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Old Yesterday, 06:32 AM
 
Location: Aberdeen
182 posts, read 273,123 times
Reputation: 424

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter_EU View Post
as a matter of fact, most of them is married or in relationship, I am not trying to get anybody. But I sure want to impress them, yeah, why not?

And speaking of failing, in last year since I started to meet them, I doubled my salary (currently I am nearly at 3 times of national average), got nearly dream job, worked my bodyshape to be my lifetime top - got ripped, athletic and tanned, peak physical performance, my confidence and general life happiness is rising by every month...

could it be that you are just failing as a life-pro? Maybe?

And yet you still seem to be struggling with self confidence and happiness... perhaps you are pursuing the wrong goals.
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Old Yesterday, 06:48 AM
Status: "Fill the days." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg/Virginia Beach, VA
10,721 posts, read 11,142,357 times
Reputation: 14184

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A5SaLZ7rsa0

This isn’t even a relationship discussion. It’s self improvement, maybe work/employment given OP’s context, non-romantic relationships perhaps. At any rate I think most of us have people who’ve inspired us to do better. The trick is being inspired while not putting these people up on a pedestal; they’re only human. I’m pretty picky about who I draw inspiration from. Maybe it’s because I’m reasonably successful in my own right and don’t have major issues with my confidence. But I’ve had role models along the way who’ve inspired me and in an effort not to disappoint I’ve worked to better myself in order to meet and exceed expectations.

Last edited by iknowftbll; Yesterday at 07:09 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 07:13 AM
 
12,505 posts, read 9,983,160 times
Reputation: 16178
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A5SaLZ7rsa0

This isn’t even a relationship discussion. It’s self improvement, maybe work/employment given OP’s context, non-romantic relationships perhaps. At any rate I think most of us have people who’ve inspired us to do better. The trick is being inspired while not putting these people up on a pedestal; they’re only human.
Yes. AND since they are only human, they will do things that are totally normal and within bounds that can devastate the self esteem that was built on this incorrect premise.
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Old Yesterday, 11:41 AM
 
8,176 posts, read 6,058,202 times
Reputation: 5814
Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
Inspiration and motivation are not enough. You actually have to do the work to get what you want. It's okay to admire people for a specific action, but putting them on a pedestal will not allow you to move up there.
Going by what he's saying throughout the thread, he has been putting in work.
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Old Yesterday, 11:42 AM
 
266 posts, read 57,627 times
Reputation: 568
Does it matter if you feel confident or not? Most impressive women won't notice if you do not feel confident.

The one way to show you feel unconfident is to overcompensate, talk yourself up and act like you're a big shot.

Just be yourself, and people won't necessarily know how you feel on the inside.
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Old Yesterday, 11:49 AM
 
8,176 posts, read 6,058,202 times
Reputation: 5814
I honestly think we misunderstood you, Peter_EU. From what it sounds like, you have achieved a lot, and you are hopeful about your life. Top physical shape, doubled your salary, etc.

I say you're doing something right, even if the motive is something we find unusual.

I congratulate anyone who has made huge achievements and are happy with what they have achieved. I am inspired and impressed with anyone who makes life work for them.

Keep growing.
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Old Yesterday, 06:19 PM
 
7,587 posts, read 2,992,664 times
Reputation: 12562
I find anyone doing the “I am tan and fit and wealthy” humblebrag to have just taken a step or 2 away from the attraction goal, personally.
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Old Yesterday, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,632 posts, read 52,871,846 times
Reputation: 70988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter_EU View Post
eeexactly. My words!

problem is... they are so many years of work ahead of you...

You are very right, this is the right approach. But you also need some sort of mind game... because regardless of how strong and satisfied about yourself you feel, 30 minutes around these people and they overwhelm you...

yeah, that's the reality

I saw nearly every man around them(her) to be the same... Haha!
Are there people who are more accomplished than I am?
Oh, yes.
Do I allow that to intimidate me or make me question my own worth?
No.

You can admire someone and be impressed without making it about yourself. Start there.

Btw, anyone whose goal is to walk around impressing other people has very, very far to go in the confidence department.
Impress yourself. Awe yourself. Inspire yourself. That is the time to be about yourself.
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Old Today, 03:18 AM
 
3,118 posts, read 1,585,820 times
Reputation: 3243
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Going by what he's saying throughout the thread, he has been putting in work.
I know the phrase 'putting in the work' is not too helpful but I did add 'to get what you want'. Once desires can be identified clearly, acquiring them can be gradual, as you would say "growing." The only thing I would advise against is identifying a specific person as a want, which I suspect may be happening, for now. Instead, I would identify people who recognize that I am growing and see if they want to take the journey with me so that I can build relationship skills.
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Old Today, 03:52 AM
 
12,361 posts, read 13,637,415 times
Reputation: 14407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter_EU View Post
sorry, eventually I deleted post I wrote here, it would not sound as I intened. I get back to this tomorrow
I find it very hard to believe you received a job that pays three times the national average.

What grade are you in really?
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