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Old 08-14-2019, 03:18 PM
 
996 posts, read 396,939 times
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Interesting points. This is why I think context and very subtle nonverbal cues are so important in deciphering another persons intentions, interest level, whatever.

The silly face and mew, yeah thats pretty ambiguous. Im imagining if a guy did that after I said what Sonic said. Id probably take it as a polite rejection? Or Id think the ball is in his court now, he can make the next move.

Im a woman though, and so is Sonic. But if she did that to a man, would the response be different? I mean if hes a very assertive and persistent man I think he would see it as a green light. At least she didnt slap him or say absolutely not! and storm out disgusted.

Not to generalize but the expected norm is for women to be passive and receptive, and men to be aggressive and dominating. Like yin and yang. A lot of it might be based on hormones too. Testosterone results is more energetic, active, assertive type behaviors?

I think most guys who get laid a lot or have more relationships are probably willing to be pretty dominant and assertive? They dont take rejection too hard. On to the next, etc. Not including assaulters or people with perverse tastes in this (such as a guy who gets off on raping or stalking women), but regular guys who mean no harm.
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Old 08-14-2019, 06:30 PM
 
8,480 posts, read 6,207,243 times
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Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
Less then twenty is still a hell of a lot more then the struggling guys were talking about who canít get one date.

Those dudes would cut off a finger to have that many options lol
LOL!!! Not me. I need all my fingers.

From what I hear even guys that do what I do (mind their own business and focus on themselves) are struggling from what I hear on this forum.
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Old 08-14-2019, 06:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I hate how tone does not come across in text...the bold part of what you quoted, that I said, imagine me laughing while saying it. And the bit right after. I don't take any of this too seriously.

About the only "serious"...ish?...thing...that I was wanting to convey, is if a man says, "I really find it challenging to begin a sexual/romantic interaction with a woman. Sometimes it's all rather confusing and seems to take a lot of effort...and then is still confusing anyways." I would say, "Yeah, I've had some confusing times in that area too guy, I get ya." Hell maybe women just generally aren't socialized to ask for what we want, even when we know what that is, and we know that we want it? Or for all I know the women who treated me flakily or gave me mixed signals really weren't into me like that. Could be. I dunno.

Definitely not a judgment of things being superior or better or any of that kind of deal. I prefer to be "easy" (which does not mean unscrupulous or not discerning, mind you!) myself...I like to un-complicate matters where I can. I find it nice when I engage with others who are the same way. Though admittedly my straightforward approach to things has caught some men off guard and even been off-putting to some of them. That's ok, too.
There is the tone not coming through, but also there are people that go online with agendas and they seem to be willing to take something out of context or twist a word in order to throw mud and further their agenda. These people don't even care about tone (Definitely not saying somebodynew or anyone on this forum is doing this).

Some people are just out to paint a certain picture of certain people in order to fit with their agenda. So many times I see articles, "He, she said this and that," but then I go to the original incident or conversation and take a look at the context of the story. One sentence in the overall message gets taken out of context, and twisted in order to paint this person into something different than what that person really is.


But anyway, I rambled enough. Yeah, dating is a funny thing and we tend to make it more complicated than it needs to be.

In fact, I'm a guy and I (think I might) want a relationship... I don't have one cuz I complicate things, or I freak out and freeze at the possibility. Even as a man who has women throwing themselves at him...increasingly as the days go on (used to be once a month, now it is once a week. ), I'm not going in and out of relationships (pre-occupied, I guess).
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:47 PM
 
875 posts, read 229,449 times
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Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
In fact, I'm a guy and I (think I might) want a relationship... I don't have one cuz I complicate things, or I freak out and freeze at the possibility. Even as a man who has women throwing themselves at him...increasingly as the days go on (used to be once a month, now it is once a week. ), I'm not going in and out of relationships (pre-occupied, I guess).
How do they do that? What does that look like?
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:31 AM
 
8,480 posts, read 6,207,243 times
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Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
How do they do that? What does that look like?
Well, they grab themselves by their feet and lift up and then using some violation of physics, swing themselves around, somehow they aim, and then they release. They typically hit me in the chest or head...



