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Old 07-29-2019, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,680 posts, read 33,572,993 times
Reputation: 32474

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Don’t waste anyone’s time by accepting a setup you wouldn’t pursue under other circumstances. I’d be straight up and say I can handle my own dating decisions and don’t need assistance.
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Old 07-29-2019, 02:23 PM
 
861 posts, read 207,778 times
Reputation: 628
you can tell them you can take care of that issue yrself, and "No, Thank You" firmly and consistently. even with good intentions, they don't know yr needs as well as you do, since they haven't lived yr experiences in this area.
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Old 07-29-2019, 05:55 PM
 
3,808 posts, read 3,031,650 times
Reputation: 7665
It's more rude to waste the time of someone whom you have no interest in meeting and getting to know than it is to decline at the outset. You're committed to solitude, so stick to your guns
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Old 07-29-2019, 06:24 PM
 
1,247 posts, read 376,722 times
Reputation: 3971
Just say no to set ups or.......tell the person before you meet them that you are only doing it to make your mother happy and that you aren't seriously looking. That might take the pressure off the other person, too. Maybe it will even be possible to have a good time.
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Old 07-29-2019, 07:57 PM
 
1,899 posts, read 549,372 times
Reputation: 2356
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
I donít. Iím not a game player in the least. I am, however, too much my motherís son and cannot be thought rude by letting people down. This, I suspect, is the only reason the old girl accepted my fatherís proposal.
Who, besides your mother, is going to think youre rude by not letting them set you up with people youre not interested in?
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Old 07-29-2019, 10:04 PM
 
1,223 posts, read 543,468 times
Reputation: 2438
Full disclosure: My mother died almost six years ago and never once raised the possibility of my being with anyone. It was never an issue and still isn’t as far as I’m concerned.

Since the old girl went to meet her maker, my Dad’s side of the family have staged several near interventions about the lack of ‘an appropriate female’ at the Christmas table. It’s common knowledge that I’m averse, if not downright hostile, to any kind of coupled or shared life, but still the hints and awkward introductions continue.

‘Did you call so and so?’ No I didn’t. I might have if I was into drinking the Kool Aid and breeding like rabbits as my cousins do, but I’d far rather go to movies, concerts and the theatre on my own (it’s cheaper), eat like a bachelor and read my life away. It’s how I roll.
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Old 07-29-2019, 10:13 PM
 
Location: California
921 posts, read 253,571 times
Reputation: 2630
I have a rule against being set up by anyone.
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Old 07-29-2019, 10:48 PM
 
14,146 posts, read 7,558,387 times
Reputation: 25902
I’ve been on blind dates a number of times. What’s the big deal? It’s just another way of meeting people.
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Old 07-29-2019, 11:27 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,806 posts, read 10,847,607 times
Reputation: 14308
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
Full disclosure: My mother died almost six years ago and never once raised the possibility of my being with anyone. It was never an issue and still isnít as far as Iím concerned.

Since the old girl went to meet her maker, my Dadís side of the family have staged several near interventions about the lack of Ďan appropriate femaleí at the Christmas table. Itís common knowledge that Iím averse, if not downright hostile, to any kind of coupled or shared life, but still the hints and awkward introductions continue.

ĎDid you call so and so?í No I didnít. I might have if I was into drinking the Kool Aid and breeding like rabbits as my cousins do, but Iíd far rather go to movies, concerts and the theatre on my own (itís cheaper), eat like a bachelor and read my life away. Itís how I roll.
Sounds like you've got it covered.
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Old 07-30-2019, 07:50 AM
 
1,899 posts, read 549,372 times
Reputation: 2356
Youve posted many threads on how you like solitude and dont want a mate. Youve also posted that everyone in your family already knows this.

Why would you feel the need to let it happen if you dont want to be setup?
Are you opening up to the idea that you might really want to start trying people out?

If you let it happen, that might make them think youre open to it, and start fixing you up more.

But usually when people call you out on this stuff you flee the thread, Ive seen your others.

So I wonder what answer youre really looking for. It certainly isnt about how to meet out of politeness, you already know how to do that.

When are you going to admit that you dont know why you were dumped long ago, and youre afraid you will get dumped again and still dont know why? People will help you if you just admit it.

Last edited by Harry Hemi; 07-30-2019 at 08:29 AM..
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