U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old Yesterday, 07:17 AM
 
1,068 posts, read 669,323 times
Reputation: 3232

Advertisements

Judging by the types of questions you've posted here for a long time, it seems like moving away from your only support system would be the worst idea in the world for you. You're exactly the type of person who would get easily targeted by scam artists, and they are everywhere. Online, in person, when you try to buy something, when you try to sell something, when you try to find work, when you try to find a place to live, and everywhere. I have a very close friend who just got scammed out of $2500 when she took a job as a "personal assistant" to someone who was a scammer. Scams are everywhere and you'll end up a victim too if you do this. It would just be a matter of time.

 
Old Yesterday, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,643 posts, read 24,236,879 times
Reputation: 49188
How long have you been with your girlfriend? You want to move across the country without discussing her moving out there with you? Why do you think she would want to be long-distance rather than breaking up?

Last edited by fleetiebelle; Yesterday at 08:16 AM..
 
Old Yesterday, 09:21 AM
 
20,775 posts, read 16,738,864 times
Reputation: 38989
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I am heavily thinking of moving to Vancouver to advance my potential career in filmmaking but my family and gf keep trying to talk me out of it. They love me, but they say they tell me I won't be able to do it cause I am autistic, and you don't know anything about living in the big city, and industry will eat me and all my money alive, etc etc.

I feel that they are trying to talk me out of it so much that maybe I should just act like I am not moving and secretly and discretely move there, without them even knowing, and then once I have moved, just send them a email and explain that I had to without telling them, just so I could do it, without them driving me more crazy about it.

Then tell me gf that I love her and that if she still wants to be in a relationship with me, I am completely willing to, long distance. She said that it won't work if I do but I am still willing to.

I know it's crazy, but does it sound like the best idea, given that they are making any moving, more difficult for me?
I think they’re right. Also it’s not a plan to just move there without anything lined up ahead of time. If you could get a job and a movie industry where you could actually learn the trade while getting paid, then you could show your parents that you have something you’re going to. But you don’t just move to a strange expensive city and then see what you can find. I know you want to move there because you people of told you you have to to learn moviemaking, but what is your exact specific plan to learn moviemaking once you get there? Going to have to be mentored by someone, correct? If not what’s the point? And if so you can arrange that as well as a place to live ahead of time and then you have a plan to show your parents and your girlfriend. Moving to a strange city with no job and no place to live lined up is simply foolish.

Person who talks about all the scammers is correct. It is hard even for people who are not autistic. I am not autistic, and the first time I ever went to New York City at age 18, I lost $100 on the bus to a scammer playing three card Monty.
 
Old Yesterday, 11:20 AM
Lou
 
280 posts, read 112,930 times
Reputation: 433
Do you see a professional therapist for your autism or anything else? If you do, you should schedule an appointment and discuss this with the therapist.
 
Old Yesterday, 11:40 AM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
Reputation: 1442
Okay thanks. Well the thing about having a secured job there, is that people do not want to hire a person for a job if they don't live in that city, so I have to move their first, before they will hire me. It seems like a paradox, but what do you do, when faced with a paradox?

I was told by others that I should go out there and get on sets to learn and make connections. Other filmmakers said if you don't do it, then it won't happen. I've tried learning here, where am I at, but it seems like dead ends, and other filmmakers said there are way more opportunities out there. Half the students from the film school course I took, in my class, went out there, so there must be a reason for doing it.

Also, I talked to a therapist, and he said I am never going to happy, if I stay in this bubble, and I need to accomplish the goal, or I will always be wondering what if, and regret it. And I don't want that of course, since I have been feeling that way for the past few years now, and still haven't done it. As for having minimal skills and education in production, I was told on by others, even on here, that I should move out there to get those skills. So I am following the advice, of what others said on here before too, so is that bad?

But yes, if I move I will tell them then, it's just they are really stressing me out about it and making it as difficult as possible. Of course I know they care and they mean well for me, I just feel I can't have that much stress with it.

