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Old Today, 09:58 AM
 
1,748 posts, read 1,278,668 times
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I'll say it again.

Women with disabilities, autism, etc will generally have no issues in terms of dating as long as you don't let yourself go

Men with disabilities, autism, etc are in a much tougher situation.

Men tend to date anyone as long as the person is good and they connect well with them
Women tend to have more rigid standards, and disabilities are a big sign of weakness to them
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Old Today, 10:41 AM
 
21,463 posts, read 17,049,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428 View Post
I'll say it again.

Women with disabilities, autism, etc will generally have no issues in terms of dating as long as you don't let yourself go

Men with disabilities, autism, etc are in a much tougher situation.

Men tend to date anyone as long as the person is good and they connect well with them
Women tend to have more rigid standards, and disabilities are a big sign of weakness to them
That's actually not true. In many studies men are more likely to leave a disabled or sick spouse than a woman is (same thing with jail, men don't wait while women do at much higher numbers).


I think part of the issue, at lease from when I was dating, is that guys tend to be less upfront about having a problem while women will let it be known from the get go. I would also bet however if you polled women with disabilities you would find they have just as hard a time dating as you do.


I think it also depends on the disability and the type of woman. I think "soft" disabilities are more difficult than, say, the loss of a leg, especially if the person isn't upfront about it, because often the person just comes off as odd and not disabled.


But the type of person, too. Amy Schumer didn't care that her husband was odd because she has a sense of humor that suits being with someone odd...i.e. she is kind of weird herself. If he set his sights on J-Lo it might not have worked out the same way. I think women are more likely to date men who they feel suit them well, while men still choose the prettiest girl they think they can get.
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Old Today, 03:28 PM
 
791 posts, read 362,817 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
That's actually not true. In many studies men are more likely to leave a disabled or sick spouse than a woman is (same thing with jail, men don't wait while women do at much higher numbers).


I think part of the issue, at lease from when I was dating, is that guys tend to be less upfront about having a problem while women will let it be known from the get go. I would also bet however if you polled women with disabilities you would find they have just as hard a time dating as you do.


I think it also depends on the disability and the type of woman. I think "soft" disabilities are more difficult than, say, the loss of a leg, especially if the person isn't upfront about it, because often the person just comes off as odd and not disabled.


But the type of person, too. Amy Schumer didn't care that her husband was odd because she has a sense of humor that suits being with someone odd...i.e. she is kind of weird herself. If he set his sights on J-Lo it might not have worked out the same way. I think women are more likely to date men who they feel suit them well, while men still choose the prettiest girl they think they can get.
Also, I could be wrong but when guys are with a girl with a disability it seems more likely that its because he fetishizes that disability.

I've seen this especially with psychological disorders, guys who have a thing for borderline, bipolar, dissociative identity, or autistic women. The desire to control is a factor, and they think these women will be easier to control.

There may be women who fetishize as well, but the impression is women are ususlly more compassionate, nurturing. The attraction is more likely to come from that than wanting to control someone perceived as weaker.
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Old Today, 04:43 PM
 
2,240 posts, read 1,749,564 times
Reputation: 2876
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428 View Post
I'll say it again.

Women with disabilities, autism, etc will generally have no issues in terms of dating as long as you don't let yourself go

Men with disabilities, autism, etc are in a much tougher situation.

Men tend to date anyone as long as the person is good and they connect well with them
Women tend to have more rigid standards, and disabilities are a big sign of weakness to them
I'm not so sure. You may see both genders seem more picky on OLD because I think things can be more impersonal and checklist on there. But reflecting on the old saying "good guys" finish last, I think half are women.
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