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Old 07-31-2019, 10:56 AM
 
2 posts, read 568 times
Reputation: 10

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I went through my boyfriend's phone. It's not the first time. We dated for about a year and then we broke up. We're back together after 3 months and I wanted to check if he has actually changed, like he says he has, or whether he is still flirting and going out for solo dinners and drinks with other women.

There's this one beautiful woman that he works with, exactly his type, that he sends songs to over text and that he keeps inviting to do things with him (like go out dancing). She always seems to cancel on him at the last minute, saying that she has to work late so maybe next time.

Anyway, I saw a text about a party that he invited her to last week. She bailed on him. He invited me the day before the party to go with him. I didn't know he had invited her before he invited me. It seems like because she couldn't go, he then invited me.

On the other hand, he tells me he loves me all the time and that he wants to build a live together. He also pursued me after 3 months of being apart. But something feels off. Why can't I trust him?
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Old 07-31-2019, 11:01 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,358 posts, read 56,182,364 times
Reputation: 90444
There is a difference between talking and doing. What you believe more?

You are on a back burner, baby...
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Old 07-31-2019, 11:11 AM
 
705 posts, read 238,565 times
Reputation: 2148
If you're exclusive, dump him. If not, he's free to pursue other relationships.
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Old 07-31-2019, 11:13 AM
 
2 posts, read 568 times
Reputation: 10
We are exclusive. I asked him if he'd rather be in an open relationship. He said no. I think maybe he doesn't want me to date other people or deep down he knows that this woman just isn't that into him ...
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Old 07-31-2019, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,118 posts, read 5,445,811 times
Reputation: 12662
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post
I went through my boyfriend's phone. It's not the first time. We dated for about a year and then we broke up. We're back together after 3 months and I wanted to check if he has actually changed, like he says he has, or whether he is still flirting and going out for solo dinners and drinks with other women.

There's this one beautiful woman that he works with, exactly his type, that he sends songs to over text and that he keeps inviting to do things with him (like go out dancing). She always seems to cancel on him at the last minute, saying that she has to work late so maybe next time.

Anyway, I saw a text about a party that he invited her to last week. She bailed on him. He invited me the day before the party to go with him. I didn't know he had invited her before he invited me. It seems like because she couldn't go, he then invited me.

On the other hand, he tells me he loves me all the time and that he wants to build a live together. He also pursued me after 3 months of being apart. But something feels off. Why can't I trust him?
Confirmation that he hasn't changed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post
Why can't I trust him?
The way you phrased this question appears that you think it's your fault that you can't trust him. That's the wrong way to think. The answer to your question: He's not trustworthy.

Kick him to the curb and don't look back.
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Old 07-31-2019, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,658 posts, read 42,273,122 times
Reputation: 84141
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post

We are exclusive. ...
Thatís not how heís acting.
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Old 07-31-2019, 11:33 AM
 
455 posts, read 82,071 times
Reputation: 822
You can't trust him because he's behaving in an untrustworthy manner. It's time to trust yourself and your own feelings about the relationship and cut this guy loose. He's not acting like you two are in an exclusive relationship.
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Old 07-31-2019, 12:25 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,098 posts, read 8,415,542 times
Reputation: 11629
Words mean nothing at all if the actions don't match. Why are you giving this loser another chance? Please dump him again asap and make sure it sticks this time.
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Old 07-31-2019, 12:35 PM
 
1,994 posts, read 1,321,308 times
Reputation: 3423
Sounds like a real winner. Always wants to be in a relationship, but always wants something else.
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Old 07-31-2019, 01:31 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,158 posts, read 12,961,665 times
Reputation: 31634
Quote:
Originally Posted by amyyyyblack View Post
I went through my boyfriend's phone. It's not the first time. We dated for about a year and then we broke up. We're back together after 3 months and I wanted to check if he has actually changed, like he says he has, or whether he is still flirting and going out for solo dinners and drinks with other women.

There's this one beautiful woman that he works with, exactly his type, that he sends songs to over text and that he keeps inviting to do things with him (like go out dancing). She always seems to cancel on him at the last minute, saying that she has to work late so maybe next time.

Anyway, I saw a text about a party that he invited her to last week. She bailed on him. He invited me the day before the party to go with him. I didn't know he had invited her before he invited me. It seems like because she couldn't go, he then invited me.

On the other hand, he tells me he loves me all the time and that he wants to build a live together. He also pursued me after 3 months of being apart. But something feels off. Why can't I trust him?
Uhm. Yes, I wonder why
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