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Old 08-04-2019, 05:36 PM
 
20 posts, read 6,226 times
Reputation: 15

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Recently, I was beginning to talk to someone I met from online. We had a good convo on the phone before meeting up. When we met in person, we discussed tentatively meeting up the next day to go for breakfast. He mentioned that he would reach out the next day to schedule plans. The next day comes and I donít hear from him until the evening (canít remember if it was the evening or the following day). I gave him the cold shoulder because he pretty much stood me up. I told him why I was perturbed with him and he did not see an issue. He apologized, mentioned that he got called into work unexpectedly and had a busy day. We talked on the phone and I mentioned that I would consider wanting to talk to him again. He follows up the next day to check on me and I ghosted him.
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Old 08-04-2019, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
722 posts, read 133,994 times
Reputation: 1130
I probably wouldn't get together again with someone who said they would be in touch and wasn't. But that's just me...I don't like dealing with people who say they'll call and don't. I like someone reliable. In my experience, how it starts is how it will go on.
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Old 08-04-2019, 06:14 PM
 
2,341 posts, read 819,159 times
Reputation: 5988
I'm pretty laid-back but I would have given him a second chance. He did not "stand you up"- were you all dressed up and ready to go somewhere and he never showed? That's being stood up.

Early in the relationship with the guy I'm now seeing, he showed up way late for a lunch date. I didn't have his phone number- only e-mail. He had the wrong restaurant in his head so showed up at the wrong place. I knew that he'd retired at age 61 from his legal practice as a public defender after burning out and not showing up when he was supposed to, being in one place when he was supposed to be someplace else, getting his schedule messed up...I figured he may still have had that quirk.

He was very apologetic, we had a nice lunch and the rest is history. Sometimes he's 5 or 10 minutes late but that's it and I can tolerate that. I'm glad I didn't just write him off.
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Old 08-04-2019, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,717 posts, read 33,620,076 times
Reputation: 32539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
Recently, I was beginning to talk to someone I met from online. We had a good convo on the phone before meeting up. When we met in person, we discussed tentatively meeting up the next day to go for breakfast. He mentioned that he would reach out the next day to schedule plans. The next day comes and I donít hear from him until the evening (canít remember if it was the evening or the following day). I gave him the cold shoulder because he pretty much stood me up. I told him why I was perturbed with him and he did not see an issue. He apologized, mentioned that he got called into work unexpectedly and had a busy day. We talked on the phone and I mentioned that I would consider wanting to talk to him again. He follows up the next day to check on me and I ghosted him.
So you ghosted him even though he technically did not ghost you? Nice. I think you did him a favor from my vantage point.
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Old 08-04-2019, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Moving?!
217 posts, read 52,063 times
Reputation: 316
I disagree that he stood you up.. but I personally might not date someone who waits until the day of to schedule plans for breakfast.

You've already introduced a game-playing aspect here with ghosting him. However, if the first date was promising, it wouldn't hurt to reach back out.
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Old 08-04-2019, 08:41 PM
 
Location: california
5,724 posts, read 4,930,877 times
Reputation: 6766
Reverse it . I you are the working joe and work calls you in demand that's valuable. and his loyalty to work in this day and age is critical . He hardly knows you ,
To whom does he have the greater investment . a job or a stranger ???
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Old 08-04-2019, 09:14 PM
 
1,636 posts, read 613,492 times
Reputation: 3516
That is not what I would call getting "stood up". Sounds like he got called in to work and had a busy day. It would have been nice if he could have let you know he was called into work, but he didn't. But you were not waiting at a spot to meet him at an exact time. He was going to call, but things never got that far since he had to go to work. And he did call once he got off work. Life happens, and the good thing is he is employed.

I guess am am more laid back, too, and would have tried to set up a new time/place.
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Old 08-05-2019, 03:56 AM
 
12,386 posts, read 13,680,381 times
Reputation: 14435
Way to handle that like a two year old.

You showed him.
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Old 08-05-2019, 04:46 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,508 posts, read 56,315,764 times
Reputation: 90695
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Way to handle that like a two year old.

You showed him.
Right. And then creates a new thread about that no one wants to date her...
Quote:
Iíve lost a lot of weight in the past 2 years and still donít get approached by guys.
Quote:
almost every guy that has asked me out Iíve rejected. I donít feel the vibe and/or find them attractive.
Quote:
guys I find cute donít approach me.
Was he attractive? Did you feel the vibe?
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Old 08-05-2019, 06:20 AM
 
1,088 posts, read 681,424 times
Reputation: 3331
I think you overreacted and this is the type of thing that is the reason why you're having so much trouble finding a boyfriend while your ex keeps finding and dating other people. Adjust your attitude and you might have better luck.
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