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Old Today, 02:21 AM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
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I am heavily thinking of moving to Vancouver to advance my potential career in filmmaking but my family and gf keep trying to talk me out of it. They love me, but they say they tell me I won't be able to do it cause I am autistic, and you don't know anything about living in the big city, and industry will eat me and all my money alive, etc etc.

I feel that they are trying to talk me out of it so much that maybe I should just act like I am not moving and secretly and discretely move there, without them even knowing, and then once I have moved, just send them a email and explain that I had to without telling them, just so I could do it, without them driving me more crazy about it.

Then tell me gf that I love her and that if she still wants to be in a relationship with me, I am completely willing to, long distance. She said that it won't work if I do but I am still willing to.

I know it's crazy, but does it sound like the best idea, given that they are making any moving, more difficult for me?

 
Old Today, 03:55 AM
 
12,355 posts, read 13,624,631 times
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So, you want to leave your support system and fend for yourself?

Unless you have a great job offer I would tell you it’s not a good idea.
 
Old Today, 05:18 AM
 
1,230 posts, read 1,232,142 times
Reputation: 529
You shouldn't lie to your family or your gf. I know why you're thinking that. If you can't tell them the truth and make such a move on your own, then you definitely shouldn't be moving out on your own like that.

Being in a relationship is about good communication in addition to learning how to properly fend for yourself and be with your family. It's a difficult balance that is different for everyone.
 
Old Today, 05:22 AM
 
1,019 posts, read 336,114 times
Reputation: 1689
Sure, if you want to damage your relationships.

But if you are convinced that this would be a good move for you, then make the move. You'll never know if you don't try! (although I'd suggest telling your friends and family).
 
Old Today, 05:25 AM
 
Location: Tyler, TX
241 posts, read 547,910 times
Reputation: 103
NO! Talk to someone. Almost everyone will be hurt with this plan.
 
Old Today, 05:58 AM
 
12,447 posts, read 9,963,829 times
Reputation: 16115
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I am heavily thinking of moving to Vancouver to advance my potential career in filmmaking but my family and gf keep trying to talk me out of it. They love me, but they say they tell me I won't be able to do it cause I am autistic, and you don't know anything about living in the big city, and industry will eat me and all my money alive, etc etc.

I feel that they are trying to talk me out of it so much that maybe I should just act like I am not moving and secretly and discretely move there, without them even knowing, and then once I have moved, just send them a email and explain that I had to without telling them, just so I could do it, without them driving me more crazy about it.

Then tell me gf that I love her and that if she still wants to be in a relationship with me, I am completely willing to, long distance. She said that it won't work if I do but I am still willing to.

I know it's crazy, but does it sound like the best idea, given that they are making any moving, more difficult for me?
No. If it is what you are going to do, do it completely openly and let the chips fall where they may.
 
Old Today, 06:28 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,199 posts, read 56,011,070 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I am heavily thinking of moving to Vancouver to advance my potential career in filmmaking but my family and gf keep trying to talk me out of it. They love me, but they say they tell me I won't be able to do it cause I am autistic, and you don't know anything about living in the big city, and industry will eat me and all my money alive, etc etc.

I feel that they are trying to talk me out of it so much

...And they are right. You live in a fantasy world. You constantly ask questions that are just common sense to most people. You constantly need others to explain to you simple basics. You are not independent as you think you are, not to say that you have zero skills and education. Where you want to live and work? Remember, work makes you tired and you can't hold a job for long without having serious issues with it and your supervisors.
Moving from a small city where everyone knows you and understands your special needs, indulge your behavior, where you live your sheltered life in your parents home, where you have GF who supports you, to a big city will terrify you. It will eat your savings in no time. You will meet strangers that will take advantage of your gullibility and no friends or family to ask for help or advice.

You have minimal skills and education, especially in film production. Year after a year you ask the same questions "how to do this", "how to do that", "please explain the plot" etc. over and over again. You are writting your script for four years already asking questions and needing reassurance about every line. You are not ready to actually make anything other than assist and watch, and I am pretty sure in a big city like Vancouver there are plenty of people who can do it better, and most likely free - for the experience.

You need medical supervision by doctors who know your medical history and you need to follow their instructions.

I would be more open to that idea if you were moving to Vancouver with your GF and have secured a job. She could take care of you and talk you out of some of your crazy ideas. But you are complaining and badmouthing her instead of appreciating.

I seriously don't think you are mature enough to live by yourself. You lack daily living common sense and you don't have self-criticism. Due to your mental disability you don't even understand why this isn't a good idea.

Sorry for being blunt, although I don't think you will find it helpful.
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Old Today, 06:47 AM
 
2,158 posts, read 1,706,607 times
Reputation: 2690
As was just said in a way more articulate way in previous post: I think people will take advantage of you until you have nothing left to take. Keep your support network.
 
Old Today, 06:58 AM
 
1,220 posts, read 1,359,720 times
Reputation: 1921
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
...And they are right. You live in a fantasy world. You constantly ask questions that are just common sense to most people. You constantly need others to explain to you simple basics. You are not independent as you think you are, not to say that you have zero skills and education. Where you want to live and work? Remember, work makes you tired and you can't hold a job for long without having serious issues with it and your supervisors.
Moving from a small city where everyone knows you and understands your special needs, indulge your behavior, where you live your sheltered life in your parents home, where you have GF who supports you, to a big city will terrify you. It will eat your savings in no time. You will meet strangers that will take advantage of your gullibility and no friends or family to ask for help or advice.

You have minimal skills and education, especially in film production. Year after a year you ask the same questions "how to do this", "how to do that", "please explain the plot" etc. over and over again. You are writting your script for four years already asking questions and needing reassurance about every line. You are not ready to actually make anything other than assist and watch, and I am pretty sure in a big city like Vancouver there are plenty of people who can do it better, and most likely free - for the experience.

You need medical supervision by doctors who know your medical history and you need to follow their instructions.

I would be more open to that idea if you were moving to Vancouver with your GF and have secured a job. She could take care of you and talk you out of some of your crazy ideas. But you are complaining and badmouthing her instead of appreciating.

I seriously don't think you are mature enough to live by yourself. You lack daily living common sense and you don't have self-criticism. Due to your mental disability you don't even understand why this isn't a good idea.

Sorry for being blunt, although I don't think you will find it helpful.

Op, the above advice is to the point and perfectly stated. I suggest that you print and read the post over and over until you can actually see what is stated in the post. Moving to another city/state alone without family or gf support would be hard for anyone. Please reconsider and stay close to your support system.
 
Old Today, 07:00 AM
 
1,220 posts, read 1,359,720 times
Reputation: 1921
Ironpony, to simply answer your question, NO, NO, and NO.
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