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Old Yesterday, 12:45 PM
 
154 posts, read 30,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
The other thing, what we THINK is the problem we have is not the problem we have.
Can't rep, but dead on accurate.
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Old Yesterday, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,698 posts, read 24,296,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
The other thing, what we THINK is the problem we have is not the problem we have. As with a person who thinks their primary problem is being unable to get a mate.
Oh, exactly. Often we see posts from people on this board who come out and say, "I can't get a date because of <reason>" The more they post and reveal about themselves and their personality and their motivations, it's quite obvious that the actual reason they're having trouble isn't at all what they think it is.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; Yesterday at 01:16 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 01:01 PM
 
12,677 posts, read 10,025,929 times
Reputation: 16332
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Oh, exactly. Often we see posts from people on this board who come out and say, "I can't get a date because of <reason>" The more they post and reveal about themselves and their personality, it's quite obvious that the actual reason they're having trouble isn't at all what they think it is.
Since we have kind of diverged into therapy land, the one thing that often crosses my mind is how easy it would be for someone of just the "right" kind of mental malfunction to abuse the snot out of these guys.
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Old Yesterday, 06:30 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,273 posts, read 298,144 times
Reputation: 1137
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
The other thing, what we THINK is the problem we have is not the problem we have. As with a person who thinks their primary problem is being unable to get a mate.
Ita.......he will still have the same problems internally.........
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Old Yesterday, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,590 posts, read 1,644,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan123 View Post
This or they don't want to hear what the therapist tells them or take any suggestions. They want to continue to do the same things that they have been doing but they want the results to be different. It doesn't work that way. Therapy is useless unless you are open to changing.
More often than not, therapists pull ideas out of their butt and pass them off as gospel. Like, you tell them about a problem (say, trouble getting dates), and they "suggest" (read: force on you) a reason that's nowhere close to the real one. Forget about being slightly off. So when you balk at the stupidity of it, they accuse you of being "resistant". You can't win with those charlatans! And they charge you for the privilege. That's like peeing on you and telling you it's rain.

I looked at the first post, and it said "Not a member" under the OP's username. Oh well. I hope he benefited from this thread while it lasted.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; Yesterday at 10:45 PM..
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Old Today, 04:37 AM
 
12,677 posts, read 10,025,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
More often than not, therapists pull ideas out of their butt and pass them off as gospel. Like, you tell them about a problem (say, trouble getting dates), and they "suggest" (read: force on you) a reason that's nowhere close to the real one.
I have never experienced that At All. Have you been to many therapists? Is there a chance, even just a chance, that you are just plain resistant to ideas that you don't like? I mean, it seems so here.

Not all therapists are good therapists. And not all therapists are good for every person. But every therapy engagement will fail if the patient is not open to even considering new ways of thinking. That is probably the best tool of therapy and therapists, the ability to adopt new ways of thinking. The goal is not to give you a solution they way McDonald's give you a Big Mac. It is to give you tools to make your own solutions.

Quote:
Forget about being slightly off. So when you balk at the stupidity of it, they accuse you of being "resistant".
Well you certainly seem so here. How many people tell you that before you even START to consider it might be true?

I told my husband for years that his way of thinking was out of kilter with reality. As did his family. As did his friends. In a kindly way, of course. He Would Not See. Consequence? He lost his wife of 25 years. Of course, you don't have a wife of 25 years to lose. But you have years and decades ahead of you to enjoy or suffer different consequences. Which will you choose?
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Old Today, 05:26 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,590 posts, read 1,644,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Not all therapists are good therapists. And not all therapists are good for every person. But every therapy engagement will fail if the patient is not open to even considering new ways of thinking. That is probably the best tool of therapy and therapists, the ability to adopt new ways of thinking. The goal is not to give you a solution they way McDonald's give you a Big Mac. It is to give you tools to make your own solutions.
What the hell does this even mean?

Therapy costs at least $100 an hour. I'd have to get promoted to Corporate VP before I can earn that much. So damn right I want an actual solution given to me, not the "toooools". And another thing: there shouldn't even be a "fit" between a therapist and a client. It's their job to actually help people, otherwise it's a cheap CYA tactic for their failure. With the money they charge relative to what they actually do, it's on them to figure out how to make the "fit" happen; I don't care how, just do it.

But I rest my case. I know I'm swimming against the tide of this therapy-worshiping cult of ours. Plus, it's off-topic.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; Today at 05:39 AM..
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Old Today, 05:48 AM
 
12,677 posts, read 10,025,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
What the hell does this even mean?

Therapy costs at least $100 an hour. I'd have to get promoted to Corporate VP before I can earn that much.
Why I support universal healthcare. No one should be denied care for lack of ability to pay. But honestly, $100 twice a month is reasonable in many employed people's budget.

Quote:
So damn right I want an actual solution given to me, not the "toooools".
Ever heard of the serenity prayer? God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference?

There IS NO ACTUAL SOLUTION to the problem you think you have. There is no one who can give you a pill to make you get a woman. Or a set of instructions. You think someone wouldn't have made millions by now if that existed?

Quote:
And another thing: there shouldn't
even be a "fit" between a therapist and a client. It's their job to actually help people, otherwise it's a cheap CYA tactic for their failure. With the money they charge relative to what they actually do, it's on them to figure out how to make the "fit" happen; I don't care how, just do it.

But I rest my case. I know I'm swimming against the tide of this therapy-worshiping cult of ours. Plus, it's off-topic.
How is that working for you? I guess someday a machine will exist that can look into the complicated weave of the mind and pinpoint the "problem". But that does not exist today. I guess you choose pain, disconnection and loneliness. That is certainly one choice.
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Old Today, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,590 posts, read 1,644,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
There IS NO ACTUAL SOLUTION to the problem you think you have. There is no one who can give you a pill to make you get a woman. Or a set of instructions. You think someone wouldn't have made millions by now if that existed?
Are you sure? The Pill for attracting a woman has been around since 2012. And it's Red. I wonder if it grew like wildfire specifically because it gives explanations and solutions, which the mainstream therapy does not.

Hey, you kind of walked into that one. I wonder if the OP has heard of it. I guess we'll never know.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; Today at 06:08 AM..
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Old Today, 07:08 AM
 
7,660 posts, read 3,016,254 times
Reputation: 12658
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Are you sure? The Pill for attracting a woman has been around since 2012. And it's Red. I wonder if it grew like wildfire specifically because it gives explanations and solutions, which the mainstream therapy does not.

Hey, you kind of walked into that one. I wonder if the OP has heard of it. I guess we'll never know.
Attracting women, or accepting the rejection of women and forming a united hostile front? Women view redpill as The Bitter Boys Club. I don’t think any of us read those corny buzzwords and 80/20 statistics and start sliding off of our chairs (if you know what I mean ). The only solutions it seems to be providing you with is how to turn that into: “you can’t fire me I quit” mentality.
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