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Old 07-30-2019, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,921 posts, read 12,373,135 times
Reputation: 26520

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We all know youíre longing for love and companionship. Donít have to lie to kick it in here. We all understand
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Old 07-30-2019, 01:49 PM
 
1,689 posts, read 3,623,466 times
Reputation: 1315
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
How do you deal with unwanted setups? I have tried both options in my day and always found meetings as awkward as they are tedious. Itís not the personís fault and I donít blame them. The root of the problem is friends and family who canít accept that Iím single and not looking and foist these people on me because theyíre Ďtrying to help.í Er, no.
Only you can decided how valuable your time is. Once you learn to value your time, then you'll know just how valuable it is and thus stop wasting it.
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Old 07-30-2019, 03:19 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,642 posts, read 40,185,751 times
Reputation: 42068
First world problems.
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Old 07-31-2019, 06:30 PM
 
770 posts, read 454,466 times
Reputation: 675
reject outright unless you already know and are interested or unless you really know and trust the person doing the setting up. 99%of "matchmakers" are horrible at it.
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Old 07-31-2019, 06:35 PM
 
455 posts, read 82,071 times
Reputation: 832
Tell them No. Simple as that.
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Old 07-31-2019, 06:54 PM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,476,387 times
Reputation: 11296
This is a tough one. It really depends on how the woman feels, which you can't know. Some people feel it's better to go on the date at least, and some feel that it's better to reject outright. As I said, you can't know how she would feel, so I think if I were in your position, it would depend on if I had already met her in person or not. If I had met her, then I would go on the date and maybe act like an ass or just very unattractive and maybe she won't want to go out with me again (of course you won't ask her out again either). If I had not met her in person already, I would just reject her outright and not go on the date.
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Old 07-31-2019, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
4,102 posts, read 7,386,052 times
Reputation: 6072
If you truly are not interested in having any sort of romantic relationship with anyone, then you need to grow a pair and simply tell your well meaning relatives that. Repeat as needed. It will take a while (maybe never) to get them to stop, because your attitude is radically different than 98 percent of the population. Most people cannot fathom not being in (or wanting to be in) a romantic partnership with someone else, and that’s why they keep trying to set you up.
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Old 08-01-2019, 09:13 AM
 
6,830 posts, read 2,466,001 times
Reputation: 15672
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
I donít. Iím not a game player in the least. I am, however, too much my motherís son and cannot be thought rude by letting people down. This, I suspect, is the only reason the old girl accepted my fatherís proposal.

You know...I think there might be a nice and friendly way to let the other person down nicely. If you find yourself unexpectedly 'set up' seems like you could tell the girl "OOPS, it seems like (insert name) is at it again and trying to fix my love life. I keep telling them I'm not looking for help, but they don't listen. I'm sorry you've been dragged in to this, but hey, here we are! Let's go grab a cup of coffee and chat!"


It would seem like, in this way, you're letting the lady know that your romantic disinterest has nothing to do with her, and that there's no pressure, so no disappointment for anyone.
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Old 08-01-2019, 01:57 PM
 
522 posts, read 431,225 times
Reputation: 813
Tell whoever is trying to set you up that you are not interested and to mind their own business.
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Old 08-01-2019, 05:22 PM
 
32,587 posts, read 26,535,768 times
Reputation: 19230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hemi View Post
You deal with unwanted setups by telling them NOO. They only dont accept it because youre not forcing them to.

At some point you have to establish boundaries. You either look like the bad guy or keep being the people pleaser, pick one. You tell them if they set you up, youre going to stand the person up. Simple.

this. dont be forced into a date with someone when you are not ready for a date. and tell everyone that is trying to set you up in no uncertain terms that you dont want to be set up for a date, and to stop doing it or you will walk away from them.
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