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Old Yesterday, 12:26 PM
 
15 posts, read 4,443 times
Reputation: 25

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"You'd be amazed at how "attractive" some people become when you get to know their personality, humor, forgiveness, honestly, compassion, humility....." (as quoted above)

very true.....deciding the basis of dating someone solely on their looks is the most shallow criteria.

 
Old Yesterday, 01:53 PM
 
Location: California
2,023 posts, read 2,025,157 times
Reputation: 1795
You have to ask yourself what is better? To be asked out by a guy and maybe a great guy that you are not attracted to, or not be asked out at all.

There is an old saying, "Never judge a book by it's cover."
 
Old Yesterday, 03:11 PM
 
9,620 posts, read 13,535,350 times
Reputation: 5805
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsg1194 View Post
So Iím 25 and never really dated. I was chubby growing up and never asked out like other girls. Iíve lost a lot of weight in the past 2 years and still donít get approached by guys.

When i was asked out later in HS, they were not by guys Iíd want to date and ended up saying no. That is how itís been: almost every guy that has asked me out Iíve rejected. I donít feel the vibe and/or find them attractive.

What upsets me is I donít think Iím ugly and people have told me Iím attractive, so why do I only get asked out by unattractive guys? I think itís unfair to me because I do put in effort into my appearance. Iíve ďdatedĒ here and there for a few months but never by the guy Iíd like to date because the guys I find cute donít approach me. And no , I refuse to approach a guy first. My mother says itís because I havenít found the right guy and thatís true but I dunno...
Why?


I approached first. We're married now.
 
Old Yesterday, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,201 posts, read 17,527,296 times
Reputation: 42023
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just One of the Guys View Post
You have to ask yourself what is better? To be asked out by a guy and maybe a great guy that you are not attracted to, or not be asked out at all.

There is an old saying, "Never judge a book by it's cover."
A woman that I know well told me the story about a friend of a friend who asked her for a date and she rudely turned him down because "he looked really dorky, as he was wearing cowboy boots and a plaid shirt" (in the Midwest).

Later, she found out that he was wearing cowboy boots as he was on the way to a costume party (or something similar). And, weeks later, as she got to know him better (through her friend) she discovered that he was a really nice guy who she would have enjoyed dating. But, she had been rude to him, obviously, he never asked her out again and wasn't interested in hanging around with her. She is still single and really regrets how she judged him without getting to know him first.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:01 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 2,936,096 times
Reputation: 16038
Op- waiting for Mr right is the difference in meeting Mr right now.

I tend to agree a certain vibe is given off in those first few minutes that can make or break further interaction. Some say to change it up...I say not.

As someone who for years remains mystified by what is that IT factor that leads folks to date. Hasnt been a single guy to prove me wrong in that ..I'm told I'm far too independent to be their mate. I dearly LOVE my freedom. I cannot play that damsel...yet here I sit along with you dear OP, trying to figure out how to not sell myself short when getting to know a potential suitor...
 
Old Yesterday, 05:47 PM
 
10,606 posts, read 4,254,498 times
Reputation: 26789
Since none of us know you or know what you look like, there's not much to go on here that will help you.

If I had to take a wild stab at it, I'd say you're over judging your "league".

You're getting asked out with some regularity, but by guys who you think are below your league, so it's not like you're a cactus who can't manage to attract a guy. You can.

You just seem to be aiming for someone more attractive than you, which does happen, if you have a really sparkling personality.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:58 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,680 posts, read 33,572,993 times
Reputation: 32469
I’m gonna suffer from the others....like always. I don’t think it is shallow to reject people you have no physical attraction to and I see no point in wasting time on dates with people you have no physical attraction to in hopes that their “personality” will grow on you. I personally think the idea of personality overcoming a lack of physical attraction is BS.
 
Old Yesterday, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Iowa
203 posts, read 46,027 times
Reputation: 301
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Iím gonna suffer from the others....like always. I donít think it is shallow to reject people you have no physical attraction to and I see no point in wasting time on dates with people you have no physical attraction to in hopes that their ďpersonalityĒ will grow on you. I personally think the idea of personality overcoming a lack of physical attraction is BS.
I don't disagree, BUT I think physical attraction should be fairly common (or at least roughly proportionate with your own attractiveness). Also, you can influence this consciously.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:46 PM
 
19 posts, read 2,495 times
Reputation: 10
Default Is my social situation normal?

Iím almost 25 and completely alone in life. I have no friends and never been in a relationship. I have maybe 2 family members that I talk to but donít consider it to be a good relationship. I have always been alone throughout my life and never had a social life like other people, forming relationships has always been hard for me. I donít trust easily and only speak when spoken to, not to mention most people arenít good anyway.

When it comes to dating, I donít get hit or approached by guys. Women I know get asked out all the time and I can only count a few amount of times. can't tell if it was a friendly or romantic approach but Iím invisible to guys.

Why has it been so difficult with people? Is this the normal type of lifestyle or am I unlucky?
 
Old Yesterday, 08:50 PM
 
453 posts, read 82,071 times
Reputation: 817
Dsg1194, some of the things you've been posting on this forum make me think you need to see a therapist to explore this issue. What has happened to make you think that most people aren't good?
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