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Old 08-03-2019, 05:48 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,468,624 times
Reputation: 11291

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Some of you may remember this thread.
Am I horrible?

So I'm supposed to have a first date with a guy today. We met on a dating app last weekend and I messaged with him because he seemed to have a few basic things I look for. We have texted throughout the week and he seems quite keen. I have told him that it would be wise to contain any excitement until we actually meet in person (which he has struggled with and has irritated me, but whatever). Anyway, I am going to attempt to be positive and assume that the date is going to turn out super and that I like him a lot. Well it just occurred to me that he has his 15 yo son and I have my adult kid living with me for the next 6 months. I can tell you right now that I'm not having sex at my place. My kid is always home, always here, room is right next to mine, and WILL hear it. I don't know what his place is like, but, UGH, kids really complicate things no matter what. I know the kid is older, but he is still a minor and from what I can tell, Dad is a good dad and spends a lot of time with him. I'm not sure I feel like dealing with kids. I didn't really think about it until now because the kid is 15, but still....
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Old 08-03-2019, 05:49 AM
 
Location: Hampstead NC
5,623 posts, read 5,157,571 times
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Is it not possible that the kid spends some time at mom's house?
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Old 08-03-2019, 05:50 AM
 
Location: Hampstead NC
5,623 posts, read 5,157,571 times
Reputation: 14156
And...you have doubts about this guy before meeting, yet you are worrying about what to do with the kid when you have sex? Chances are reallllyyy good it's a non-issue.
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Old 08-03-2019, 05:52 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,468,624 times
Reputation: 11291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
And...you have doubts about this guy before meeting, yet you are worrying about what to do with the kid when you have sex? Chances are reallllyyy good it's a non-issue.

Okay.

Thanks.
I just needed someone to talk sense into me.
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Old 08-03-2019, 06:04 AM
 
1,076 posts, read 673,827 times
Reputation: 3279
It sounds like you're just deliberately trying to sabotage this thing before it even gets started. Instead of getting all wound up about what may or may not happen in the future, why don't you just go out with this guy and see how it goes? You might really hit it off! Or you might meet him and find there's nothing really there. It could go either way, so just chill out, look at it as and adventure and stop freaking out about nothing.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:31 AM
 
7,488 posts, read 11,632,825 times
Reputation: 8340
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Some of you may remember this thread.
Am I horrible?

So I'm supposed to have a first date with a guy today. We met on a dating app last weekend and I messaged with him because he seemed to have a few basic things I look for. We have texted throughout the week and he seems quite keen. I have told him that it would be wise to contain any excitement until we actually meet in person (which he has struggled with and has irritated me, but whatever). Anyway, I am going to attempt to be positive and assume that the date is going to turn out super and that I like him a lot. Well it just occurred to me that he has his 15 yo son and I have my adult kid living with me for the next 6 months. I can tell you right now that I'm not having sex at my place. My kid is always home, always here, room is right next to mine, and WILL hear it. I don't know what his place is like, but, UGH, kids really complicate things no matter what. I know the kid is older, but he is still a minor and from what I can tell, Dad is a good dad and spends a lot of time with him. I'm not sure I feel like dealing with kids. I didn't really think about it until now because the kid is 15, but still....
Just get a hotel.

I dated a woman and she had kids living with her and I was temporarily with my parents at the time.

So we took little trips and got hotel rooms.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:50 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,332 posts, read 56,148,866 times
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Your kid is ALWAYS home? No school, work, friends, time with father?

His kid will be at school or with friends too. And there are surely few nice hotels for a weekend trip and trying out sex. If all it's good, I am sure you could just contain yourself to less frequent encounters till your kid moves out. It might be worth it.
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Old 08-03-2019, 08:13 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,468,624 times
Reputation: 11291
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Just get a hotel.

I dated a woman and she had kids living with her and I was temporarily with my parents at the time.

So we took little trips and got hotel rooms.

That's not the kind of relationship I'm looking for.


Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
Your kid is ALWAYS home? No school, work, friends, time with father?

His kid will be at school or with friends too. And there are surely few nice hotels for a weekend trip and trying out sex. If all it's good, I am sure you could just contain yourself to less frequent encounters till your kid moves out. It might be worth it.

We work during the day and the kids are home in the evenings and weekends. We've talked about his kid a little bit. I don't think the kid has many friends and mom has asked dad that he spend more time with his son (because she's having some sort of trouble with him). I'm not really looking for the "get a hotel" type of relationship. I want a normal relationship where we get to be together all the time.
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Old 08-03-2019, 09:02 AM
 
5,664 posts, read 3,692,361 times
Reputation: 5496
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
We work during the day and the kids are home in the evenings and weekends. We've talked about his kid a little bit. I don't think the kid has many friends and mom has asked dad that he spend more time with his son (because she's having some sort of trouble with him). I'm not really looking for the "get a hotel" type of relationship. I want a normal relationship where we get to be together all the time.

but... you have a kid...
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Old 08-03-2019, 09:05 AM
 
8,185 posts, read 5,360,975 times
Reputation: 9403
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Just get a hotel.

I dated a woman and she had kids living with her and I was temporarily with my parents at the time.

So we took little trips and got hotel rooms.
There is a site in which you can rent a hotel room for a couple of hours. Dayuse.com

If it comes down to you two getting busy just rent a room for a couple of hours and then go home.
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