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Old 08-03-2019, 04:57 PM
 
16 posts, read 6,531 times
Reputation: 27

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Have you ever even tried the "normal" way?

I can almost guarantee that paying a woman to spend time with you will not feel just like a girlfriend does.
Yeah. When I was younger (pre-teen to teen) I never even bothered to ask girls out, or even try to talk to them because I just intuitively had this conception (or you could say that I intuitively ďknewĒ) that there was no way they would like me, that I was undesirable, and they wouldnít even remotely be interested. Thus, I went my entire teen years never having a single girlfriend, (never even trying to approach them or ask them out), or having anything to do with girls whatsoever. I never attended any school functions, dances, proms, ballgames, parties, or anything of the sort. Not even once.

This continued into my early 20s when I started realizing something was not right, and I started to get really panicky that I was still a virgin and had never had any experience with women, and I was starting to get too old for this to be normal, and the world was leaving me behind. So I started trying to figure out what I needed to improve about myself, and how I needed to develop my personality and such so as to be attractive to women. So from the time I was about 23 to now I have put a lot of effort into personal development. I had two surgeries to correct a birth deformity I had (pectus excavatum). I hired a personal trainer to get fit, I consulted some life/dating coaches, etc... I also started going out with a buddy of mine to popular spots in the city to mingle with women. All this and much much more effort was put forth on my part.

Long story short, all this produced ZERO results, and I never even got close to a date, or even a phone number. Iím 28. Iíve still never had a girlfriend...EVER, and Iím still a virgin.

So now with my experiences, Iím virtually 100% certain that my initial assumptions I had as a teenager were correct - that it was indeed a waste of time for me to pursue women because them liking me was an impossibility in the most absolute sense of the word. Iíve always just intuitively assumed and known that this was the case. It always seemed obvious to me, and not something I needed to ďtryĒ or ďexploreĒ in order to find out. But I did try, and I gave it my best effort. I approached it with the best confidence and high spirits as humanly possible, and came out empty handed.

So thereís my story. Thatís why Iím tossing around the aforementioned idea.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:25 PM
 
12,667 posts, read 10,025,929 times
Reputation: 16322
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUndesirable View Post
Well, it was a little less complicated than that for me really. I think everyone knows what a girlfriend is, and what it means to be one.
Nope. Not even. I have a vastly different idea of what it is and what it means to be one that you do, I suspect. That is the thing. Since it involves PEOPLE, those people (both of them) have ideas of what they want from this relationship thing.

Quote:
Itís not just about sex for me. Itís about having someone in my life. Everyone else seems to have one, and I would like to experience that too at least once in my life. It was just an idea really. I guess I didnít really consider all that stuff. I surely donít intend to treat her like a robot. Iím also not familiar with the term ďgirlfriend insurance policyĒ. I guess Iím behind the times. Iím pretty simple. I just want a woman in my life, and Iím probably going to have to pay for it. Thatís my impression of things anyway.
I STRONGLY advise you get a better idea before you go there. Or you are going to get sooooo taken advantage of. If you are successful at all.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:27 PM
 
12,667 posts, read 10,025,929 times
Reputation: 16322
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUndesirable View Post
It was just a thought. Maybe itís a crappy idea. But I donít have any others. The normal route wonít work.
I agree 100% but probably not for the reason you think. You don't even know what you want or what a relationship is. That is an insurmountable obstacle to the "normal route" because the normal route has a normal destination in mind.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:34 PM
 
Location: northern New England
2,534 posts, read 1,111,345 times
Reputation: 9836
How would you feel about going out with an "Undesireable" woman? I get the feeling you are setting your sights pretty high in the GF dept. Try to find your female counterpart, a woman who doesn't ever get dates, and ask her out.
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Old 08-03-2019, 07:53 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,909 posts, read 20,236,661 times
Reputation: 12481
How about this? Create an OLD profile that says you’ll pay for dates to nice places, no strings attached. Be clear that you’re looking for a girlfriend, but if if there’s no chemistry, you will be happy to have met them.

