talk about 20 yrs later during a chardonnay fueled evening with her friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 05:44 PM
 
Location: (six-cent-dix-sept)
4,618 posts, read 2,354,239 times
Reputation: 2856
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I agree. A 17 year age difference may not be a problem if one person is 30 and the other 47, (or one person 60 and the other 77 -think about that) because you are both mature, working adults with a life history who have finished your education. IMHO, a 35 year old dating a young woman just out of high school is just creepy.

Just think, last year she was still a high school senior and you were 34. If you had met her then would you have asked her to her high school prom?

Would you want your daughters in high school dating men in their 30s? And, don't say that she is "mature beyond her years", she is a college freshman. Sheesh! Grow up and date women closer to your age.
+1; according to lawrence kolbergs stages of moral development, adolescence continues til about 23 years old since the folds in the brain are still growing increasing emotional and intellectual capability.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 05:48 PM
 
Location: (six-cent-dix-sept)
4,618 posts, read 2,354,239 times
Reputation: 2856
Quote:
Originally Posted by socal225 View Post
Hello all,

I am a 35-year old single father of two. I recently went back to my local community college with the plan of eventually transferring to a 4-year college to major in chemical engineering. This past January I met a young girl in one of my classes, she is 18. She is really shy and sweet, but I got jer to open up and go out on a few dates. Two months into us talking she said she just wanted to be friends, so I said ok and we kind of lost touch for a bit. In my bday, in May she sent me a happy bday wish. We started talking again and we started going out. Long story short we hadn't made it official but up until last week it was feeling like it, and I planned to take her out this past Wednesday on a date and then ask her to make it official. When we came back we started talking about a cat I had adopted for my daughters and who I was going to pick up the following day. So, as I was showing her the picture on my phone I swiped and there was a screenshot of a snapchat story of a girl whom I don't even know, but it was a provocative pic nonetheless. I was in total shock because I was not expecting it to be there, that is how insignificant it was.

Long story short, she left very upset and almost crying, and I was almost crying too because I felt so bad and didn't want her to leave like that. She left and I blew up her phone (mistake) and poured my heart out (another mistake) about how much I was sorry and how I did not want to lose her.

The following day same thing, bombarded her phone telling her how much she meant to me and pouring my heart out, and that I wanted to speak to her in person. She basically told me she thought I was better, that she wants someone who will bring her peace, and that she was a fool for believing me. She also asked for mt to come clean and be honest, and which I did and told her what the truth which is what I wrote her, I just thought the girl was cute and snapped the pic.

Anyway, she said she thought we'd be better off as friends, at which point I said ok I understand why you feel the way you feel, and I am sorry but I respect your decision. That was the last time we texted/spoke.

I feel so terrible, because she is such a good girl, and I could see myself with her and we were so compatible. I cannot wrap my head around something so insignificant altering our course, but I do understand her doubts and her reasoning.

I am trying to give her her space, but I also want to express how sorry I am and how much I want to be with her and how she is on my mind. I haven't contacted her and I think to give her her space is the best thing. However, I'm thinking of sending her some flowers in a few days?

Thoughts overall and just how to proceed, or if sending her flowers is a good idea, or perhaps a letter, or take the flowers in person?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Why not? If you end up making it work, that's great. Age doesn't mean anything. The older you both get, the less of a difference it makes. But, if things don't work out, send her my way.
are you guys related ?; you both seem o.k. with this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 05:55 PM
 
308 posts, read 60,573 times
Reputation: 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888 View Post
are you guys related ?; you both seem o.k. with this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native
Why not? If you end up making it work, that's great. Age doesn't mean anything. The older you both get, the less of a difference it makes. But, if things don't work out, send her my way.
Age does mean something in this situation. It's 18 and 35, if they were 30 and 45 it'd be completely different. This woman is barely out of high school.

I do suspect OP has a daddy/little girl fetish that extends outside the bedroom and into the dynamics of his relationships, and that's why he's into very young women. (This is the second very young woman he's posted about on this forum.)

I came across someone I dated briefly (VERY briefly) who admitted he had this fetish and wanted our potential relationship to involve around that, the essence of what OP is saying in this thread is the same as what that guy wanted with me (bits of it, word for word).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 06:08 PM
 
540 posts, read 323,596 times
Reputation: 433
OP please stop. When I was 20 my boyfriend was 37. I didnt understand the creepiness at the time but when I look back I realize how he took advantage of me. I should have been dating guys my own age. He was the aggressive pursuer in it and I just didnt know how to set boundaries then.

Leave her alone, its very inappropriate. And even if she seems to accept the relationship now in a few years she will look back with regret. Its creepy and weird.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 06:09 PM
 
Location: (six-cent-dix-sept)
4,618 posts, read 2,354,239 times
Reputation: 2856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
...
I came across someone I dated briefly (VERY briefly) who admitted he had this fetish and wanted our potential relationship to involve around that, the essence of what OP is saying in this thread is the same as what that guy wanted with me (bits of it, word for word).
was he also from socal ?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top