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Old 08-01-2019, 04:31 PM
 
993 posts, read 279,758 times
Reputation: 2775

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
She was probably set up without her permission or against her wishes. I think it's weird you mentioned how she wasn't that attractive, as if that was a reason for her poor attitude.
Nah, he probably thought she should be grateful that he would talk to her and all. Don't you know, women who aren't pretty enough aren't allowed to have any standards; they should just jump at any man who will have them and thank their lucky stars. *eye roll*


Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I donít think she knew. It wasnít like it was obvious there were tons of people there it wasnít like we were in a corner by ourselves.

Even if she wasnít attracted to me it wasnít like I was flirting with her I was trying to be friendly with someone I was sitting next to someone for 3 hours. Do you only talk to people youíre attracted to?

I wasnít overly attracted to her either I was trying to be nice.
Or maybe she's simply not fond of making small talk with strangers, and even less fond of being forced to do so against her will. Or maybe you were the 170th person Friend tried to set her up with and she's sick of it. She doesn't even have to be a jerk or rude that she didn't want to talk to you... she simply didn't want to talk to you, a person she doesn't know, for whatever reasons she had.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I am wondering if SHE was more interested in your friend? Is your friend single? Could it be possible that your friend was trying to throw her off of his scent, (so to speak) by him physically putting the 2 of you together?


I'd be willing to put a little bit of money on it, that it wasn't so much that she wasn't interested in you, as it was that she was interested in HIM, and she resented and was angry that he quite literally put a barrier (you) between her and him.
I can be uninterested in one person without it meaning I'm interested in another, FFS. Maybe she simply wasn't into him. Maybe she's not into anybody. People don't need to be constantly chasing the opposite sex.


Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Kinda hard not to if this was the case
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW. That was precisely her point. You are spending way too much time trying to make this about you, when chances are good that it was not. Out of all of the possibilities for this woman's behavior that *just that one poster* suggested, "you" were only 25%, but you latched right onto it. Do you take everything in life this personally??

 
Old 08-01-2019, 04:47 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,710 posts, read 4,936,773 times
Reputation: 12706
As "rude" as she was, one thing I find interesting about this is that OP has mentioned several times how he wants to be given a fair shot when meeting women. But if we dare to mention that he has to give someone a fair shot as well, which in his mind sounds like "date someone he has no interest in," he shuts it down instantly. The second a woman who does not meet his standard of being "attractive" has the "nerve" to be disinterested in him, his reaction is basically "You're not good looking enough to act this way. You should be glad I'm even talking to you." When she had said nothing about how he looks at all. He has no hard evidence as to WHY she behaved the way she did. He has a "get them before they get me" mentality and is trying to make himself feel better by downplaying her own looks. Which is sad.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 05:35 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
As "rude" as she was, one thing I find interesting about this is that OP has mentioned several times how he wants to be given a fair shot when meeting women. But if we dare to mention that he has to give someone a fair shot as well, which in his mind sounds like "date someone he has no interest in," he shuts it down instantly. The second a woman who does not meet his standard of being "attractive" has the "nerve" to be disinterested in him, his reaction is basically "You're not good looking enough to act this way. You should be glad I'm even talking to you." When she had said nothing about how he looks at all. He has no hard evidence as to WHY she behaved the way she did. He has a "get them before they get me" mentality and is trying to make himself feel better by downplaying her own looks. Which is sad.
Every single one of your hypothesis about me is wrong.

Nice job hun.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 05:53 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,710 posts, read 4,936,773 times
Reputation: 12706
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Every single one of your hypothesis about me is wrong.

Nice job hun.
First of all, I'm not your hun, so you can cut that.



Second of all, it's not a hypothesis, it's my observation. You can bath and bask in all the cognitive dissonance and SALT all you want, but the evidence is all in the saltiness of your posts and the way you carry yourself on this forum. Your ego was hurt because a woman who was not up to your standards didn't have any interest in getting to know you. Chalk it up to her not having a good day and move on. If you don't want anybody going in on your looks or trying to demean you, why would you then turn around and mention how she's not all that? Especially when there was no reason for it.

Last edited by Auraliea; 08-01-2019 at 06:52 PM..
 
Old 08-01-2019, 06:03 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
First of all, I'm not your hun, so you can cut that.



Second of all, it's not a hypothesis, it's my observation. You can bath and bask all in the cognitive dissonance and SALT all you want, but the evidence is all in the saltiness of your posts and the way you carry yourself on this forum. Your ego was hurt because a woman who was not up to your standards didn't have any interest in getting to know you. Chalk it up to her not having a good day and move on. If you don't want anybody going in on your looks or trying to demean you, why would you then turn around and mention how she's not all that? Especially when there was no reason for it.
Thank god youíre not mine.

