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Old 08-07-2019, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,730 posts, read 33,631,910 times
Reputation: 32554

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
NOPE, no 2nd chance here...NOT when everyone has a cell phone attached to their hip these days & it would have only taken a quick second to text you really fast that he couldn't make it. Plus, there are phones at his work too that he could have used for a quick second.

Just think, he could have texted you really quick when he was on his lunch break, walking to or from the bathroom, etc. during his "busy work day", so just being busy is NO excuse for me & it shouldn't be a legit excuse for ANYONE anymore.

Men/people need to learn that they can't treat people like this, but it's up to the ones they're treating like disposable trash to hold firm & stand up to them & NOT buckle.
Did you miss the part where he did text her after work? During a busy work day a person you just met ain’t gonna be the first thing on their mind. People should check their importance. She ended up ghosting him and as I see it she did him a huge favor.
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Old 08-08-2019, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,597 posts, read 8,242,306 times
Reputation: 5335
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Did you miss the part where he did text her after work? During a busy work day a person you just met ainít gonna be the first thing on their mind. People should check their importance. She ended up ghosting him and as I see it she did him a huge favor.
Yep, I saw that part. That's all the more for him to want to contact her ASAP. This is all brand new & exciting, so he should be more eager & again like I said, he could have done quick text on his way to the bathroom or something saying something like, "busy day, will reply ". Now how long did that take? They're not in some mundane rut & have been dating 5 yrs or something already.

Hey, whatever she wants to do. If she chose to ghost him, good.
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Old 08-08-2019, 05:51 PM
 
9,096 posts, read 5,233,784 times
Reputation: 10355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
Recently, I was beginning to talk to someone I met from online. We had a good convo on the phone before meeting up. When we met in person, we discussed tentatively meeting up the next day to go for breakfast. He mentioned that he would reach out the next day to schedule plans. The next day comes and I donít hear from him until the evening (canít remember if it was the evening or the following day). I gave him the cold shoulder because he pretty much stood me up. I told him why I was perturbed with him and he did not see an issue. He apologized, mentioned that he got called into work unexpectedly and had a busy day. We talked on the phone and I mentioned that I would consider wanting to talk to him again. He follows up the next day to check on me and I ghosted him.
This was a communication problem. The breakfast plan was tentative, not solid. Your expectation was that he would call early, but instead life happened and he called late.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Moving?!
219 posts, read 53,039 times
Reputation: 316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
This was a communication problem. The breakfast plan was tentative, not solid. Your expectation was that he would call early, but instead life happened and he called late.
IMO there is little use for tentative plans less than 24 hours out between two people who have met only once. If both people aren't able to commit to a time and place, why not just wait until you can?
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Old 08-10-2019, 08:25 AM
 
1,230 posts, read 1,367,213 times
Reputation: 1935
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
Recently, I was beginning to talk to someone I met from online. We had a good convo on the phone before meeting up. When we met in person, we discussed tentatively meeting up the next day to go for breakfast. He mentioned that he would reach out the next day to schedule plans. The next day comes and I donít hear from him until the evening (canít remember if it was the evening or the following day). I gave him the cold shoulder because he pretty much stood me up. I told him why I was perturbed with him and he did not see an issue. He apologized, mentioned that he got called into work unexpectedly and had a busy day. We talked on the phone and I mentioned that I would consider wanting to talk to him again. He follows up the next day to check on me and I ghosted him.



Why would you mention considering talking to him again and ghosting him when he contacts you the next day? Ghosting is a coward, inconsiderate act. No, you shouldn't have given him a second chance. He deserves better.
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Old 08-10-2019, 08:58 AM
 
7,767 posts, read 3,048,473 times
Reputation: 12783
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225 View Post
This. I would have given him a second chance. Things happen.
I give second chances.
But not to someone who tells me they're 'perturbed with me' and why, after one date. Maybe the guy is the one who's not giving the second chance here.
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Old 08-10-2019, 10:07 AM
 
1,433 posts, read 567,452 times
Reputation: 3197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
Recently, I was beginning to talk to someone I met from online. We had a good convo on the phone before meeting up. When we met in person, we discussed tentatively meeting up the next day to go for breakfast. He mentioned that he would reach out the next day to schedule plans. The next day comes and I don’t hear from him until the evening (can’t remember if it was the evening or the following day). I gave him the cold shoulder because he pretty much stood me up. I told him why I was perturbed with him and he did not see an issue. He apologized, mentioned that he got called into work unexpectedly and had a busy day. We talked on the phone and I mentioned that I would consider wanting to talk to him again. He follows up the next day to check on me and I ghosted him.
No I wouldn't have given this person a 2nd chance. Reason # 1.He could have easily sent you a text message OR left you a VM once he was called into work unexpectedly(like ON his way to work..before he even got there)..but he didn't.
#2. When you explained to him WHY you had given him the cold shoulder and "he did not see an issue"..that should have sealed it for me.
Now by you ghosting him...you lowered yourself to his level.You shouldn't have done that cowardly action.You just shouldn't have given him a 2nd chance to begin with and told him that you were no longer interested in taking anything further.Period.
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Old 08-13-2019, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
2,055 posts, read 1,326,946 times
Reputation: 4400
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I give second chances.
But not to someone who tells me they're 'perturbed with me' and why, after one date. Maybe the guy is the one who's not giving the second chance here.
Good point.
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Old 08-13-2019, 08:53 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,103 posts, read 8,433,370 times
Reputation: 11637
You said the plans were tentative. He got called into work and followed up with you that evening. Then you ghost him...and we are supposed to believe he is the flake? Getting called into work is more important than some person you JUST met and had one date with. Was he supposed to drop everything to keep your plans that weren't even plans??
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Old 08-15-2019, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Aberdeen
190 posts, read 275,416 times
Reputation: 434
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
... He apologized, mentioned that he got called into work unexpectedly and had a busy day. We talked on the phone and I mentioned that I would consider wanting to talk to him again. He follows up the next day to check on me and I ghosted him.

I don't get you. You tell him why you are upset. He apologizes and tries to mend things, shows you he is interested by being more communicative the next day and you ghost him?!?
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