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Old 08-04-2019, 05:39 PM
 
20 posts, read 2,495 times
Reputation: 10

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I just donít get it. I am always single, literally always. Iím told Iím attractive and what not but never get approached by guys. Iíve lost weight and am always single. I did not have an actual short term relationship until I was 23, mind you I was on dating apps previously.

I never was pursued before by guys I liked, which is why I was always single. The last guy I ďdatedĒ was in long term relationships before talking to me. People that saw what he looked like when he was dating me said he was unattractive and mentioned that I could have done better. Mind you, he has been in relationships with good looking women.

He moved on within a few weeks after we stopped dating and this women wasnít bad looking either.

How can someone unattractive like him get women so easily? While someone like myself, whose told sheís attractive, always be single? I sound bitter and jealous because I am, I want to move on but can never find a boyfriend. And I wish I never dated him/ saved myself for someone closer to my standards and worth my while.

 
Old 08-04-2019, 05:41 PM
 
3,778 posts, read 1,477,450 times
Reputation: 7390
"How can someone unattractive like him get women so easily?"
money?
 
Old 08-04-2019, 05:42 PM
 
836 posts, read 185,472 times
Reputation: 1678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
I could have done better.
someone closer to my standards and worth my while.
Just lower your standards.
 
Old 08-04-2019, 05:43 PM
 
5,337 posts, read 2,840,033 times
Reputation: 9783
It’s a 2 way street you don’t have to be entitled to be “pursued”.
 
Old 08-04-2019, 05:44 PM
 
435 posts, read 82,071 times
Reputation: 800
Maybe give people a chance - including the ones you don't instantly feel attraction with but who are otherwise not unattractive. Attraction can grow.
 
Old 08-04-2019, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,655 posts, read 42,273,122 times
Reputation: 84136
Probably because of this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post

I sound bitter and jealous because I am...
Who told you you can do better, your mom?
 
Old 08-04-2019, 05:56 PM
 
20 posts, read 2,495 times
Reputation: 10
A few people have told me Iím attractive, not only family and friends
 
Old 08-04-2019, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,655 posts, read 42,273,122 times
Reputation: 84136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
A few people have told me Iím attractive, not only family and friends
Bitterness tends to transcend other aspects of your life. This may be coming across, since "attractiveness" encompasses many different traits besides just your weight.

WE, of course, can't diagnose your lack of love life from here, except to throw out guesses based on the few clues you provide. But dissatisfaction is not an attractive trait, and not everyone YOU are attracted to will be attracted to you.


I would stop looking outward and comparing your supposed lack to whatever others are doing.
 
Old 08-04-2019, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,680 posts, read 33,572,993 times
Reputation: 32469
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Maybe give people a chance - including the ones you don't instantly feel attraction with but who are otherwise not unattractive. Attraction can grow.
Disagree. Garbage never smells better as time passes.
 
Old 08-04-2019, 08:38 PM
 
1,624 posts, read 605,289 times
Reputation: 3497
Hi Dsg1194 --

What some of the others posters have said, is true. If you are unhappy and/or bitter, it does show. So you do have to be conscious of what you say and how you say it.

This is the beginning of the Fall season, which is a time for new beginnings. Why not try some new activities, which may give you the opportunity to meet more people, just as friends. Try a new way to spend time -- join the local Toastmaster's Club, a place where people are learning to improve their public speaking skills in order to, perhaps, advance on their job. Or a coed softball team through the park district in your city. Or maybe the Sierra Club, which has singles' hike and potlucks? Or, volunteer to work on a campaign for a political candidate - the election season is getting close. Join a religious organization, volunteer for a cause. And keep up with the activity -- don't quit too soon. There are so many things you can do which, in addition to giving you more self-confidence, can help you meet friends.

Sometime, perhaps when you least expect it, you may meet someone special. Yes, it can be harder in these times, because statistically, fewer people are marrying. But remember, many people have happy, loving marriages with partners who do not look like a prince or princess. You could be missing out on a great person if you jump to conclusions too fast. Of course, if you have a gut feeling about safety, of course listen to that. But if you happen to meet a pleasant person and he is out enjoying a hobby, taking a class, or volunteering for a cause, talk and be pleasant, even if he does not have movie star looks. Might be a nice guy.

Good luck --

Holly
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