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Old Yesterday, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,526 posts, read 4,337,659 times
Reputation: 5315

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I'm not saying don't date OP if you want to find someone to have kids with. But this is Rubbish. Men on this forum like to throw this idea around that women look past it at 35. I'm mid 30s and still get ID'ed for buying alcohol sometimes. The women I know in their mid 30s do not look middle aged or suddenly become invisible when they hit their mid to late 30s. Maybe if you live in a place like Florida, never heard of sunscreen, put a load of weight on and smoke 20 a day you might look middle aged into your 30s.
It definitely depends on where you live. They look awful where I live, but I go to New York City and gorgeous women into their 50's. And to your point, nobody is health conscious here and a lot of sun worshipers. I'm like a fish out of water living where I do.
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Old Yesterday, 11:11 AM
 
763 posts, read 453,555 times
Reputation: 667
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I'm not saying don't date OP if you want to find someone to have kids with. But this is Rubbish. Men on this forum like to throw this idea around that women look past it at 35. I'm mid 30s and still get ID'ed for buying alcohol sometimes. The women I know in their mid 30s do not look middle aged or suddenly become invisible when they hit their mid to late 30s. Maybe if you live in a place like Florida, never heard of sunscreen, put a load of weight on and smoke 20 a day you might look middle aged into your 30s.
To his credit, he didn't say ALL women, he said many women. I'd agree, many women (and men) do look older than their age due to various reasons, while others look younger.

Also on online dating sites, I imagine many women (and men) lie about their age. They say 35 on their profile, but actually 40.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
It definitely depends on where you live. They look awful where I live, but I go to New York City and gorgeous women into their 50's. And to your point, nobody is health conscious here and a lot of sun worshipers. I'm like a fish out of water living where I do.


sun + obesity + smoking is the worse. Then there's genetics, which can act like a multiplier on those other factors.
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Old Yesterday, 11:14 AM
 
403 posts, read 76,346 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797 View Post

Also on online dating sites, I imagine many women (and men) lie about their age. They say 35 on their profile, but actually 40.
I don't see the point in doing this. I mean, if you lie about your age and you get serious with someone, they're going to see your passport/driving licence at some point ?? How will your partner ever trust you when they find out?
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Old Yesterday, 11:33 AM
 
639 posts, read 271,000 times
Reputation: 747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Learn how to be happy with yourself first.....
Yep. Also learn to love crappy minimum wage jobs, driving junk beat up cars, eat anything and weigh 300 lbs, etc.

Cause why have life goals if you can simply be happy with yourself?
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Old Yesterday, 11:37 AM
 
403 posts, read 76,346 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
It definitely depends on where you live. They look awful where I live, but I go to New York City and gorgeous women into their 50's. And to your point, nobody is health conscious here and a lot of sun worshipers. I'm like a fish out of water living where I do.
I suppose the advice for OP would be, if you want to meet an attractive man into your 30s and beyond, it does help if you're not grossly overweight, don't smoke, don't drink loads of alcohol or do drugs, eat real food, and remember to wear sunscreen.
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Old Yesterday, 11:38 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,725 posts, read 4,942,207 times
Reputation: 12730
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton View Post
Yep. Also learn to love crappy minimum wage jobs, driving junk beat up cars, eat anything and weigh 300 lbs, etc.

Cause why have life goals if you can simply be happy with yourself?
Completely taken out of context.

Since when does being happy with yourself mean you can't make self improvements and stay healthy? Or do you need a partner to help "motivate" you to do those things?

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Old Yesterday, 11:44 AM
 
639 posts, read 271,000 times
Reputation: 747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Completely taken out of context.

Since when does being happy with yourself mean you can't make self improvements and stay healthy? Or do you need a partner to help "motivate" you to do those things?

