U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 07-28-2019, 03:33 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,703 posts, read 4,929,021 times
Reputation: 12683

Advertisements

Meh I have a different take on the situation. Her "fidgetiness" could be due to her simply being nervous around a group of professionals. I know when I interned with people in a professional field and trained under them, I'd get nervous and do "stupid" things out of nervous excitement and fear of being judged. So that's always a possibility. I'm also able to have conversations with just about anyone and can get people to open up easily. And it would not mean a thing other than doing something to pass the time. But you seem pretty certain this girl may be interested (although that could be your own perception being clouded by your attraction to her). In any case, I echo what someone else said. Just give her your card and ask her to keep in touch. But don't get your hopes and focus more on people who are single.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-28-2019, 07:05 PM
 
319 posts, read 101,387 times
Reputation: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Meh I have a different take on the situation. Her "fidgetiness" could be due to her simply being nervous around a group of professionals. I know when I interned with people in a professional field and trained under them, I'd get nervous and do "stupid" things out of nervous excitement and fear of being judged. So that's always a possibility. I'm also able to have conversations with just about anyone and can get people to open up easily. And it would not mean a thing other than doing something to pass the time. But you seem pretty certain this girl may be interested (although that could be your own perception being clouded by your attraction to her). In any case, I echo what someone else said. Just give her your card and ask her to keep in touch. But don't get your hopes and focus more on people who are single.
This.

But on the other hand, if we are to speculate, she could be very interested in you - a young woman checking out the next boyfriend before she leaves the current one.

Give her your card- she may use a career question as an excuse to contact you. Or she may not contact at all. This is how you'll know. Put the ball in her court and invite her to call if she needs anything. . .
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 07:12 PM
 
11,392 posts, read 2,823,666 times
Reputation: 5236
This intense chemistry could be one way. Stalkers feel they have intense chemistry with someone who may not even notice them.

It could also be astrological. Certain aspects between charts.

I agree with others who have said to give her your card and say keep in touch. Then let it go.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 07:30 PM
 
8,194 posts, read 6,058,202 times
Reputation: 5823
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ View Post
There's a student who shadowed me (I'm 30, she's 23) on Friday. She's leaving us on Wednesday (she was only with us for a week, this is my first time meeting her). We had the most intense chemistry and connection i've ever experienced with a woman. I was married and have dated multiple woman since my divorce and none of my dates were even remotely close to the connection I had with this woman. We worked together for about 8 hours and it felt like we had known each other for years. I honestly don't even remember seeing anyone else in the entire 8 hours that we worked together. We had deep conversations about life, general interests, we dug deep. She was constantly fidgety around me, walking into walls, kept apologizing when she would act or say something dumb, strong eye contact, smiling at me a lot we interacted with a lot of playful bantering. Even when we were interviewing patients and she was at the computer, she'd keep looking back at me and smiling. She said that when she first meets people she can figure them out almost immediately but she cannot figure me out and it's a first for her. She said more than once that I'm such a pure and inspiring person and I'm rare. She was constantly asking me questions about myself

At one point when we were sitting down, she removed her lab coat and was exposing her legs and her arms/collar bone toward. She was wearing a pretty revealing dress. When we were depating, we shook hands, bantered some more and she was lingering around in the breakroom and was opening and closing all of the drawers while we were talking and laughed, blushed and said that she has no idea what shes doing. I just smiled at her and told her to have a nice weekend, laughed some more and she left.

One Problem:

She has a boyfriend of 3 years.

I'll see her on Tuesday and Wednesday but she won't be shadowing me. Should I create an opportunity to let her know that if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, she should give me a call or just let it go?
It' s better to let this one go. If you want something temporary, then feel free to wait and enjoy your turn. But remember, how you get her is how you lose her. She is going to do the same to you.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-29-2019, 12:02 PM
 
1,947 posts, read 829,169 times
Reputation: 2133
Invite her to lunch as "friends."
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-29-2019, 12:10 PM
 
7,469 posts, read 11,617,136 times
Reputation: 8307
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ View Post
There's a student who shadowed me (I'm 30, she's 23) on Friday. She's leaving us on Wednesday (she was only with us for a week, this is my first time meeting her). We had the most intense chemistry and connection i've ever experienced with a woman. I was married and have dated multiple woman since my divorce and none of my dates were even remotely close to the connection I had with this woman. We worked together for about 8 hours and it felt like we had known each other for years. I honestly don't even remember seeing anyone else in the entire 8 hours that we worked together. We had deep conversations about life, general interests, we dug deep. She was constantly fidgety around me, walking into walls, kept apologizing when she would act or say something dumb, strong eye contact, smiling at me a lot we interacted with a lot of playful bantering. Even when we were interviewing patients and she was at the computer, she'd keep looking back at me and smiling. She said that when she first meets people she can figure them out almost immediately but she cannot figure me out and it's a first for her. She said more than once that I'm such a pure and inspiring person and I'm rare. She was constantly asking me questions about myself

At one point when we were sitting down, she removed her lab coat and was exposing her legs and her arms/collar bone toward. She was wearing a pretty revealing dress. When we were depating, we shook hands, bantered some more and she was lingering around in the breakroom and was opening and closing all of the drawers while we were talking and laughed, blushed and said that she has no idea what shes doing. I just smiled at her and told her to have a nice weekend, laughed some more and she left.