Okay, on a serious note....


On plenty of occasions, I have women walk up to me and stop me for a conversation. I'd be resting at a park, nodding off, and then wake up to a woman standing over me, then a conversation starts there. If I go to a bar, a woman just sits on my lap out of the blue.

More recent examples in the past couple of weeks, a woman walked up to me asking if I wanted to party (didn't trust that...that's trouble in the area I live). And another woman, sat next to me and started saying strange, sexual and some sadistic stuff while looking at me. (I left out the more raunchy stuff because...PG-13)

I'm typically running my errands so I keep it casual.

Trust me, from what I hear, that is more than what a lot of men (online) get.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:53 AM
 
Location: UK
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Jeez TJenkins602 that's weird. The woman making strange sexual remarks to a stranger sounds like sexual harassment.
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Old 08-15-2019, 10:41 AM
 
875 posts, read 229,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Well, they grab themselves by their feet and lift up and then using some violation of physics, swing themselves around, somehow they aim, and then they release. They typically hit me in the chest or head...



Okay, on a serious note....


On plenty of occasions, I have women walk up to me and stop me for a conversation. I'd be resting at a park, nodding off, and then wake up to a woman standing over me, then a conversation starts there. If I go to a bar, a woman just sits on my lap out of the blue.

More recent examples in the past couple of weeks, a woman walked up to me asking if I wanted to party (didn't trust that...that's trouble in the area I live). And another woman, sat next to me and started saying strange, sexual and some sadistic stuff while looking at me. (I left out the more raunchy stuff because...PG-13)

I'm typically running my errands so I keep it casual.

Trust me, from what I hear, that is more than what a lot of men (online) get.
Yeah, it's more than I've gotten. Women don't start conversations with me, but they're usually at least friendly if I start talking to them. And that's about it. Other than my confusing high school encounter, no physical contact (that's two mentions in the last two days on these boards of women coming over and sitting in a guy's lap), certainly no sexual talk (though occasionally this happened to me in the friendzone, she was either sharing with me or confiding in me because she was comfortable with me and trusted me). No invitations to anywhere, party or otherwise. I have seen stuff like this happen to other guys I'm around, though.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:28 PM
 
8,480 posts, read 6,207,243 times
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Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Jeez TJenkins602 that's weird. The woman making strange sexual remarks to a stranger sounds like sexual harassment.
Yeah... but it's just weirdness to me. Being a man who is close to 6' (but the last woman wasn't particularly short), I don't feel threatened when a woman does it. So I can kinda brush it off. I get a little more nervous when I see a guy doing that to a woman.

Of course there are other things I consider (does she have an STD or...)

I've also had guys try to approach me in a similar way, but I shut that down early.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:32 PM
 
8,480 posts, read 6,207,243 times
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Originally Posted by At Arms Length View Post
Yeah, it's more than I've gotten. Women don't start conversations with me, but they're usually at least friendly if I start talking to them. And that's about it. Other than my confusing high school encounter, no physical contact (that's two mentions in the last two days on these boards of women coming over and sitting in a guy's lap), certainly no sexual talk (though occasionally this happened to me in the friendzone, she was either sharing with me or confiding in me because she was comfortable with me and trusted me). No invitations to anywhere, party or otherwise. I have seen stuff like this happen to other guys I'm around, though.
See that's what I expected to get years ago. Just friendliness when I start a conversation, but people go out of their way for me to the point where I don't see the need to "approach" anyone.

I've never approached a woman and I've had a few dates and a couple of relationship. When I "became a man", it was with a pushy woman, etc.
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Old 08-15-2019, 01:40 PM
 
996 posts, read 396,939 times
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Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
See that's what I expected to get years ago. Just friendliness when I start a conversation, but people go out of their way for me to the point where I don't see the need to "approach" anyone.

I've never approached a woman and I've had a few dates and a couple of relationship. When I "became a man", it was with a pushy woman, etc.
You must be pretty handsome? Maybe athletic?

I have never approached a man, even while getting intoxicated in some public place. I would be mortified if I got shot down, no matter how polite it was.

So I do feel for guys who have to endure this.
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