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I just don’t get it. I am always single, literally always. I’m told I’m attractive and what not but never get approached by guys. I’ve lost weight and am always single. I did not have an actual short term relationship until I was 23, mind you I was on dating apps previously.
I never was pursued before by guys I liked, which is why I was always single. The last guy I “dated” was in long term relationships before talking to me. People that saw what he looked like when he was dating me said he was unattractive and mentioned that I could have done better. Mind you, he has been in relationships with good looking women.
He moved on within a few weeks after we stopped dating and this women wasn’t bad looking either.
How can someone unattractive like him get women so easily? While someone like myself, whose told she’s attractive, always be single? I sound bitter and jealous because I am, I want to move on but can never find a boyfriend. And I wish I never dated him/ saved myself for someone closer to my standards and worth my while.
A few people have told me I’m attractive, not only family and friends
Bitterness tends to transcend other aspects of your life. This may be coming across, since "attractiveness" encompasses many different traits besides just your weight.
WE, of course, can't diagnose your lack of love life from here, except to throw out guesses based on the few clues you provide. But dissatisfaction is not an attractive trait, and not everyone YOU are attracted to will be attracted to you.
I would stop looking outward and comparing your supposed lack to whatever others are doing.
What some of the others posters have said, is true. If you are unhappy and/or bitter, it does show. So you do have to be conscious of what you say and how you say it.
This is the beginning of the Fall season, which is a time for new beginnings. Why not try some new activities, which may give you the opportunity to meet more people, just as friends. Try a new way to spend time -- join the local Toastmaster's Club, a place where people are learning to improve their public speaking skills in order to, perhaps, advance on their job. Or a coed softball team through the park district in your city. Or maybe the Sierra Club, which has singles' hike and potlucks? Or, volunteer to work on a campaign for a political candidate - the election season is getting close. Join a religious organization, volunteer for a cause. And keep up with the activity -- don't quit too soon. There are so many things you can do which, in addition to giving you more self-confidence, can help you meet friends.
Sometime, perhaps when you least expect it, you may meet someone special. Yes, it can be harder in these times, because statistically, fewer people are marrying. But remember, many people have happy, loving marriages with partners who do not look like a prince or princess. You could be missing out on a great person if you jump to conclusions too fast. Of course, if you have a gut feeling about safety, of course listen to that. But if you happen to meet a pleasant person and he is out enjoying a hobby, taking a class, or volunteering for a cause, talk and be pleasant, even if he does not have movie star looks. Might be a nice guy.
Good luck --
Holly
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