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Old 08-05-2019, 01:19 PM
 
401 posts, read 67,776 times
Reputation: 533

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
So Iím 25 and never really dated. I was chubby growing up and never asked out like other girls. Iíve lost a lot of weight in the past 2 years and still donít get approached by guys.

When i was asked out later in HS, they were not by guys Iíd want to date and ended up saying no. That is how itís been: almost every guy that has asked me out Iíve rejected. I donít feel the vibe and/or find them attractive.

What upsets me is I donít think Iím ugly and people have told me Iím attractive, so why do I only get asked out by unattractive guys? I think itís unfair to me because I do put in effort into my appearance. Iíve ďdatedĒ here and there for a few months but never by the guy Iíd like to date because the guys I find cute donít approach me. And no , I refuse to approach a guy first. My mother says itís because I havenít found the right guy and thatís true but I dunno...
Yes. It's shallow and entitled. You probably have a hardcore RBF too.

 
Old 08-05-2019, 01:47 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,156 posts, read 12,961,665 times
Reputation: 31634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
So Iím 25 and never really dated. I was chubby growing up and never asked out like other girls. Iíve lost a lot of weight in the past 2 years and still donít get approached by guys.

When i was asked out later in HS, they were not by guys Iíd want to date and ended up saying no. That is how itís been: almost every guy that has asked me out Iíve rejected. I donít feel the vibe and/or find them attractive.

What upsets me is I donít think Iím ugly and people have told me Iím attractive, so why do I only get asked out by unattractive guys? I think itís unfair to me because I do put in effort into my appearance. Iíve ďdatedĒ here and there for a few months but never by the guy Iíd like to date because the guys I find cute donít approach me. And no , I refuse to approach a guy first. My mother says itís because I havenít found the right guy and thatís true but I dunno...
I might be totally off but you come across as very entitled. Just because you lost weight doesn't mean every hot guy has to want you.

Maybe you look okay now but your mindset it not attractive to guys. Maybe you aren't as good looking as you think you are. Maybe your friends call you attractive because you look much better than you used to. And apparently, guys like your looks, just not the hot ones.

Seems like you get approached often enough, just not from the guys you want. Maybe lower your standards.
 
Old 08-05-2019, 02:23 PM
 
7,995 posts, read 9,785,498 times
Reputation: 14158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
I donít feel the vibe and/or find them attractive.

You'd be amazed at how "attractive" some people become when you get to know their personality, humor, forgiveness, honestly, compassion, humility......
 
Old 08-05-2019, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,994 posts, read 3,904,713 times
Reputation: 16716
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Personality has a lot to do with it too ya know.

Smile more, be friendly to guys you are attracted to, etc.

Most of the time I keep the Ďleave me alone or I will kill youí face on. It kills any chance of people talking to me. Donít be that face.
You didnít listen to your mom when she said... stop that or youíre face will stay that way did you? 😂
 
Old 08-05-2019, 08:23 PM
 
11,523 posts, read 2,854,426 times
Reputation: 5316
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Just because you lost weight doesn't mean every hot guy has to want you.
It's the typical fat person's delusion: When I lose the weight, I will______________ Fill in the blank with every fantasy.

They forget that they are the same person they were before, only thinner.
 
Old 08-05-2019, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,200 posts, read 17,527,296 times
Reputation: 42023
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
You'd be amazed at how "attractive" some people become when you get to know their personality, humor, forgiveness, honestly, compassion, humility......
Well said.
 
Old 08-05-2019, 11:57 PM
 
221 posts, read 265,055 times
Reputation: 275
It's just like that for some people. You just have to put in more effort than others. It doesn't mean that you're not attractive.

I think you should definitely be open to chatting a guy up first if you find him attractive. That doesn't mean you have to ask him for his number, but just let him see you and catch your vibe. Then if he's interested, he'll show it.

As for guys approaching you, I don't think you need to force yourself into liking someone you clearly aren't attracted to, but at least try to give it a shot if he seems like a decent guy. Looks are important to a degree, but good looks don't always mean chemistry. I've come across men who at first glance I wasn't into, but once I spent time with them, I was so smitten.

It also wouldn't hurt to try a dating site. Cast a wide net and see what happens.

PS. Don't let anyone make you feel wrong for wanting what you want.
 
Old Yesterday, 12:08 AM
 
786 posts, read 201,994 times
Reputation: 1049
Quote:
Originally Posted by PilgrimsProgress View Post
It's the typical fat person's delusion: When I lose the weight, I will______________ Fill in the blank with every fantasy.

They forget that they are the same person they were before, only thinner.
Thatís a bitter pill to swallow, but true. Losing 12 pant sizes didnít have much effect on my dating life because it didnít change who I was. I always thought my looks were holding me back. Ironically, it turns out that I was the shallow one all along, in terms of judging myself and the reason for my difficulties.
 
Old Yesterday, 03:51 AM
 
12,376 posts, read 13,655,842 times
Reputation: 14425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
You didnít listen to your mom when she said... stop that or youíre face will stay that way did you? 😂
She also said, ĎDONT get smart.í
 
Old Yesterday, 04:31 AM
 
2,035 posts, read 984,860 times
Reputation: 5548
Women who put off the 'entitled icy princess' vibe and wait for some guy to come along to break that ice are usually left to chill by themselves. Oh, sure, opportunistic guys will play along but the sincere, stable men aren't interesting in catering to a woman with a facial expression that suggests you're going to have to beg hard to take her on a date you're expected to pay for.
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