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Old 07-29-2019, 10:12 AM
 
1,429 posts, read 562,351 times
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It really irritates me when just because one is single...a friend always gets the bright idea that maybe they can play matchmaker WITHOUT even knowing your preferences or anything.Just because one is single doesn't mean it's easy to match up with another single.It doesn't work like that UNLESS there is mutual attraction between the 2 single people...period.
The woman probably wasn't attracted to you...no big deal.
I think that it was not a good idea for your friend to have tried to match you up with a single person right there on the spot.

 
Old 07-29-2019, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Boulder, CO
474 posts, read 152,053 times
Reputation: 898
If it was me and we were sitting friend-friend-woman-me I'd ask them to scoot down and make it me-friend-friend-woman. And see if I can have some laughs with the new person next to me (whoever it is; I find folks at ballgames to be pretty friendly). "Make lemonade", as the saying goes.
 
Old 07-29-2019, 10:25 AM
 
7,487 posts, read 11,629,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Unfortunate the OP had to bear the cross of her feelings but the woman had every right to be upset about being placed on the spot. If I was the OP, Iíd rip, tear, and staple the friend a new one for placing me into that situation.
It's pretty common for even women to do that.

Because women are generally pickier, my friend's wife would sometimes just try and get me in a room with one of her friends. She would tell me to go for it, but she wouldn't say anything to her friend.

One time, one of those women turned into a woman I dated for a little while. So it does work...

I mean, do you want to take chances in life, or do you want to get pissed about little social conventions?
 
Old 07-29-2019, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,670 posts, read 33,557,265 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
It's pretty common for even women to do that.

Because women are generally pickier, my friend's wife would sometimes just try and get me in a room with one of her friends. She would tell me to go for it, but she wouldn't say anything to her friend.

One time, one of those women turned into a woman I dated for a little while. So it does work...

I mean, do you want to take chances in life, or do you want to get pissed about little social conventions?
I and I alone should be the one who decides to take chances. My ďfriendsĒ have no business deciding that on my behalf.
 
Old 07-29-2019, 10:53 AM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
She KNEW she was being setup and wasn't happy about it. Period
I donít think she did. I donít think my friend told her and there were a lot of people there. It wasnít like we were next to each other and away from everyone else.
 
Old 07-29-2019, 10:57 AM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by codergirl View Post
It really irritates me when just because one is single...a friend always gets the bright idea that maybe they can play matchmaker WITHOUT even knowing your preferences or anything.Just because one is single doesn't mean it's easy to match up with another single.It doesn't work like that UNLESS there is mutual attraction between the 2 single people...period.
The woman probably wasn't attracted to you...no big deal.
I think that it was not a good idea for your friend to have tried to match you up with a single person right there on the spot.
I donít think she knew. It wasnít like it was obvious there were tons of people there it wasnít like we were in a corner by ourselves.

Even if she wasnít attracted to me it wasnít like I was flirting with her I was trying to be friendly with someone I was sitting next to someone for 3 hours. Do you only talk to people youíre attracted to?

I wasnít overly attracted to her either I was trying to be nice.
 
Old 07-29-2019, 11:01 AM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
This happened to me pretty often too, though typically it was more at house parties and birthday parties and stuff. Sometimes, I'd get a couple of minutes of conversation in and they'd be already looking for a way out.

The bottom line is this...

Let's say tomorrow you wake up and you're 6'1" and really good looking. And you meet this woman again. And she opens up like a 7-11. Do you want to be with someone like that?

And lets say that it might not be your looks. Do you want to be with someone who is rude and curt to a stranger for any reason? I don't buy the ... it's in the moment thing. So, that woman the next you see her is going to be ready to have a 20 minute conversation with you? Doubtful...

I mean, granted, lots of guys would say yes, and lots of women do act that way, but it's a real, live question. Because those are the things you SHOULD be concerning yourself with. Those are the important compatibility points.

I know it's hard for you to do that because you cannot even get A woman, but it's very smart to start looking at things like that. It will serve you well in the long run. I wish I could have seen things back then that way.

Anyway ... if your answer happens to be yes, start working on your 'game'...
It was just rude. Do people only talk to people they’re attracted to? What about if we had chemistry and hit it off?

It’s just annoying how I purposely am passive because of how much rejection hurts me and my self esteem yet I get thrusted into these situations which remind me how unattractive iam.

This is why I don’t even try with woman.
 
Old 07-29-2019, 12:00 PM
 
7,487 posts, read 11,629,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Do people only talk to people they’re attracted to?
Yes. Mostly younger people though.

To be fair, guys do it too. I remember when I was a frosh in college living in the dorms my mom connected me to a family friend I never met and I was waiting for her and a friend and we were going to some campus activity. One of the guys in my dorm asked what I was doing and I said waiting for 2 girls to show up. And he was like ... oh I want to go.

And then when they showed up, I introduced him, he 'assessed' them and he walked a block and then made an excuse and bee-lined it out of there.

It's funny I still remember that many years later, but that was really rude.

In a way, because people have treated me that way to varying extents as well, I can see how that affects people, so ... I never treat somebody better or worse because of what they look like.
 
Old 07-29-2019, 01:02 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
It's pretty common for even women to do that.

Because women are generally pickier, my friend's wife would sometimes just try and get me in a room with one of her friends. She would tell me to go for it, but she wouldn't say anything to her friend.

One time, one of those women turned into a woman I dated for a little while. So it does work...

I mean, do you want to take chances in life, or do you want to get pissed about little social conventions?
I was actually excited about it because I’m very rarely around single woman and I’m kinda shy so this was an opportunity to maybe meet someone.

In hindsight though my friend should have read the situation better and tried to hook her up with a good looking guy he knows. Give her a treat something to get excited about.

She sees me and thinks I’m so ugly that she’s afraid to even strike up a conversation in fear that I would get the wrong impression and think she likes me.

Last edited by JBT1980; 07-29-2019 at 01:12 PM..
 
Old 07-29-2019, 01:03 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Yes. Mostly younger people though.

To be fair, guys do it too. I remember when I was a frosh in college living in the dorms my mom connected me to a family friend I never met and I was waiting for her and a friend and we were going to some campus activity. One of the guys in my dorm asked what I was doing and I said waiting for 2 girls to show up. And he was like ... oh I want to go.

And then when they showed up, I introduced him, he 'assessed' them and he walked a block and then made an excuse and bee-lined it out of there.

It's funny I still remember that many years later, but that was really rude.

In a way, because people have treated me that way to varying extents as well, I can see how that affects people, so ... I never treat somebody better or worse because of what they look like.
Iím 39 and I guessing she was at least mid 30ís.

Itís pathetic to still be that way. I always try to be friendly to people trying to be friendly with me.
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