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Old Yesterday, 01:26 PM
 
328 posts, read 65,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
I think old is partly to blame. There’s so many more men on there then women so even some average women will be bombarded by messages from men and it may give them an inflated ego which I’m not blaming them for its just human nature.

So then they go out and think “yuck I’m not into this blah looking guy I got attractive men sending me messages online”
OP one gets the distinct impression that you're on a personal mission to bring "average looking women" or unattractive women down a peg or 2. Why so hung up on other peoples' looks?

I don't think women get inflated egos from the messages sent through online dating. If anything I think it's more likely to be an ego bruiser lol. When you see the crap you get sent on there. Not to mention the generic things like "hey babe, how r u?" that get sent to everyone on there from people who can't spell or hold a conversation without mentioning sex in the first 2 mins.

Stop worrying about everyone else and what they look like.

 
Old Yesterday, 02:53 PM
 
760 posts, read 197,192 times
Reputation: 989
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
OP one gets the distinct impression that you're on a personal mission to bring "average looking women" or unattractive women down a peg or 2. Why so hung up on other peoples' looks?

I don't think women get inflated egos from the messages sent through online dating. If anything I think it's more likely to be an ego bruiser lol. When you see the crap you get sent on there. Not to mention the generic things like "hey babe, how r u?" that get sent to everyone on there from people who can't spell or hold a conversation without mentioning sex in the first 2 mins.

Stop worrying about everyone else and what they look like.
I don’t think inflated egos so much as a greater number of possibilities allows for more selectivity but also incurs more fatigue. It’s a system that rewards more aggressive guys (“It’s a numbers game bro, just slide right on every girl”), especially those with good-looking pictures (on Tinder, for instance, a guy of average attractiveness will be swiped right by less than 1% of women). Women are swarmed with connections, and guys need to become part of that swarm, be an exceptional stand-out kind of person, or get ready for months of empty in-boxes. Generally a miserable experience for all but the most attractive guys or women who are looking for quick, easy sex, and as usual you can blame the problems on the type of man who will do just about anything to get just about any girl into bed.

In my brief forays into trying to date online I tried to find women that looked like I would have some commonality with and send them a thoughtful, attemptedly humorous opener that I thought would appeal to them based on their interests. I never re-used openers, they were always between 2-4 sentences. But with my dearth of attractive characteristics, and in competition with guys sending hundreds of generic openers, my attempts were a drop in the bucket and didn’t stand out in any remarkable way. The few women who responded generally lost interest very quickly due to this (or I screwed up by being a complete novice at trying to date). I’m just one message out of hundreds in their inboxes, and with nothing better to catch the eye I get lost in the shuffle.
 
Old Yesterday, 03:17 PM
 
2,097 posts, read 575,533 times
Reputation: 1364
Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
I don’t think inflated egos so much as a greater number of possibilities allows for more selectivity but also incurs more fatigue. It’s a system that rewards more aggressive guys (“It’s a numbers game bro, just slide right on every girl”), especially those with good-looking pictures (on Tinder, for instance, a guy of average attractiveness will be swiped right by less than 1% of women). Women are swarmed with connections, and guys need to become part of that swarm, be an exceptional stand-out kind of person, or get ready for months of empty in-boxes. Generally a miserable experience for all but the most attractive guys or women who are looking for quick, easy sex, and as usual you can blame the problems on the type of man who will do just about anything to get just about any girl into bed.

In my brief forays into trying to date online I tried to find women that looked like I would have some commonality with and send them a thoughtful, attemptedly humorous opener that I thought would appeal to them based on their interests. I never re-used openers, they were always between 2-4 sentences. But with my dearth of attractive characteristics, and in competition with guys sending hundreds of generic openers, my attempts were a drop in the bucket and didn’t stand out in any remarkable way. The few women who responded generally lost interest very quickly due to this (or I screwed up by being a complete novice at trying to date). I’m just one message out of hundreds in their inboxes, and with nothing better to catch the eye I get lost in the shuffle.
It's interesting, esp. in my smaller area, the years I've seen some of the same faces. There's a couple of "never married, no kids , over 40 types" that I swear are what my friend calls "perma-single". I would recall seeing them online, emailing them and never get a response. I would usually attempt online dating once a year for a few months, then take a year long break to come back an see them again.

Sometimes I'd send them a, "Hey, you're still on here, maybe I can try this again and you can give me a shot...whattday say? WE're not gettin' any younger! ;-)"
She still had the same cliched" Not looking for someone who is perfect, just perfect for me.
" phrase. lol
 
Old Yesterday, 03:33 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
. Why so hung up on other peoples' looks?

.
This coming from someone who told me to specifically target unattractive women lol
 
Old Yesterday, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,107 posts, read 8,393,633 times
Reputation: 19584
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Thank you. You can really tell who the people with no manners or social grace or tact are in here by their answers.

If someone Iím sitting next to tries to start a convo with me and asks about me I ask about them even if Iím not that interested because I try to be friendly to people who are friendly to me.

Itís not like I was asking her questions while she was running or in a gym we were sitting for three hours watching a slow moving baseball game. Itís a pretty condusive setting for conversations.

Maybe Iím a dinosaur or something trying to be nice to people. It seems to be more accepted to be a prick nowadays .
If she's so unpleasant, why did your buddy try to set you up with her?
 
Old Yesterday, 03:49 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
If she's so unpleasant, why did your buddy try to set you up with her?
She’s probably friendly to attractive men and people she’s friends with. Just not an ugly guy she’s being set up with.

Maybe he’s never seen that side of her.
 
Old Yesterday, 03:52 PM
 
2,097 posts, read 575,533 times
Reputation: 1364
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Sheís probably friendly to attractive men and people sheís friends with.

Maybe heís never seen that side of her.
Yeah, she probably embarrassed him.
 
Old Yesterday, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,107 posts, read 8,393,633 times
Reputation: 19584
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
She’s probably friendly to attractive men and people she’s friends with.

Maybe he’s never seen that side of her.

The only time I set up friends, I saw similarities between them, from personality to interests/hobbies. They dated for about 1.5 years so I guess I didn't do too badly.

Did your buddy indicate why he was setting you up with her, what he thought you two might have in common that would make you want to date each other? It has to be more than "both single" and I get the sense your buddy put zero thought into it.
 
Old Yesterday, 04:00 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 4,726,157 times
Reputation: 2939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
The only time I set up friends, I saw similarities between them, from personality to interests/hobbies. They dated for about 1.5 years so I guess I didn't do too badly.

Did your buddy indicate why he was setting you up with her, what he thought you two might have in common that would make you want to date each other? It has to be more than "both single" and I get the sense your buddy put zero thought into it.
No he just sprung it on me when I got there and I havent asked about it or seen him since. But even if we had things in common we’d never know because she refused to engage in a conversation lol.

Maybe he should have set her up with someone better looking. She would have been more receptive.
 
Old Yesterday, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,107 posts, read 8,393,633 times
Reputation: 19584
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Maybe he should have set her up with someone better looking.
Seriously. Stop.

I think your friend and his surprises suck.
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