Quote:
..And they are right. You live in a fantasy world. You constantly ask questions that are just common sense to most people. You constantly need others to explain to you simple basics. You are not independent as you think you are, not to say that you have zero skills and education. Where you want to live and work? Remember, work makes you tired and you can't hold a job for long without having serious issues with it and your supervisors.
Moving from a small city where everyone knows you and understands your special needs, indulge your behavior, where you live your sheltered life in your parents home, where you have GF who supports you, to a big city will terrify you. It will eat your savings in no time. You will meet strangers that will take advantage of your gullibility and no friends or family to ask for help or advice.

You have minimal skills and education, especially in film production. Year after a year you ask the same questions "how to do this", "how to do that", "please explain the plot" etc. over and over again. You are writting your script for four years already asking questions and needing reassurance about every line. You are not ready to actually make anything other than assist and watch, and I am pretty sure in a big city like Vancouver there are plenty of people who can do it better, and most likely free - for the experience.

You need medical supervision by doctors who know your medical history and you need to follow their instructions.

I would be more open to that idea if you were moving to Vancouver with your GF and have secured a job. She could take care of you and talk you out of some of your crazy ideas. But you are complaining and badmouthing her instead of appreciating.

I seriously don't think you are mature enough to live by yourself. You lack daily living common sense and you don't have self-criticism. Due to your mental disability you don't even understand why this isn't a good idea.

Sorry for being blunt, although I don't think you will find it helpful.
As for not being able to hold a job and quitting it, I only did that once though, with the one job with the problem of the employees not being able to have access to a bathroom and it was bad for my bladder and I didn't want to do deal with the health issues anymore, so I quit the one, but just because I did this for one job, that doesn't mean I do this in general with jobs.

Last edited by ironpony; Yesterday at 11:49 AM..
 
Old Yesterday, 11:58 AM
 
20,775 posts, read 16,738,864 times
Reputation: 38989
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Okay thanks. Well the thing about having a secured job there, is that people do not want to hire a person for a job if they don't live in that city, so I have to move their first, before they will hire me. It seems like a paradox, but what do you do, when faced with a paradox?

I was told by others that I should go out there and get on sets to learn and make connections. Other filmmakers said if you don't do it, then it won't happen. I've tried learning here, where am I at, but it seems like dead ends, and other filmmakers said there are way more opportunities out there. Half the students from the film school course I took, in my class, went out there, so there must be a reason for doing it.

Also, I talked to a therapist, and he said I am never going to happy, if I stay in this bubble, and I need to accomplish the goal, or I will always be wondering what if, and regret it. And I don't want that of course, since I have been feeling that way for the past few years now, and still haven't done it. As for having minimal skills and education in production, I was told on by others, even on here, that I should move out there to get those skills. So I am following the advice, of what others said on here before too, so is that bad?

You can't just walk into a studio. You will need to talk to these people BEFORE you get there. Write to producers, directors, tell them what you're trying to do. Ask them ahead of time if you can learn on their set. Ask them if you can be a helper, paid or unpaid. You can't possibly believe you can just get there and go to a studio do you?


Have you looked into the jobs there and see if you even qualify for anything with openings? Have you seen what the jobs you might qualify for pay, and if it's enough to live there? Have you researched what parts of the city are safe and you can afford? Have you bothered to see if this is feasible financially without spending your savings?

You can't get your family to back you because you have no real plan. You think you can just go and wing it. You will fail miserably if you don't have it planned to the hilt, and you need to do that before you even think about moving.

I feel like you think you're going to get there and there are going to be all these doors for you to get on movie sets, learn the business, etc. There are certainly more movie making opportunities in Hollywood then Milwaukee, but if I get on a plane and go to Hollywood I will not be any closer to those opportunities in any way but geographically. I can't get there and just go knock on studio doors.


