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Old Today, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
818 posts, read 265,034 times
Reputation: 1280

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Your friend is correct. Why should HE arrange the second date? Plan it out, ask him out, pick him up.
Sho nuff... Sometimes it is hard for a guy to tell if the woman doesn't make it 100% clear.

Honestly - as a guy gets older, I think he gets braver and takes more chances. I know that was the case for me. I am not nearly as shy or introverted as I was in my twenties. Now, I take a lot more chances and realize - nothing ventured, nothing gained. We have this imaginary horrible situation in our heads - but when you really think about it.... Quite often, what is the worst that can happen.

However - he may have been afraid to take the next move. Or, maybe he is a serial dater, or not interested, as stated above, You'll never know now...
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Old Today, 08:48 AM
 
694 posts, read 142,838 times
Reputation: 1365
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterShipWreck View Post
Sho nuff... Sometimes it is hard for a guy to tell if the woman doesn't make it 100% clear.

Honestly - as a guy gets older, I think he gets braver and takes more chances. I know that was the case for me. I am not nearly as shy or introverted as I was in my twenties. Now, I take a lot more chances and realize - nothing ventured, nothing gained. We have this imaginary horrible situation in our heads - but when you really think about it.... Quite often, what is the worst that can happen.

However - he may have been afraid to take the next move. Or, maybe he is a serial dater, or not interested, as stated above, You'll never know now...
Actually, the inference of my comment is today, the old rules are retired. If women can work like a man, they can pay like a man. Everybody is equal now. Chicks are just as capable of picking up a dude as vice versa.
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Old Today, 08:54 AM
 
7,638 posts, read 3,002,418 times
Reputation: 12595
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterShipWreck View Post
Sho nuff... Sometimes it is hard for a guy to tell if the woman doesn't make it 100% clear.

Honestly - as a guy gets older, I think he gets braver and takes more chances. I know that was the case for me. I am not nearly as shy or introverted as I was in my twenties. Now, I take a lot more chances and realize - nothing ventured, nothing gained. We have this imaginary horrible situation in our heads - but when you really think about it.... Quite often, what is the worst that can happen.

However - he may have been afraid to take the next move. Or, maybe he is a serial dater, or not interested, as stated above, You'll never know now...
Right with you, the older I get I do more often use “what’s the worse that can happen” as my little push. I already experienced the worst that could happen, and survived just fine.

That’s why the OP’s use of becoming more vague in her response as she became irritated in the speed of getting to the next date, essentially was the equivalent to shutting the whole thing down on her own terms: “We aren't getting where I want to go, I’m not going to act as excited about you, making you feel uncertain, now at least I have a conclusion. Bye boy!”

Did it to herself.
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Old Today, 10:18 AM
 
14,491 posts, read 17,463,326 times
Reputation: 11286
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
But when you're doing online dating, you can't just assume that traditional dating norms are in play. If she wants to see him again, and she doesn't want to be texting pen pals, then she needs to use her words and say that.

That is true sometimes, and probably why she asked in her OP if she should put that in her profile.
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Old Today, 10:21 AM
 
14,491 posts, read 17,463,326 times
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I am also likely to lose interest in a guy who texts and texts but doesn't ask me out. But I'm not going to be upset if he ghosts or stops texting.
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Old Today, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,516 posts, read 4,333,784 times
Reputation: 5313
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I am also likely to lose interest in a guy who texts and texts but doesn't ask me out. But I'm not going to be upset if he ghosts or stops texting.
As you should be. I follow the old rule nobody cares about anymore, which is ask a woman out for the weekend no later than Wednesday of that week. It may be a phone call or a text, although with all the rules these days, its hard to know if a woman will even take your call.
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Old Today, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
818 posts, read 265,034 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Actually, the inference of my comment is today, the old rules are retired. If women can work like a man, they can pay like a man.
For some things - no. Not when you are my age - almost 50.

I re-entered the dating game just over 2.5 years ago. I VERY QUICKLY learned that the women my age seem to expect the man to pay for the dinner everytime. It was a bit of an eye opener, actually. I thought that wasn't a thing anymore.

I very clearly had that made apparent to me by 1 woman. We did not stay together... And, I have another girlfriend now. But, I soon learned that anyone I dated expected me to pay.
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Old Today, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
818 posts, read 265,034 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I am also likely to lose interest in a guy who texts and texts but doesn't ask me out. But I'm not going to be upset if he ghosts or stops texting.
See, I've had experience with women who will text forever - but as soon as you try to set a date, that's it. Never hear from them again.

Someone told me that these are probably women already in relationships, just getting an ego boost. But, who knows...
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Old Today, 11:43 AM
 
694 posts, read 142,838 times
Reputation: 1365
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterShipWreck View Post
women my age seem to expect the man to pay for the dinner every time.
anyone I dated expected me to pay.
Do you think that is right or fair or reasonable? I don't. That's why I posted to the original poster that she has no reason not to take the initiative.
I know I can't change the world but those were my two cents.
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Old Today, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
818 posts, read 265,034 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Do you think that is right or fair or reasonable? I don't. That's why I posted to the original poster that she has no reason not to take the initiative.
I know I can't change the world but those were my two cents.
No,I do not think this is fair, but I live with it. It is even the same with my current girlfriend, but I do not mind so much now. We have a great time at the meal, and a great time after.

But I too also said earlier that she could take the initiative.
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