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Old 08-08-2019, 07:38 AM
 
2,145 posts, read 587,518 times
Reputation: 1408

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildOnions View Post
Sex is a poor substitute for masturbation. The sooner people realise that, the better.
Yep, the FWB is pretty much masturbation, but without the hand/vibrator. Although, I know a female friend that would do this with a MARRIED man. A co-worker, that way they'd have no attachments. She told me that human contact can fulfill her needs than any vibrator would.
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Old 08-08-2019, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,570 posts, read 8,848,402 times
Reputation: 12282
I think it's unfair to lump women who have many sex partners in various boxes, almost all of which have negative connotations. I am sure there are other good, healthy reasons in many cases.
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Old 08-08-2019, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,788 posts, read 8,598,584 times
Reputation: 29576
Monogamy is not for everyone and it is overrated, IMO. I think people get into monogamous relationships even marriages that they won't want due to societal pressures. Everyone judges them if they aren't exclusive so that's what they do. I believe more people cheat than is generally believed. No one talks about it because the stigma against cheating is so terrible. It's so enormous that cheating is considered a worse sin than abuse in many people's eyes. I don't think women are necessarily more emotionally attached to casual sexual partners. I believe it's another example of denial. The guy gets attached also but won't admit it. He wants to be viewed as strong and manly so he doesn't allow himself to accept liking or even loving the girl he is hooking up with. If you don't agree, just remember that in cases of divorce, even though the wife initiates divorce proceedings most often, the husband is the partner most emotionally devastated by them.

Last edited by Scooby Snacks; 08-08-2019 at 07:59 AM..
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Old 08-08-2019, 07:50 AM
 
3,265 posts, read 1,715,170 times
Reputation: 9084
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
I wonder why you keep turning this back on thinking women can’t really be happy with this?

That’s the culmination when the attitude is presented in different paraphrasing of the same response. It’s not necessary to point out that men are fine with casual sex, it seems to be a given. Indicating some significant amount of women are fine with that seems to require more convincing.

This is only my objective observation, not critical of that at all, just wondering if you (and others with the same leaning) may be projecting a little.
If we’re going back to When Harry Met Sally, we may as well go back to the warning in Looking for Mr.Goodbar.

I’m actually pleased that a noticeable amount of responses here are from women “telling it like is” for -them- knowing full well how this usually brings out the ol’ cow and milk so pig and sausage trope. Tripe. People should be able to accept that not everyone else is settling just because they don’t want the same things out of a relationship or non-relationship. Agree?

I think you are misunderstanding my point. I KNOW that women are capable of happily having casual sex. I never said otherwise -- and in fact I initiated such an arrangement myself with an ex at one point. I was responding to the specific feelings the OP was having in her situation.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:05 AM
 
7,737 posts, read 3,032,095 times
Reputation: 12725
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
I think you are misunderstanding my point. I KNOW that women are capable of happily having casual sex. I never said otherwise -- and in fact I initiated such an arrangement myself with an ex at one point. I was responding to the specific feelings the OP was having in her situation.
Could be, I had that opinion and maybe getting confirmation bias from repeatedly used statements: “women let them” “women hope for more”. If I simply state that men do too, someone will inevitably go off on a “why must I say BOTH” tangent when it isn’t necessary to include men being ok with casual sex because it’s a given.

You were just the last in the thread to use those type of gendered phrases that prompted me to pipe up. The attitude if not from you, but from “some” then, that women just have to be settling. “Those poor women, always the bridesmaid never the bride, they must be pretending to like no strings sex.” It’s evident in a lot of posts. I don’t have to defend my (current?) preferences, and I don’t have to criticize monogamy, just observing, but I know what works for me.

I can almost compare that type of sentiment to: Those poor women, now having the responsibility of voting. Those poor women, having to get out of bed and go to work now. Those poor women, they’ll find out how complicated it is to buy a house.

Poor women...they can enjoy sex without having to watch nascar and make/eat meat and potatoes for dinner.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:06 AM
 
3,265 posts, read 1,715,170 times
Reputation: 9084
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Of course there must be respect involved, and honesty. The casual relationship I had lasted for two years. We would text in between meetings. Nothing deep or heavy, just light banter. We got together every other weekend or so. We made plans in advance. Had conversations. Slept over. Showed interest in each others lives and respected each others feelings and space.

If I ever felt like he was treating me as an unpaid ***** Id have been out. We treated each other as good friends and we had sex. That was all our relationship was destined to be and it met both of our needs at the time.

Yep, and that sounds very reasonable and respectful. If I were single I could see myself in an arrangement like this, although the frequency you describe is more "boyfriendy" than I would want in a casual relationship.


This is a guy who sounds like a good guy and not a player.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:11 AM
 
3,265 posts, read 1,715,170 times
Reputation: 9084
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Could be, I had that opinion and maybe getting confirmation bias from repeatedly used statements: “women let them” “women hope for more”. If I simply state that men do too, someone will inevitably go off on a “why must I say BOTH” tangent when it isn’t necessary to include men being ok with casual sex because it’s a given.

You were just the last in the thread to use those type of gendered phrases that prompted me to pipe up. The attitude if not from you, but from “some” then, that women just have to be settling. “Those poor women, always the bridesmaid never the bride, they must be pretending to like no strings sex.” It’s evident in a lot of posts. I don’t have to defend my preferences , and I don’t have to criticize monogamy, just observing, but I know what works for me.

I can almost compare that type of sentiment to: Those poor women, now having the responsibility of voting. Those poor women, having to get out of bed and go to work now. Those poor women, they’ll find out how complicated it is to buy a house.

Poor women...they can enjoy sex without having to watch nascar and make/eat meat and potatoes for dinner.

I did not say those terms or any "gendered terms." Stop ascribing this to me, please. Thanks.
On another note, I am not sure why you feel like you have to defend anything to anyone. No one has attacked you.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:12 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Yep, the FWB is pretty much masturbation, but without the hand/vibrator.
Holy projected repression, batman.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:13 AM
 
2,145 posts, read 587,518 times
Reputation: 1408
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
Monogamy is not for everyone and it is overrated, IMO.
I would not say it's overrated, IMO. Of course, I'm trying to figure out how is it being overrated? Who is overrating it?
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:14 AM
 
2,145 posts, read 587,518 times
Reputation: 1408
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Holy projected repression, batman.
"projected repression"? How so?
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