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Old 08-03-2019, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
11,895 posts, read 26,917,330 times
Reputation: 4599

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It's not unusual. You know what you want, don't settle for less! Someone will come along at the right time.
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Old 08-03-2019, 12:03 PM
 
858 posts, read 206,848 times
Reputation: 619
"How to Be Alone" is one of the best books i've read on the subject. it's written by a woman who grappled with her own experiences and issues and puts them in really sharp perspective about what it culturally means to be "single". a really heartfelt read.
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Old 08-03-2019, 06:25 PM
 
12,375 posts, read 13,652,723 times
Reputation: 14420
Yeah, I would say you should just hand in your girl card. It’s over.

I’m kidding.

Be the aggressor. In that, I mean, talk to the hot guys. Make eye contact. Say hi. Strike up a conversation.

If you're attractive they may not think they could get someone like you. Show them they can.
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Old 08-03-2019, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,990 posts, read 3,901,880 times
Reputation: 16693
Learn how to be happy with yourself first.....
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:22 PM
 
311 posts, read 132,619 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordSquidworth View Post
Nothing wrong with that.

I met a gal at that age who hadn't had a real relationship in years and was constantly dating but nothing keeping her interest. Her sister was a few years older, had two kids, and her mother was sometimes on her about finding someone. She'd been in the bridal party for countless friends. I'd tease her once she hit 30 it'd be over for her, might as well get a few cats and give up...

She'd say she was picky... but I don't know if that was the case. I openly asked her what was wrong with her if she hadn't had a relationship in years... she said nothing which so far is true... I might've called her the rebound girl on the second date when she asked how long it'd been since my last relationship to our first date and the answer was less than a week... and a couple other flubs. The first couple dates were admittedly a little messy and she teases after each one she wasn't interested until she came to my place and I made dinner and she met my dogs, then she was hooked.

She was just not interested in settling. You can really tell in the first couple months the long term prospects, I feel a lot of people ignore the warning flags. I've had a couple relationships go on for 3+ years that looking back I could see were doomed from the start.

It's a numbers game. I never thought I'd be 30 and still figuring it out, but in this day and age there really isn't anything wrong with that. I'm good looking, successful, in theory dreamy in the modern age... I've dated girls that wanted to marry me... I just never felt the same way. Honestly having a family in my twenties would probably be a train wreck. I feel like my 30s are going to be much more stable.

The 29 year old is now 30 and hasn't had to get any cats. It's the easiest relationship I've ever been in (it's work, but it's easy getting a long. A good relationship always requires work) and I wouldn't trade it for settling down earlier in life. If I had to go to 35 to find it, so be it.
This is really encouraging thank you! I agree with you in that I have dated people for a few weeks/months and ended it after that short amount of time, but knowing that it also could have lasted 2+ years because were were compatible -- there were just a few things off.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:26 PM
 
311 posts, read 132,619 times
Reputation: 346
Thank you for the suggestions everyone I will definitely read that book "How to Be Alone" and to answer another poster, I've tried online dating and dating apps. They definitely give me more options. I appreciate that no one on here is saying "hurry up and find a guy" which is the societal message that seems to be everywhere. I feel like men have less of this pressure, although I have dated a couple men in their late-30s who seemed pretty eager to settle down.
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Old 08-04-2019, 09:41 PM
 
706 posts, read 314,633 times
Reputation: 398
Why do women feel worthless unless they're dating? It's sad. It's not like you've got terminal cancer. Enjoy being single. No one to cheat on you, you can do as you wish. I find being single quite pleasant.
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Old 08-04-2019, 10:12 PM
 
403 posts, read 76,346 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
I even have a friend who married at 24 (now pregnant with her second kid), who makes comments like “the guys in their 30s who are still single are mostly leftovers” and “you better hurry up if you want kids.”
The problem is not you, it is your friends.
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Old 08-04-2019, 10:13 PM
 
403 posts, read 76,346 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
I appreciate that no one on here is saying "hurry up and find a guy" which is the societal message that seems to be everywhere. I feel like men have less of this pressure, although I have dated a couple men in their late-30s who seemed pretty eager to settle down.
Just ignore this message. Like lots of things society pushes on us women, it is BS.
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Old Yesterday, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,526 posts, read 4,337,659 times
Reputation: 5315
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jezku View Post
"How to Be Alone" is one of the best books i've read on the subject. it's written by a woman who grappled with her own experiences and issues and puts them in really sharp perspective about what it culturally means to be "single". a really heartfelt read.
I've read that also, and I'm a guy.
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