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Old Yesterday, 06:16 PM
 
976 posts, read 272,572 times
Reputation: 2708

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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
but I ultimately want to find a guy who wants a relationship with me.
Being friends with one man doesn't keep you from finding one to be in a relationship with. You're not limited to only interacting with one man in your life at a time. It seems like you're saying you're not willing to be friends with men, and I'm not sure why this is, unless you're afraid that any potential significant other is going to have a problem with you having male friends...


Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
I know, that's the reason i highlighted that specific quote from her.
She said "they didnt see eye-to-eye on alot of stuff". I took that to mean, in context, she had little in common with him. It's harder to be friends or bf/gf if you don't see eye to eye on most things.
True, though it's possible that what they didn't see eye to eye on were things like whether to get married, whether to have kids, whether to buy or rent, how much each should work, which way the toilet paper should hang, etc., rather than basic compatibility things that would preclude friendship rather than just a relationship.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Enlisting as an older service member is a negative? The man is 33 and wants to serve. If he can he should. Maybe ppl shouldn't go back to college, have a career change, or have kids at "the upper age limit" either.
Well, it is if you're past the age cutoff for the branch you want to join, which is what the post you're replying to was pointing out. And it's a negative for a friendship if the clock is ticking for you to hurry up and sign up and hence leave (which is also what the post you're replying to was pointing out).
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Old Yesterday, 08:04 PM
 
307 posts, read 129,760 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Enlisting as an older service member is a negative? The man is 33 and wants to serve. If he can he should. Maybe ppl shouldn't go back to college, have a career change, or have kids at "the upper age limit" either.
He's signing up for the Air Force where the age limit was recently changed to 39. I think it's awesome he's serving But he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship during all this. And the training involves 1.5 years of living in various places anyway.
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Old Yesterday, 08:53 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,093 posts, read 8,398,962 times
Reputation: 11597
I wouldn't bother. I had a guy I was dating tell me he would be moving at some point so he didn't want us to continue romantically but we could be friends. I passed.
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Old Yesterday, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Middle America
36,786 posts, read 42,092,427 times
Reputation: 50751
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Enlisting as an older service member is a negative? The man is 33 and wants to serve. If he can he should. Maybe ppl shouldn't go back to college, have a career change, or have kids at "the upper age limit" either.
Not at all.

My husband enlisted at 28, almost 29.

I got my graduate degree at 42. For a major career change.

None of that is a negative, IMO.

My point was simply that if he is 33 and joining, he is going to be doing it soon, as time is running short. Given the context of the original post, his training will likely not be local. He is going to be gone soon, so striking up a "friendship"at this point would likely be a moot point, as he is about to move (if she were even interested in pursuing a friendship at all, which she has stated that she is not). and if she chooses not to, there isn't going to be awkwardness where she is running into the ex out and about, etc.
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Old Yesterday, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Middle America
36,786 posts, read 42,092,427 times
Reputation: 50751
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
He's signing up for the Air Force where the age limit was recently changed to 39. I think it's awesome he's serving But he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship during all this. And the training involves 1.5 years of living in various places anyway.
So will the career after training, assuming he is looking at long-term active duty.
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Old Yesterday, 10:48 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 368,093 times
Reputation: 3873
I think the fact you are asking here for advice on it means you have qualms about it. I think that means you should give it a pass. I had lunch a few times with my ex husband. We had an amicable break up. I wish him well, but I don't look him up on Facebook. There's no real point in staying friends with exes unless there are children involved. Not staying friends doesn't mean any animosity. It is just moving on.
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Old Yesterday, 11:03 PM
 
307 posts, read 129,760 times
Reputation: 346
Yeah the more I think about it Iím wondering why he wants to meet up at all. He doesnít want to get back together. I told him Iím not interested in any kind of hooking up but he probably still thinks thereís a small chance. Who knows!
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Old Yesterday, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Middle America
36,786 posts, read 42,092,427 times
Reputation: 50751
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
Yeah the more I think about it Iím wondering why he wants to meet up at all. He doesnít want to get back together. I told him Iím not interested in any kind of hooking up but he probably still thinks thereís a small chance. Who knows!
I'd say it's reasonably likely.
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Old Today, 06:32 AM
 
10,479 posts, read 4,189,808 times
Reputation: 26496
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
He's signing up for the Air Force where the age limit was recently changed to 39. I think it's awesome he's serving But he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship during all this. And the training involves 1.5 years of living in various places anyway.
He's basically taking himself out of the market as husband and father potential. Painting himself in a corner - parking his car and throwing the keys into the woods.

I don't know how much "catching up" there is to do with a relationship that lasted 4-5 months and was over last month.

If you're looking to find husband material, keep looking. They're out there!
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Old Today, 07:52 AM
 
119 posts, read 22,472 times
Reputation: 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
He's signing up for the Air Force where the age limit was recently changed to 39. I think it's awesome he's serving But he's made it clear he doesn't want a relationship during all this. And the training involves 1.5 years of living in various places anyway.
I think it's awesome too. I was 6 years younger than him when I enlisted (Army). Definitely wouldn't have done it at 33, but the Air Force (i can only assume) has different physical requirements. Now, if you said he was going to the Marines (they accept age waivers) i would say he was NUTS lol. Regardless, i think what he's doing is a good thing and i whole heartedly disagree with the contrary. You can apply the same "Age limit" argument to alot things people do anyway bc they simply want to (late mother/fathethood, starting a new business, college later in life)

As far as him not wanting a relationship, then don't waste your time. Too many guys who actually want to be in one to bother with one who doesn't.
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