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Old 08-05-2019, 06:24 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,275 posts, read 298,144 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I was talking to my buddy the other day. Recently divorced, scared to enter the dating pool. He was talking about being worried. I was like, um, you are sleeping with me and one other woman. I don't think you are going to have a problem. lol
He might......having noncommitted sex doesn't mean you are good at dating....or good dating material....like my ex!
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Old 08-05-2019, 06:24 PM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
As a woman (if your username is what it sounds like), you can find true lust any day. Most men aren't so lucky.
I don't personally know many men who've never had sex with at least one person they lusted after at some point.
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Old 08-05-2019, 06:25 PM
 
12,680 posts, read 10,025,929 times
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Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
He might......having noncommitted sex doesn't mean you are good at dating....or good dating material....like my ex!
He's going to be fine, fine.
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Old 08-05-2019, 10:36 PM
 
791 posts, read 203,227 times
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Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I don't personally know many men who've never had sex with at least one person they lusted after at some point.

We're out there.
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Old 08-06-2019, 04:09 AM
 
12,680 posts, read 10,025,929 times
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Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I don't personally know many men who've never had sex with at least one person they lusted after at some point.
One of the things you pretty much never see on these forums is representation from women who are Just Fine with casual sex, or friendly sex without commitment. As far as problems go, this one is non-existent for many women. How do I find a genuine friend with benefits? For many of us it is quite easy if we tend to have good male friends at all. But sex positive women who are not interested in a committed relationship at the present exist and want partners too. And good men have sex with them. Um us.
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Old 08-06-2019, 04:35 AM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
But sex positive women who are not interested in a committed relationship at the present exist and want partners too. And good men have sex with them. Um us.
Good for you. I'd love to have no strings sex but I get attached pretty much from day one, it can be painful if the other person is not interested in anything more. And it can be a problem if they are not a suitable partner, I usually still want to be with them if I start having sex.
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Old 08-06-2019, 04:50 AM
 
12,680 posts, read 10,025,929 times
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Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Good for you. I'd love to have no strings sex but I get attached pretty much from day one, it can be painful if the other person is not interested in anything more. And it can be a problem if they are not a suitable partner, I usually still want to be with them if I start having sex.
Yah it does not work always and with everyone. I have a really good friend. He is coming off a toxic marriage as am I. We've been friends for decades. In addition to meals, doing stuff, talking, we also have mind blowing, soul restoring sex. I'll take it! Neither one of us has any interest in a relationship At All. So it works. I can see how it can be a tough thing to negotiate though.
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Old 08-06-2019, 04:56 AM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Yah it does not work always and with everyone. I have a really good friend. He is coming off a toxic marriage as am I. We've been friends for decades. In addition to meals, doing stuff, talking, we also have mind blowing, soul restoring sex. I'll take it! Neither one of us has any interest in a relationship At All. So it works. I can see how it can be a tough thing to negotiate though.
I envy you! I'm just not wired in that way. Lol.
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Old 08-06-2019, 05:06 AM
 
12,680 posts, read 10,025,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I envy you! I'm just not wired in that way. Lol.
One thought, if it is even remotely interesting, you may not be WIRED that way. You may be conditioned that way. Lord knows, girls are taught their value rests in their ability to get and keep a man and that sex is not for them to enjoy.
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Old 08-06-2019, 05:13 AM
 
475 posts, read 89,142 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
One thought, if it is even remotely interesting, you may not be WIRED that way. You may be conditioned that way. Lord knows, girls are taught their value rests in their ability to get and keep a man and that sex is not for them to enjoy.
No I don't think it's that. I'm very interested in sex and would rather be having lots of it. I don't see my value as being linked to my relationship status.

I was told by a therapist that it's biological, in that most women produce a lot of oxytocin when they first have sex with a new partner, and this is the bonding hormone, so it creates feelings of closeness and bonding with someone when you have sex and causes you to want to do it again. Men produce it too, but in much smaller amounts.

People who don't feel that effect may be less sensitive to the effects of oxytocin.

The Truth Behind Why Women Find It Harder To Have Casual Sex Than Men Do
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