One Problem:

She has a boyfriend of 3 years.

I'll see her on Tuesday and Wednesday but she won't be shadowing me. Should I create an opportunity to let her know that if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, she should give me a call or just let it go?
If you really have balls and want to let it ride, you could tell her that you thought we 'had a connection' and that if you want to keep in touch, we should.

You never know, she could be in an unhappy relationship.

I would say 80% chance she did not feel that way, 19% chance she may have felt a tinge but is committed to her boyfriend and you'll never date, and maybe 1% chance of 'other'.

But, if you have nothing to lose...
Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:23 AM
 
106 posts, read 593,590 times
Reputation: 85
Offer to exchange numbers in case she has any questions or needs advice. Don't elude to any connection.
If you don't hear from her in a couple weeks, maybe text her a simple "hey hope things are going well for you".
If it dead ends then that feeling was probably one-way.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:28 AM
 
Location: PA
789 posts, read 403,339 times
Reputation: 1274
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ View Post
There's a student who shadowed me (I'm 30, she's 23) on Friday. She's leaving us on Wednesday (she was only with us for a week, this is my first time meeting her). We had the most intense chemistry and connection i've ever experienced with a woman. I was married and have dated multiple woman since my divorce and none of my dates were even remotely close to the connection I had with this woman. We worked together for about 8 hours and it felt like we had known each other for years. I honestly don't even remember seeing anyone else in the entire 8 hours that we worked together. We had deep conversations about life, general interests, we dug deep. She was constantly fidgety around me, walking into walls, kept apologizing when she would act or say something dumb, strong eye contact, smiling at me a lot we interacted with a lot of playful bantering. Even when we were interviewing patients and she was at the computer, she'd keep looking back at me and smiling. She said that when she first meets people she can figure them out almost immediately but she cannot figure me out and it's a first for her. She said more than once that I'm such a pure and inspiring person and I'm rare. She was constantly asking me questions about myself

At one point when we were sitting down, she removed her lab coat and was exposing her legs and her arms/collar bone toward. She was wearing a pretty revealing dress. When we were depating, we shook hands, bantered some more and she was lingering around in the breakroom and was opening and closing all of the drawers while we were talking and laughed, blushed and said that she has no idea what shes doing. I just smiled at her and told her to have a nice weekend, laughed some more and she left.

One Problem:

She has a boyfriend of 3 years.

I'll see her on Tuesday and Wednesday but she won't be shadowing me. Should I create an opportunity to let her know that if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, she should give me a call or just let it go?
I would use the old - too bad you have a boyfriend i think you are great line. That will give you the answer you are looking for.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,555 posts, read 8,204,130 times
Reputation: 5275
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
But can we trust that the OP is a reliable narrator of this story? He feels this intense connection to a young women he's worked professionally with for a week. There's not necessarily a sign that she's being anything but eager and enthusiastic about the job to get a good write-up.
Good point too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
Invite her to lunch as "friends."
NO, don't start doing that. Do you want to go down that path of her possibly cheating on her longtime BF? That means she may do the same to you someday when you start dating her. Why put yourself in any positions to possibly be the "other man".
Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 04:06 PM
 
5,542 posts, read 2,346,397 times
Reputation: 16608
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ View Post
There's a student who shadowed me (I'm 30, she's 23) on Friday. She's leaving us on Wednesday (she was only with us for a week, this is my first time meeting her). We had the most intense chemistry and connection i've ever experienced with a woman. I was married and have dated multiple woman since my divorce and none of my dates were even remotely close to the connection I had with this woman. We worked together for about 8 hours and it felt like we had known each other for years. I honestly don't even remember seeing anyone else in the entire 8 hours that we worked together. We had deep conversations about life, general interests, we dug deep. She was constantly fidgety around me, walking into walls, kept apologizing when she would act or say something dumb, strong eye contact, smiling at me a lot we interacted with a lot of playful bantering. Even when we were interviewing patients and she was at the computer, she'd keep looking back at me and smiling. She said that when she first meets people she can figure them out almost immediately but she cannot figure me out and it's a first for her. She said more than once that I'm such a pure and inspiring person and I'm rare. She was constantly asking me questions about myself

At one point when we were sitting down, she removed her lab coat and was exposing her legs and her arms/collar bone toward. She was wearing a pretty revealing dress. When we were depating, we shook hands, bantered some more and she was lingering around in the breakroom and was opening and closing all of the drawers while we were talking and laughed, blushed and said that she has no idea what shes doing. I just smiled at her and told her to have a nice weekend, laughed some more and she left.

One Problem:

She has a boyfriend of 3 years.

I'll see her on Tuesday and Wednesday but she won't be shadowing me. Should I create an opportunity to let her know that if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, she should give me a call or just let it go?

Well, she's giving you all the buy signals.

Do you really want to end your career? That can happen if you make one wrong move here. Only when she is done shadowing you and her professional involvement with you and your employer is over, and only then, should you extend an invitation. Until then, it's by the book.

And who cares about the boyfriend? If your account is truly accurate and if she was all that into him, she wouldn't be relentlessly flirting with you.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top