Tell your dates they can bring a friend, if it makes them feel safer. Eventually you might meet someone who likes you.
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Old 08-03-2019, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,202 posts, read 17,534,098 times
Reputation: 42031
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
How would you feel about going out with an "Undesireable" woman? I get the feeling you are setting your sights pretty high in the GF dept. Try to find your female counterpart, a woman who doesn't ever get dates, and ask her out.
I agree.
I have some female relatives (in their late 20s/early 30s), who seem like they would be very date-able, pretty, intelligent, college educated, social, lots of friends, etc. They have said that many men their age only seem to want to date "younger women who are model thin and model beautiful". Average, or less than average, looking men are only asking out women who are an 8 or 9 or 10, and then they are upset when they get turned down.

So these women who are at least average if not above average sit at home every weekend dateless or go out with girlfriends.
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Old 08-03-2019, 09:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,150 posts, read 71,219,700 times
Reputation: 77292
Quote:
I’ve recently been thinking about how to get a girlfriend. I’ve actually been dwelling on this for years. But recently I’ve thought about the idea of just “hiring” a girlfriend.

I don’t mean like a prostitute. It would essentially be a situation wherein I pay a girl a salary to perform the functions of being my girlfriend.

I know this is the only way I could ever get close to having a girlfriend. If I had to go about it the normal way, I would never get one.

I’m okay with the “illusion” of love. I can convince myself it’s real. I don’t really care if she’s faking it. As long as I can pay for it and have it there. Seems it would cut through much of the bullcrap too, like the “courtship” and all that stuff that would just be long, tedious, and ultimately would wind up with me never getting anything from a woman.

What do you think of this?


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Old 08-04-2019, 12:39 AM
 
16 posts, read 6,531 times
Reputation: 27
I donít have high standards in women. Iíve asked all sorts of women out. Same answer in every case.

I actually donít gravitate to the 8-10s. Not unless there is something truly unique and special about her. I prefer average women with good personalities.

Iíve employed every bit of the platitudinous advice given to me. I havenít sat back and whined like a whiny loser. Iíve tried! Iíve worked my ass off to improve and gain something to offer. There is a barrier to my success with women that I can only explain as metaphysical in nature. Itís truly remarkable. Everyone else takes this stuff for granted, but I canít seem to find it anywhere.
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Old 08-04-2019, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,696 posts, read 24,296,270 times
Reputation: 49380
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUndesirable View Post
I don’t have high standards in women. I’ve asked all sorts of women out. Same answer in every case.

I actually don’t gravitate to the 8-10s. Not unless there is something truly unique and special about her. I prefer average women with good personalities.

I’ve employed every bit of the platitudinous advice given to me. I haven’t sat back and whined like a whiny loser. I’ve tried! I’ve worked my ass off to improve and gain something to offer. There is a barrier to my success with women that I can only explain as metaphysical in nature. It’s truly remarkable. Everyone else takes this stuff for granted, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere.
People say that we suggest therapy too often, but have you ever worked with a therapist? You sound like you have deeply internalized self-esteem issues stemming from childhood. Not everyone is going to be a lothario, but you just "know" that no woman will want to be with you without financial incentive? That's just not a healthy mindset. You want to acquire a woman so that you feel like you've accomplished something, but you're not asking how to be a partner or how to be in a relationship. She's going to validate you, but what would you bring to her life? Just money?

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 08-04-2019 at 07:55 AM..
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Old 08-04-2019, 07:21 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,909 posts, read 20,236,661 times
Reputation: 12481
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUndesirable View Post
I donít have high standards in women. Iíve asked all sorts of women out. Same answer in every case.

I actually donít gravitate to the 8-10s. Not unless there is something truly unique and special about her. I prefer average women with good personalities.

Iíve employed every bit of the platitudinous advice given to me. I havenít sat back and whined like a whiny loser. Iíve tried! Iíve worked my ass off to improve and gain something to offer. There is a barrier to my success with women that I can only explain as metaphysical in nature. Itís truly remarkable. Everyone else takes this stuff for granted, but I canít seem to find it anywhere.
You know, I was a pretty good ďcatchĒ back when I was younger, but like a lot of people here, it seemed impossible at times to find a decent boyfriend. Itís not as easy as it sounds. Thereís only so much you can do.

Stay open to finding someone. Try to be more social. Keep up the good work with your life and career. Live your life as well as possible.

Of course these are also platitudes, but you know itís the truth. Donít give up completely.
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