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Old 08-05-2019, 05:27 AM
 
16 posts, read 6,531 times
Reputation: 27

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Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

I’m basically saying that it’s all on me. It’s not the fault of women. Do people even read the whole posts and try to understand them?

Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-05-2019 at 04:11 PM..
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Old 08-05-2019, 07:24 AM
 
12,680 posts, read 10,025,929 times
Reputation: 16338
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Every pot has a lid. I wonder if the issue is your attitude towards the situation. How old are you? Unless you're in old age and got no interest from the opposite sex whatsoever, how can you determine it to be an impossibility?
Every pot does NOT have a lid.
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Old 08-05-2019, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Aberdeen
184 posts, read 274,151 times
Reputation: 424
Perhaps you might consider to use the extra cash on hiring a counselor or life coach to help you through your self confidence problems. You communicate well (on line at least) and spell well which shows that you have some sort of an education. You can think logically. You come across as well rounded and open minded. If what you say about your ventures is true then I don't care if you have a third eye, you shouldn't have a problem finding a suitable companion.


I can only assume that one of a few things is happening. You are looking in the wrong places. You are sabotaging yourself. I suspect it is the second on judging from the comments that you have made about it being impossible. It is not. I have met some really ugly people and people with absolutely NO personality that were both happily married to people that really loved them. You need help with you. When you believe in yourself, so will others and meeting a companion will be no problem.
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Old 08-05-2019, 10:09 AM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
Reputation: 892
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

I think that you should go to therapy to look at why you are looking at dating and other people in such a transactional way (as another poster put it) and so down on yourself and your prospects. There are attitudes that can be hugely offputting for other people and can affect your dating success. Another poster here who has seen your pictures doesn't think it's about your looks. I'd say this is about attitude (something that is more important than looks, in my view.) We all want positive people in our lives who see themselves as worthy.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-05-2019 at 04:13 PM..
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Old 08-05-2019, 10:10 AM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
Reputation: 892
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Every pot does NOT have a lid.
I suppose for a few people who want a partner they may not find one. But the majority of people I've known who wanted a partner have found one.

If a person wants to remain single, then that's fine.
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Old 08-05-2019, 12:12 PM
 
16 posts, read 6,531 times
Reputation: 27
Well, I guess if I were to look at my situation objectively, I would say that attitude could very well be a part of it, but I still maintain that so are my looks. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two. Which one is more to blame than the other for my failure, that I’m not sure. I would like to still keep working at it. I know that being a 28 y/o virgin with no girlfriend is not fun.
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Old 08-05-2019, 12:20 PM
 
1,689 posts, read 3,624,133 times
Reputation: 1315
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheUndesirable View Post
I’ve recently been thinking about how to get a girlfriend. I’ve actually been dwelling on this for years. But recently I’ve thought about the idea of just “hiring” a girlfriend.

I don’t mean like a prostitute. It would essentially be a situation wherein I pay a girl a salary to perform the functions of being my girlfriend.

I know this is the only way I could ever get close to having a girlfriend. If I had to go about it the normal way, I would never get one.

I’m okay with the “illusion” of love. I can convince myself it’s real. I don’t really care if she’s faking it. As long as I can pay for it and have it there. Seems it would cut through much of the bullcrap too, like the “courtship” and all that stuff that would just be long, tedious, and ultimately would wind up with me never getting anything from a woman.

What do you think of this?
If you have enough money to "hire" a girlfriend then you should be able to get a girlfriend. Flaunt your money and someone should come. We all know there are those that only see $$$ as a criteria

Also what would be these GF functions you mention? LOL
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Old 08-05-2019, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,663 posts, read 42,288,240 times
Reputation: 84159
Why will you not say what you mean by "performing the functions of a girlfriend"?

Would you only want her to go out in public? Would you expect her to hang out at home? Meet your family?

What specifically do you think the functions of a girlfriend are?
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Old 08-05-2019, 02:30 PM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
Reputation: 892
Quote:
And can we please stop with this idea that if a man is trying to get a girlfriend, he’s somehow a “sexist pig” who views women as “objects”?
I don't think people on here see you as treating women like objects because you want a girlfriend. I think some on here think that this idea of paying someone for affection and sex long term is very problematic, has the potential to affect your self esteem long term (i.e. "I can only get someone if I am paying them") and also does link in with the toxic belief that women are objects who will sell themselves to the highest bidder.

You may feel that women are both subjects and objects, but I don't recommend you treat them as objects or make your views known that women are to be objectified. This is very off-putting to most women and will affect your success in dating. We are most definitely human beings, not objects and we don't like being seen as such. I've been with different types of men, some attractive, some considered not attractive. The thing that attracted me to them was their personality, confidence and attitude. I wouldn't be interested in anyone who objectifies me or thinks it's normal for women to trade company, affection or sex for money.

I really think you should spend your money on therapy and explore your issues around self esteem and confidence. Mentally healthy people get therapy, too. You can do so much better, and you are worth more than this sad arrangement you're proposing, OP.
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Old 08-05-2019, 02:37 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,725 posts, read 4,946,606 times
Reputation: 12735
Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.

OP, what do you think paying for a girlfriend is? Objectifying and looking at a woman as if she is some sort of accessory to make YOUR life more tolerable. Does that not seem unreasonable and unnatural to you? I understand the desire to share your life with someone and how frustrating dating can be, but to go as far as to come up with this? It's obvious there are deeper issues going on with you that should be addressed by a professional. The bolded is especially concerning.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-05-2019 at 04:19 PM..
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