U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old Today, 11:29 AM
 
646 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 475

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Do the rest of us a favor. Don't say no when you mean maybe eyes later.
How about if I say Im not ready to dste you but lets keep chatting?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Today, 11:32 AM
 
646 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Oh...

I remember now.

How are you doing right now since then?
Thanks for asking. Its in my blog.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:32 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
How about if I say Im not ready to dste you but lets keep chatting?
That strikes me as honest and to the point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:37 AM
 
646 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I would never expect anyone to drop everything to date me. However, if I got a no with no other explanation I would just move on. Also, Iíve dated a lot in my almost 53 years and Iíve found if a woman is really interested there is little or no hesitation. I have had one or two say they were busy with something at work and that they would get back to me with an alternate date, which they did.
How many people just say "no" with no explanation?

Assuming you must kind of know these women enough to ask them out, it just seems weird someone would just say "No."

As for dropping everything, I mean people have lives. Life is more and more busy. For me clearing my schedule to go on a date would be quite a time commitment. I wouldnt do it for every tom dick abd harry that hollers. I like to see a bit of investment on his part. I dont consider it game playing. Its weeding.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:41 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
How many people just say "no" with no explanation?
Plenty. Myself included. And with good reason.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:44 AM
 
172 posts, read 33,554 times
Reputation: 344
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
This is a measure of sexual harassment in the work place, IMO, employers have to be more black-and-white, the rules stated and posted determine whether or not the attention is wanted or warranted (or not).

IRL, it’s a little different, someone can ask you 2 or 7 times and you can block them, and never see them again— don’t have to deal with them like you do every day in the workplace. Someone can ask you out for the third time and you can tell him to F off. In the workplace, you will be seen as part of the problem if you start acting aggressively with hostility in return, you can only report it. IRL, there’s nowhere to report it, she can’t really go to the police station and say: “this man has asked me out two times in a row, arrest him!” It takes way more evidence prove documentation repetitive action to be warranted as (criminal) harassment in real life

As much as some of the men here like to fantasize that that’s the way it is, it’s not actually illegal in that sense, harassment takes a much smaller measure to be labeled so in the workplace, as it would be to be charged with some sort of crime of harassment in real life. Employment at will, follow the rules inside of this inclusive atmosphere, where you are being paid to be productive by someone profiting off of your cooperative behavior. Do you know what I mean?

I have gone out with somebody that I initially declined, only because I started to see him in a different light and thought I may have made a snap judgement, not because I enjoy harassment or pictured it as such.
We'll have to agree to disagree with this because, to me, you very clearly wrong. In the work place or on the street, if a man asks out a woman (or vice versa) and the answer is *NO* it is harrassment to continue pursing. Not being in a work setting has absolutely nothing to do with it. The legal standard for harrassment doesn't end when you leave the office. And, a person may not have immediate access to law enforcement after being harrassed or cat called on the street or anywhere outside of work but it is STILL harrassment. Legally
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:46 AM
 
646 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Plenty. Myself included. And with good reason.
It seems a bit insensitive to me.

Why not say something like ",Sorry, we are not compatible."

"This isnt what Im looking for."

If youre talking about a stranger on the street then I get it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:50 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
We'll have to agree to disagree with this because, to me, you very clearly wrong. In the work place or on the street, if a man asks out a woman (or vice versa) and the answer is *NO* it is harrassment to continue pursing.
I think the differentiation is between legally enforceable and not. But I agree with you.

Quote:
Not being in a work setting has absolutely nothing to do with it. The legal standard for harrassment doesn't end when you leave the office. And, a person may not have immediate access to law enforcement after being harrassed or cat called on the street or anywhere out of work but it is STILL harrassment. Legally
Well no, now I don't agree with you. There is no legal foundation for not being harassed in this way. It is sucky. It is harassment. But it has no legal remedy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:54 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
It seems a bit insensitive to me.
I am good with that. I am very sensitive. But not so sensitive I am going to give myself a hard time on someone else' behalf.

Quote:
Why not say something like ",Sorry, we are not compatible."

"This isnt what Im looking for."

Because of the expected response. You can often tell that a guy is likely to do one or more of several things upon being given a no. When they want reasons, you will get argument. About how your reasons are invalid. Not compatible will be met with argument and salesman-like counter and closing about how wrong I am about our compatibility. Also possible is a bunch of attacks ranging from mildly aggressive to very aggressive.
If I get a sense that this might be the kind of response I will get I reply with I will take a pass. And move on. I don't owe them anything more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,711 posts, read 33,602,337 times
Reputation: 32526
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Plenty. Myself included. And with good reason.
Would this be to people you have interest in?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top