Just like Hollywood, Vancouver will have more movie makers, and more jobs in movies, but they will also have 50 times as many people vying for those opportunities. People with experience, degrees, Youtube channels, a body of Shorts. They are all trying to get to the same movie makers. They are all willing to work for nothing to get experience and connections. I feel like you're very naive in your planning for this. You're not going to just learn from osmosis. If you can't get an opportunity by writing these people, from right where you are, it's not going to be any different in person.

Let's see your detailed step by step plan, for housing, jobs, connections to the movie industry, competing to get access to mentors with people with film degrees, etc, etc. Before you even think about packing a single box. Or you will fail miserably.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Iowa
166 posts, read 35,267 times
Reputation: 251
OP, instead of blaming the people who care about you for "making it difficult" for you to leave them, maybe you should start asking how you can be a better boyfriend, son, friend, etc. I'm sure you could do something nice for your gf today. Your post is all about you, not your relationship.

If your career plan is leading you to a paradox, IMO you need a different career and a new plan. But that's a topic for another thread.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Canada
223 posts, read 112,339 times
Reputation: 763
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I was told by others that I should go out there and get on sets to learn and make connections.
Are you hoping to just walk onto a film set and connect with people working on it? Good luck with that!!

Have you done any research on job availability in the film industry in Vancouver (rather than going by what people tell you)?

Have you any idea how expensive Vancouver is? I recommend you take a look here: https://www.expatistan.com/cost-of-living/vancouver

If you're still hell bent on going there, why not go for say a week to get the lay of the land and job opportunities?
 
Old Yesterday, 12:11 PM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
Reputation: 1442
Oh okay, well I asked before on this thread and thought I would take some of the advice here on how to live there:

How do people with low paying jobs afford to live in costly cities?

I talked to a guy here who has connections in the business, and he said that the company out there, he has connections to, through filmmaking work are starving for crew right now, and since I have boom op experience from working on other people's movies here, I be a boom op, and he can help me get in with that company if I would like, or so he says. I also have connections with a student from my class, and she said she would help me try to get a job with people she knows out there as well. However, when talking to both of them their attitude is that so many people are looking for crew out there it's ridiculous and I won't have trouble finding a crew job, cause they are all over the place, looking for new crew, or that is what they say at least, but I don't see why they would lie about that, if that's true.

But if there are a lot of other competition out there, am I better off just trying to break into the film industry from where I am now then, location wise, or what?

As for having a step by step plan, I would have to talk to the two I know first who said they could help get me in, and then come up with the plan, I just feel I should be ready to go and move, after telling them.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:38 PM
 
1,838 posts, read 535,426 times
Reputation: 2291
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Oh okay, well I asked before on this thread and thought I would take some of the advice here on how to live there:

How do people with low paying jobs afford to live in costly cities?

I talked to a guy here who has connections in the business, and he said that the company out there, he has connections to, through filmmaking work are starving for crew right now, and since I have boom op experience from working on other people's movies here, I be a boom op, and he can help me get in with that company if I would like, or so he says. I also have connections with a student from my class, and she said she would help me try to get a job with people she knows out there as well. However, when talking to both of them their attitude is that so many people are looking for crew out there it's ridiculous and I won't have trouble finding a crew job, cause they are all over the place, looking for new crew, or that is what they say at least, but I don't see why they would lie about that, if that's true.

But if there are a lot of other competition out there, am I better off just trying to break into the film industry from where I am now then, location wise, or what?

As for having a step by step plan, I would have to talk to the two I know first who said they could help get me in, and then come up with the plan, I just feel I should be ready to go and move, after telling them.
Youre banking all this on getting paid right away. What if you dont? How will you live?
You cant afford to move to a city.
Will you have a car to get to work? Is there public transport?
Will you be able to get a different job to pay the rent in the meantime?
Have you even looked at available apartments yet?
Do you have any money to go out there in the first place?

If you ask for job hookups, its likely they wont be available by the time you settle into a place. You have to secure that first.

You should be trying harder to get experience where you are, then take THAT experience to Toronto.
And how do you know your disabilities wont get in the way of filmmaking jobs in Toronto? How will you get around that?

You need a serious plan.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top