So by that reasoning, who's to say that finding a relationship and having a family is not life improvement concept for the OP? Same as as getting in better shape, or improving one's career? I guess someone really needs to articulate to me why people always seem to separate personal life improvement from all those other things.
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Old Yesterday, 12:08 PM
 
1,689 posts, read 3,622,749 times
Reputation: 1315
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxthinkpinkxo View Post
Iím a female turning 29 in a couple months and I am still single. Iíve been single about four years, following the end of a two-year relationship. I have dated plenty since then, but no relationships with legs have resulted. Iíve come to realize Iím pretty picky perhaps and I have actively been trying to give people more of a chance. So I did that and I was just dating a guy for several months up until June, really hoping itíd work out. Eventually it was clear we were just soo different though and forcing it was dragging out something that wasnt going to work out anyway. Now I am just feeling really discouraged. It sounds silly but at this time four years ago (24 going on 25), I never dreamed Iíd still be single four years later. I always envisioned myself marrying by 28, 29 or 30 at the latest. Now, itís looking like I might be 30 and still single. Most of my friends from high school are married or coupled up now which makes it even worse. I even have a friend who married at 24 (now pregnant with her second kid), who makes comments like ďthe guys in their 30s who are still single are mostly leftoversĒ and ďyou better hurry up if you want kids.Ē

I want a family and kids and all that too... but I donít want to settle for someone just because of that. My mom tells me not to rush it or worry but she married at 32 and had three kids very easily. If I knew I inherited her fertility perhaps Iíd feel better but I do think about the biological clock and having a couple kids before 35. Iíve tried practicing my moms mental approach but I still get literal anxiety attacks at times thinking about this.

Has anyone else dealt with this? For additional information, I lived in a rural part of Hawaii for about 2.5 of these past four years where the dating pool was slim so I always attributed it to that. I also traveled abroad an additional couple months of this time. But for the past year, Iíve lived in a big city with lots of prospects and still zilch relationship now, at almost age 29. I regret wasting five months dating this most recent guy that didnít work out, and I fear doing this again over the next year with new guys. If anyone has any tips it would be greatly appreciated.
Biological clocks... tick tick

You people with your desperation for parenthood and marriage. Your desperation is a repellent, think pheromones, you're not helping your chances.

Unfortunately not everyone is blessed by mother nature or father time, so make things happen. Want a kid? Go to a fertility clinic or Costa-Guata-Mexi-Rico. Want a man? As I stated somewhere else, the "grand love of my life" isn't for everyone, perhaps make your peace with that and get someone who meets a passable number of your must have qualities. Want companionship? Get a dog.
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Old Yesterday, 12:24 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,725 posts, read 4,942,207 times
Reputation: 12730
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton View Post
So by that reasoning, who's to say that finding a relationship and having a family is not life improvement concept for the OP? Same as as getting in better shape, or improving one's career? I guess someone really needs to articulate to me why people always seem to separate personal life improvement from all those other things.
Disclaimer: This is my belief.

I don't believe one's personal improvement should rely on the shoulders of another person. It's not someone else's job to improve your life. The most they should do is add to it. Too many people lose sight of that ideal due to being desperate for a partner. Am I saying you can't do all those things at the same time? No. But taking care of yourself should be for you, not for someone else. Whether you have a partner or you're single you always go back to that baseline of happiness.
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Old Yesterday, 12:33 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,266 posts, read 293,410 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
Biological clocks... tick tick

You people with your desperation for parenthood and marriage. Your desperation is a repellent, think pheromones, you're not helping your chances.
You know....I never thought this was a thing....until I wrote on City Data I made a decision not to have babies...........& people were so *convinced* nooo... that can't be how I really feel....because what female could possibly not want a baby?

A N D... there is thread after thread of people looking to be a parent or get married....sometimes wanting to get married just so they can have a baby......it's scary & it's no wonder there is so much divorce when people just can't be honest about their feelings & who or why they want to date............

Date because you *want* to date a man....N O T because you *need* something....whether it's a way to support yourself or a baby or someone to fill your holes emotionally..........it's not going to end well.
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