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Old 08-12-2019, 12:26 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,129,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I dont either. I like to take it slow with one interesting guy.
Do the rest of us a favor. Don't say no when you mean maybe eyes later.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:27 PM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,432,452 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I dont either. I like to take it slow with one interesting guy. If hes demanding I drop everything to date him immediately, hes not the right guy for me.

It sounds like some of the guys itt want immediate 100% interest from the girl. Some ladies just like to go a bit slower.
I would never expect anyone to drop everything to date me. However, if I got a no with no other explanation I would just move on. Also, I’ve dated a lot in my almost 53 years and I’ve found if a woman is really interested there is little or no hesitation. I have had one or two say they were busy with something at work and that they would get back to me with an alternate date, which they did.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:28 PM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,261,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
See the thing with that is, there is the "no means no" message going around. If a woman wants to go out with me and then says no to me as some form of "test", then she is going to lose me to a woman who is not into that kind of game (that's what that really is, a game).

As to whether or not it is harassment or not to pursue a woman, that depends on the person. But if the woman said no and the person persists, it will be seen as harassment if other parties get involved. One of the common complaints against us men is that we don't take no for an answer. And whenever a woman says no, and eventually reveals that she meant yes, but was just testing...no, I will call it what it is, playing games with the person, some guys may see that, and then they may get ideas and try it on a woman who really means no when she says it.

Now, if a woman says something along the lines of "Not now", or "the time is not right", okay. I'll give the benefit of the doubt...but I'm not going to wait up. There are other women out there that are ready for me, it would do none of us any good for me to wait for the "not right now" to become "now". Like I'm supposed to just wait around while she has her fun. LOL!!! At the same time, I got a lovely Ms. waiting on me to make her my Mrs.

Not to mention, the woman I wait for might take it as a sign of low self esteem/respect.

In my opinion, playing that "she said no, but she probably doesn't mean it" game is actually a dangerous game to play and can bring about some unfortunate circumstances for both sides. And typically, this type of game (I'll say no when I mean yes), just might attract some imbalanced people with boundary issues.

In my mind, there are too many women out there for me to get caught up with someone that says no (and I mean saying the word outright no. Not a somewhat wishy-washy response that kinda favors a no, but even with that, I'm not going to wait up).

As far as stranger danger, this is exactly why I take no for an answer. You say no to me, I'm moving it along as far as romance goes. If you happen to change your mind and you catch me at the right time (in between relationships), then I'll consider it.
I think context is important. "Never" means "never" but no can vary, again depends on context.

If this is a friend of a friend for instance you see at parties. You flirt and chat but she declines going out to dinner with you one on one. But she clearly enjoys your company, keep gettng to know her. Thats not stalking or harassment.

If you see a girl at a busstop, whistle at her, she says get lost. You get on the bus and follow her home. That is harassment.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:29 PM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,261,042 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Do the rest of us a favor. Don't say no when you mean maybe eyes later.
How about if I say Im not ready to dste you but lets keep chatting?
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Oh...

I remember now.

How are you doing right now since then?
Thanks for asking. Its in my blog.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:32 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,129,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
How about if I say Im not ready to dste you but lets keep chatting?
That strikes me as honest and to the point.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:37 PM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,261,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I would never expect anyone to drop everything to date me. However, if I got a no with no other explanation I would just move on. Also, I’ve dated a lot in my almost 53 years and I’ve found if a woman is really interested there is little or no hesitation. I have had one or two say they were busy with something at work and that they would get back to me with an alternate date, which they did.
How many people just say "no" with no explanation?

Assuming you must kind of know these women enough to ask them out, it just seems weird someone would just say "No."

As for dropping everything, I mean people have lives. Life is more and more busy. For me clearing my schedule to go on a date would be quite a time commitment. I wouldnt do it for every tom dick abd harry that hollers. I like to see a bit of investment on his part. I dont consider it game playing. Its weeding.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:41 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,129,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
How many people just say "no" with no explanation?
Plenty. Myself included. And with good reason.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:44 PM
 
236 posts, read 126,555 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
This is a measure of sexual harassment in the work place, IMO, employers have to be more black-and-white, the rules stated and posted determine whether or not the attention is wanted or warranted (or not).

IRL, it’s a little different, someone can ask you 2 or 7 times and you can block them, and never see them again— don’t have to deal with them like you do every day in the workplace. Someone can ask you out for the third time and you can tell him to F off. In the workplace, you will be seen as part of the problem if you start acting aggressively with hostility in return, you can only report it. IRL, there’s nowhere to report it, she can’t really go to the police station and say: “this man has asked me out two times in a row, arrest him!” It takes way more evidence prove documentation repetitive action to be warranted as (criminal) harassment in real life

As much as some of the men here like to fantasize that that’s the way it is, it’s not actually illegal in that sense, harassment takes a much smaller measure to be labeled so in the workplace, as it would be to be charged with some sort of crime of harassment in real life. Employment at will, follow the rules inside of this inclusive atmosphere, where you are being paid to be productive by someone profiting off of your cooperative behavior. Do you know what I mean?

I have gone out with somebody that I initially declined, only because I started to see him in a different light and thought I may have made a snap judgement, not because I enjoy harassment or pictured it as such.
We'll have to agree to disagree with this because, to me, you very clearly wrong. In the work place or on the street, if a man asks out a woman (or vice versa) and the answer is *NO* it is harrassment to continue pursing. Not being in a work setting has absolutely nothing to do with it. The legal standard for harrassment doesn't end when you leave the office. And, a person may not have immediate access to law enforcement after being harrassed or cat called on the street or anywhere outside of work but it is STILL harrassment. Legally
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:46 PM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,261,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Plenty. Myself included. And with good reason.
It seems a bit insensitive to me.

Why not say something like ",Sorry, we are not compatible."

"This isnt what Im looking for."

If youre talking about a stranger on the street then I get it.
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