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Old 07-30-2019, 06:58 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,442,227 times
Reputation: 4005

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18 View Post
Meh. Once you got the uninterested vibe shoulda just ignored her and had a great time with your friend.
I agree. I’ve tried striking up conversations at concerts many times in between sets. If I got the impression she wasn’t interested I simply walked away. No way I’d let that spoil my enjoyment of the show.

 
Old 07-30-2019, 07:02 AM
 
1,199 posts, read 730,290 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I agree. I’ve tried striking up conversations at concerts many times in between sets. If I got the impression she wasn’t interested I simply walked away. No way I’d let that spoil my enjoyment of the show.
Some girls just always have a B-shield up to strangers. If you don’t let it bother you and be the good time that you are, they’ll come around.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 07:11 AM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,345,258 times
Reputation: 12295
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
We’re at a ballgame for his bday and when I get there he tells me he sat me next to his friend because we’re both single and thinks we’d be a good match.

I’m not a fan of being put on the spot like that but I’m like whatever. Im getting a rare opportunity for myself so let me see if I can take advantage of it.

I try to strike up a conversation with her asking her questions trying to open up a dialogue she gives one word answers to everything. She literally wants no part of the conversation. I try one more time later on same thing gives me nothing and turns around after answering like leave me alone.

It wasn’t like I was blatantly flirting with her I was simply trying to strike up a convo like a normal human being and nothing. It wasn’t like she was some beauty queen either she was halfway decent looking. Not somebody I’d notice when I’m out but still I was willing to see if there was anything there.

I guess if you’re unattractive some people won’t even want to have a convo with you? Lol.

This is why I don’t even try with woman at all because the few times I do i get treated like ****.
Think this one through, JBT. Chances are you both knew this was a sort of setup, and those can be awkward. You weren't attracted to her, correct? Yet, you were willing to try to pass the time pleasantly even though you didn't find her attractive. So your decision to speak to her or not had nothing to do with her looks. You were trying to be polite, and to deal with the predicament your friend put you in the best you could.

So how do you attribute her cold response to your looks? She failed at trying to make an awkward situation less awkward. She failed at dealing with the same predicament you were both in. You didn't fail to be attractive enough. The best evidence for that is your own behavior, overlooking her so-so looks and trying to be cordial.

Looks matter, but you seem to want them to be your social death knell. Let that go.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Des Moines IA
1,883 posts, read 2,520,454 times
Reputation: 3408
I think you're making too big of a deal out of this. She didn't know you, and probably didn't want to be bothered. Yeah maybe she could have been friendlier, but honestly she would have been fake, and you may have gotten the wrong impression. This is the negative about engaging people in person, especially these days, when many people just don't like to meet new people when they are out on public. Seriously, don't take it so personal, you're only going to make yourself upset over something, that really isn't that serious
 
Old 07-30-2019, 01:05 PM
 
5,321 posts, read 6,098,450 times
Reputation: 4110
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18 View Post
What exactly is ugly about you, in your opinion? Specifically.
Big Nose. I have thin lips as well. Receding hairline
 
Old 07-30-2019, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Riding a rock floating through space
2,660 posts, read 1,553,563 times
Reputation: 6359
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
We’re at a ballgame for his bday and when I get there he tells me he sat me next to his friend because we’re both single and thinks we’d be a good match.

I’m not a fan of being put on the spot like that but I’m like whatever. Im getting a rare opportunity for myself so let me see if I can take advantage of it.

I try to strike up a conversation with her asking her questions trying to open up a dialogue she gives one word answers to everything. She literally wants no part of the conversation. I try one more time later on same thing gives me nothing and turns around after answering like leave me alone.

It wasn’t like I was blatantly flirting with her I was simply trying to strike up a convo like a normal human being and nothing. It wasn’t like she was some beauty queen either she was halfway decent looking. Not somebody I’d notice when I’m out but still I was willing to see if there was anything there.

I guess if you’re unattractive some people won’t even want to have a convo with you? Lol.

This is why I don’t even try with woman at all because the few times I do i get treated like ****.
You should learn to play it cool. You should have waited for her to say something to you, but at the very least after the first question went nowhere just let it go and enjoy the game instead of continuing with more questions. You turned this into a self esteem sapping event when it should have been a non event.
Another word of advice is nobody wants a game of 20 questions. If real conversation isn't there it isn't there.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 01:42 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,016,112 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
We’re at a ballgame for his bday and when I get there he tells me he sat me next to his friend because we’re both single and thinks we’d be a good match.

I’m not a fan of being put on the spot like that but I’m like whatever. Im getting a rare opportunity for myself so let me see if I can take advantage of it.

I try to strike up a conversation with her asking her questions trying to open up a dialogue she gives one word answers to everything. She literally wants no part of the conversation. I try one more time later on same thing gives me nothing and turns around after answering like leave me alone.

It wasn’t like I was blatantly flirting with her I was simply trying to strike up a convo like a normal human being and nothing. It wasn’t like she was some beauty queen either she was halfway decent looking. Not somebody I’d notice when I’m out but still I was willing to see if there was anything there.

I guess if you’re unattractive some people won’t even want to have a convo with you? Lol.

This is why I don’t even try with woman at all because the few times I do i get treated like ****.

I am wondering if SHE was more interested in your friend? Is your friend single? Could it be possible that your friend was trying to throw her off of his scent, (so to speak) by him physically putting the 2 of you together?


I'd be willing to put a little bit of money on it, that it wasn't so much that she wasn't interested in you, as it was that she was interested in HIM, and she resented and was angry that he quite literally put a barrier (you) between her and him.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 01:45 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,016,112 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by duke944 View Post
You should learn to play it cool. You should have waited for her to say something to you, but at the very least after the first question went nowhere just let it go and enjoy the game instead of continuing with more questions. You turned this into a self esteem sapping event when it should have been a non event.
Another word of advice is nobody wants a game of 20 questions. If real conversation isn't there it isn't there.


I think he was trying to be polite and friendly. IMO, you were right, to try and be friendly. To me, it just seems she brought HER angst to the game, and it had very little to do with you.


I think if your friend had done the same thing with another friend, the female would've probably behaved in the same manner.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,785 posts, read 12,022,471 times
Reputation: 30379
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I think he was trying to be polite and friendly. IMO, you were right, to try and be friendly. To me, it just seems she brought HER angst to the game, and it had very little to do with you.


I think if your friend had done the same thing with another friend, the female would've probably behaved in the same manner.
I think it is worth repeating that someone being rude/impolite/standoffish is a reflection of them, and not you.
 
Old 07-30-2019, 02:21 PM
 
5,321 posts, read 6,098,450 times
Reputation: 4110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I am wondering if SHE was more interested in your friend? Is your friend single? Could it be possible that your friend was trying to throw her off of his scent, (so to speak) by him physically putting the 2 of you together?


I'd be willing to put a little bit of money on it, that it wasn't so much that she wasn't interested in you, as it was that she was interested in HIM, and she resented and was angry that he quite literally put a barrier (you) between her and him.
My friends married so no.
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