As far as the looks thing my point was even if youíre not interested in someone romantically for whatever the reason doesnít mean you canít be somewhat friendly.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 06:12 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,710 posts, read 4,936,773 times
Reputation: 12706
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Thank god you’re not mine.

As far as the looks thing my point was even if you’re not interested in someone romantically for whatever the reason doesn’t mean you can’t be somewhat friendly.
Yeah yeah people who actually hold you accountable for stuff are such a drag. I knnnoooowwww....

I understand the discomfort of someone being rude but my point is this: Looks have nothing to do with it. If you don't want someone treating you like you're less than because of how you look, don't flip the script and try to project that onto someone you don't find attractive. It's hypocritical.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 06:24 PM
 
7,487 posts, read 11,629,808 times
Reputation: 8333
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
As "rude" as she was, one thing I find interesting about this is that OP has mentioned several times how he wants to be given a fair shot when meeting women. But if we dare to mention that he has to give someone a fair shot as well, which in his mind sounds like "date someone he has no interest in," he shuts it down instantly.
I didn't get that.

He actually said in his first post that she wasn't bad which is pretty much guy speak for 'attractive'.

The idea is more that you think all of these fairly average looking women are attractive and you want to get to know them, but none of them will give you a chance.

A fair amount of guys have been there, especially with OLD, and I've heard a lot of guys mention frustration with that, it's not unique to OP and its been mentioned a thousand times on dating forums.

In reality, it is 'mostly' a fallacy. Mostly...
 
Old 08-01-2019, 06:24 PM
 
550 posts, read 325,726 times
Reputation: 441
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Weíre at a ballgame for his bday and when I get there he tells me he sat me next to his friend because weíre both single and thinks weíd be a good match.

Iím not a fan of being put on the spot like that but Iím like whatever. Im getting a rare opportunity for myself so let me see if I can take advantage of it.

I try to strike up a conversation with her asking her questions trying to open up a dialogue she gives one word answers to everything. She literally wants no part of the conversation. I try one more time later on same thing gives me nothing and turns around after answering like leave me alone.

It wasnít like I was blatantly flirting with her I was simply trying to strike up a convo like a normal human being and nothing. It wasnít like she was some beauty queen either she was halfway decent looking. Not somebody Iíd notice when Iím out but still I was willing to see if there was anything there.

I guess if youíre unattractive some people wonít even want to have a convo with you? Lol.

This is why I donít even try with woman at all because the few times I do i get treated like ****.
Maybe she is that way with everyone. She may be painfully shy, socially awkward, or even autistic or something. You are assuming it was about you. Maybe she had a stomache ache or her dog died that day. Who knows?

Why take it personally? It was nice of you to try and I understand feeling irritated she didnt try and let the ball drop and you were just hanging there feeling awkward. Id be annoyed too, but you dont know for sure what was going on with her. Its wasting energy to be annoyed over it.

I know I can come across as shy and painfully awkward when social situations are sprung on me when Im not in the mood, and its always nice when the other person doesnt take it personally but seems to understand Im just not in a small talk with a stranger mood.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 06:38 PM
 
8,208 posts, read 6,068,821 times
Reputation: 5841
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
I didn't get that.

He actually said in his first post that she wasn't bad which is pretty much guy speak for 'attractive'.

The idea is more that you think all of these fairly average looking women are attractive and you want to get to know them, but none of them will give you a chance.

A fair amount of guys have been there, especially with OLD, and I've heard a lot of guys mention frustration with that, it's not unique to OP and its been mentioned a thousand times on dating forums.

In reality, it is 'mostly' a fallacy. Mostly...
Yeah, this expectation that the less attractive woman is going to be more polite/responsive/talkative whatever is something that I myself once had. But that got dropped. This was in my very early twenties. I've had not so attractive (to me) women be outright nasty to me, and then women who I was floored by treating me like they valued me. That's when I realized that women are not going to respond to me based on how attractive I perceive them to be.
 
Old 08-01-2019, 06:40 PM
 
8,208 posts, read 6,068,821 times
Reputation: 5841
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Maybe she is that way with everyone. She may be painfully shy, socially awkward, or even autistic or something. You are assuming it was about you. Maybe she had a stomache ache or her dog died that day. Who knows?

Why take it personally? It was nice of you to try and I understand feeling irritated she didnt try and let the ball drop and you were just hanging there feeling awkward. Id be annoyed too, but you dont know for sure what was going on with her. Its wasting energy to be annoyed over it.

I know I can come across as shy and painfully awkward when social situations are sprung on me when Im not in the mood, and its always nice when the other person doesnt take it personally but seems to understand Im just not in a small talk with a stranger mood.
Yeah, definitely don't take it personally. Easier said than done sometimes. I know. There are some things I take personally from time to time, but I get over it.
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