U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 07-28-2019, 08:49 AM
 
22 posts, read 4,643 times
Reputation: 18

Advertisements

There's a student who shadowed me (I'm 30, she's 23) on Friday. She's leaving us on Wednesday (she was only with us for a week, this is my first time meeting her). We had the most intense chemistry and connection i've ever experienced with a woman. I was married and have dated multiple woman since my divorce and none of my dates were even remotely close to the connection I had with this woman. We worked together for about 8 hours and it felt like we had known each other for years. I honestly don't even remember seeing anyone else in the entire 8 hours that we worked together. We had deep conversations about life, general interests, we dug deep. She was constantly fidgety around me, walking into walls, kept apologizing when she would act or say something dumb, strong eye contact, smiling at me a lot we interacted with a lot of playful bantering. Even when we were interviewing patients and she was at the computer, she'd keep looking back at me and smiling. She said that when she first meets people she can figure them out almost immediately but she cannot figure me out and it's a first for her. She said more than once that I'm such a pure and inspiring person and I'm rare. She was constantly asking me questions about myself

At one point when we were sitting down, she removed her lab coat and was exposing her legs and her arms/collar bone toward. She was wearing a pretty revealing dress. When we were depating, we shook hands, bantered some more and she was lingering around in the breakroom and was opening and closing all of the drawers while we were talking and laughed, blushed and said that she has no idea what shes doing. I just smiled at her and told her to have a nice weekend, laughed some more and she left.

One Problem:

She has a boyfriend of 3 years.

I'll see her on Tuesday and Wednesday but she won't be shadowing me. Should I create an opportunity to let her know that if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, she should give me a call or just let it go?
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-28-2019, 09:07 AM
 
538 posts, read 99,718 times
Reputation: 1052
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ View Post
Should I create an opportunity to let her know that if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, she should give me a call?
Sure, why not?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,555 posts, read 8,204,130 times
Reputation: 5275
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Sure, why not?
^ I agree. No harm in doing that, but her flirtiness & giddiness around you when she has a BF of 3 yrs would worry me. I'd wonder if she's like that every time she meets a new guy. 3 yrs dating is about time to get engaged, but she's still only 23, so she started dating him young. But if she suddenly can go out w/ you quickly afterward, that would worry me too & how she'd be in a relationship w/ you. That means she either:

- broke up w/ him that fast, thus acting hastily

OR

- is cheating on him to see what ti's like to go out w/ you


So don't try to convince her to go out w/ you. Just casually let her know exactly what you said & leave it at that. If you never hear from her again, then oh well.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 02:27 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,899 posts, read 20,217,329 times
Reputation: 12468
Give her your card and tell her to stay in touch.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,654 posts, read 24,253,929 times
Reputation: 49238
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
^ I agree. No harm in doing that, but her flirtiness & giddiness around you when she has a BF of 3 yrs would worry me.
But can we trust that the OP is a reliable narrator of this story? He feels this intense connection to a young women he's worked professionally with for a week. There's not necessarily a sign that she's being anything but eager and enthusiastic about the job to get a good write-up.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,564 posts, read 7,855,292 times
Reputation: 16072
She's good. Yep, she apparently is very good at reading people and managed to read you so well, that now you're thinking about her. She knew you'd respond to her "flirtiness" and knew exactly what to say. She managed to get someone that is in a kind of senior position over her to go a bit goofy over her.

It's always kind of scary to me how well some people are able to manipulate others.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 03:00 PM
 
22 posts, read 4,643 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
She's good. Yep, she apparently is very good at reading people and managed to read you so well, that now you're thinking about her. She knew you'd respond to her "flirtiness" and knew exactly what to say. She managed to get someone that is in a kind of senior position over her to go a bit goofy over her.

It's always kind of scary to me how well some people are able to manipulate others.



Except Iím not her boss and donít report her performance to anyone. All she did was shadow me to see what my role is in the hospital
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,593 posts, read 42,180,745 times
Reputation: 83972
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Give her your card and tell her to stay in touch.
Yep.

Do NOT say anything personal about her boyfriend or your "chemistry" etc.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 03:16 PM
 
22 posts, read 4,643 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Yep.

Do NOT say anything personal about her boyfriend or your "chemistry" etc.
Great advice. I think that put less complications on the situation
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2019, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,564 posts, read 7,855,292 times
Reputation: 16072
Quote:
Originally Posted by NemesisLQ View Post
Except Iím not her boss and donít report her performance to anyone. All she did was shadow me to see what my role is in the hospital
When someone shadows a person in a job, that sets up a boss-employee dynamic whether you choose to recognize it or not. Think of it this way, you know your job well enough that you are in essence showing another person that does not know that job what it's all about.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top