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Old Today, 09:44 AM
 
639 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 467

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Quote:
Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
If the phone number thing is the only one that makes you think she was interested...well, join the club. She’s also one who stood me up...she actually said yes, the first time I’d ever gotten a Yes, but then bailed out 30 minutes before the date and was “too busy” to reschedule. She was interested in being friends though, so, maybe that’s why she gave me her number in the first place.

Uh, if they want me to pursue past a “No” then good riddance. I’m not good enough at dating to understand the flow and drift of it under the best, most straightforward circumstances. I DEFINITELY don’t have time for game-playing that could lead to trouble for me if I guess wrong and keep pestering a woman who DEFINITELY wants me to leave her alone.

All I know is that I’ve never experienced anything like what you described in your first post other than an extremely confusing experience in high school. A girl was very physically flirtatious with me one evening at an event, but ended up not being interested in dating when I asked her (she was the first girl I ever asked out, actually).
Wanting to be pursued isnt necessarily game playing. She might just want to be sure you are serious about it before accepting a date.

If these women you speak of are highly desirable and attractive women, they probably get asked out all the time. They might initially reject most of those men, but the men who keep pursuing and ask a second or third time are more likely to get a yes.

Its not stalking or harassment to pursue a woman. If she tells you to leave her alone and you continue, that is harassment.

If these are just average women, they might still want some getting to know you time before taking things to a more intimate dating scenario.

I dont know how you know these women or how well you do, but many women have some "stranger danger," being the smaller and weaker ones it can feel very vulnerable to put ourselves into an isolated setting with someone we dont know well. You have said you are very tall, that can add to that.

Ive a feeling they might just need more time to feel safe and comfortable with you before progressing to a date.
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Old Today, 09:51 AM
 
170 posts, read 33,554 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
They might initially reject most of those men, but the men who keep pursuing and ask a second or third time are more likely to get a yes.
.
That ^^ IS sexual harrassment. Asking once, no problem... Asking repeatedly is absolutely the wrong thing to do.
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Old Today, 09:56 AM
 
639 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 467
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
That ^^ IS sexual harrassment. Asking once, no problem... Asking repeatedly is absolutely the wrong thing to do.
Well, I disagree. I think its ok to ask 2 or 3 times or at least keep talking to get to know each other better.

Im actually being stalked now but that has been years of almost constant pursuing. Id not consider it harassment if a guy respectfully made attempts to get to know me. I very rarely accept the first proposal of a date.
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Old Today, 10:26 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,886 posts, read 1,837,786 times
Reputation: 3913
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
That ^^ IS sexual harrassment. Asking once, no problem... Asking repeatedly is absolutely the wrong thing to do.
I agree, I’ve never asked more than once. If someone had a change of heart (almost never), they can ask me. Of course I’m sure you’ll see a few come out of woodwork here proclaiming “oh I asked my wife five times before she finally said yes”. However, no means no and you’re better off walking away. Continuing to ask makes you just comes off as desperate which is never attractive.
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Old Today, 10:27 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,737 posts, read 4,955,755 times
Reputation: 12738
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Well, I disagree. I think its ok to ask 2 or 3 times or at least keep talking to get to know each other better.

Im actually being stalked now but that has been years of almost constant pursuing. Id not consider it harassment if a guy respectfully made attempts to get to know me. I very rarely accept the first proposal of a date.
That may work for some women, but for many more it's annoying and would make them uncomfortable. I think stuff like this can send guys mixed messages, but it' about reading social cues. I suppose. Even though ONE interaction is enough to trigger a stalker, it's still best NOT to encourage any further behavior after the one time with anyone you're not interested in. It's always good to be cautious.
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Old Today, 10:36 AM
 
639 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 467
What if she says no because she has another social engagement planned, or some other legitimate reason?
"No" doesnt always mean "Never." If she says it means "never," then believe her and back off.

My father asked my mom out 3 times before she said yes. My mom said she was very attracted to hom but she was just actually busy. My father almost gave up but then they got married and had 2 kids.
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Old Today, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,708 posts, read 33,602,337 times
Reputation: 32523
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post

Im actually being stalked now but that has been years of almost constant pursuing. Id not consider it harassment if a guy respectfully made attempts to get to know me. I very rarely accept the first proposal of a date.
Even if you are interested, you donít accept the first proposal of a date?
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Old Today, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
651 posts, read 116,586 times
Reputation: 1079
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Even if you are interested, you donít accept the first proposal of a date?
If I'm interested in someone I will say yes to a date. I think most people are straightforward like that.
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Old Today, 10:41 AM
 
639 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 467
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Even if you are interested, you donít accept the first proposal of a date?
I just like to go at my pace. I can have social anxiety at times so I need to psyche myself before lots of social interaction. I think thats a legitimate reason.
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Old Today, 10:41 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,886 posts, read 1,837,786 times
Reputation: 3913
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
What if she says no because she has another social engagement planned, or some other legitimate reason?
"No" doesnt always mean "Never." If she says it means "never," then believe her and back off.

My father asked my mom out 3 times before she said yes. My mom said she was very attracted to hom but she was just actually busy. My father almost gave up but then they got married and had 2 kids.
That’s fine. I’d just say give me a call or text me when you are free. After I initially asked the ball would be in her court. If a certain amount of time passed then I’d just figure she wasn’t very interested.
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