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Old 08-10-2019, 01:37 PM
 
7,737 posts, read 3,032,095 times
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Well there’s one opinion we can all agree on here, anyway.
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Old 08-10-2019, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
695 posts, read 116,586 times
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Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Well there’s one opinion we can all agree on here, anyway.
What's that?
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Old 08-10-2019, 01:40 PM
 
21,037 posts, read 16,859,002 times
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Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Imo you maybe didnt enjoy the sex due to fear and uncertainty. You didnt know if he was even going to call ever again, so that distracted you, you couldnt relax?

I agree women enjoy sex more when there is a bit of security there. Its a balance. Not some guy who might have a big johnson and can act like a jackhammer for 2 hours, then says see ya, leaving us in a puddle and we never hear from him again. Not a turn on, unless you are Samantha Jones.

Its all about the balance.
Yes, that was a lot of it. The last one, I knew he'd call again, he was actually a very nice person..he just didn't feel that "pow" for me. That's what I wanted, for him to fall in love with me. It wasn't a one night stand casual sex, it was a 3 year relationship in which I constantly wanted more and he did not.

I don't think it was all the guys either. I think a lot was my behavior was a turn off. I was desperate for them to like me, so I acted completely different than I really am. Whatever they wanted was fine with me, I never argued, I never gave them a hard time about anything, I gave them sex way too easily and quickly. I was determined that if I could show them how different I was from other women, he;d fall in love with me. That works the same way with men as with women...people don't want a syncophant, That guy ended up going back to an ex that he used to complain was a B, but with her he felt the "pow".
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Old 08-10-2019, 01:48 PM
 
652 posts, read 336,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Yes, that was a lot of it. The last one, I knew he'd call again, he was actually a very nice person..he just didn't feel that "pow" for me. That's what I wanted, for him to fall in love with me. It wasn't a one night stand casual sex, it was a 3 year relationship in which I constantly wanted more and he did not.

I don't think it was all the guys either. I think a lot was my behavior was a turn off. I was desperate for them to like me, so I acted completely different than I really am. Whatever they wanted was fine with me, I never argued, I never gave them a hard time about anything, I gave them sex way too easily and quickly. I was determined that if I could show them how different I was from other women, he;d fall in love with me. That works the same way with men as with women...people don't want a syncophant, That guy ended up going back to an ex that he used to complain was a B, but with her he felt the "pow".
Interesting. Ive heard similar kinds of stories. Kind of how girls like bad boys, guys like bad girls?

Idk how much is true. I think people are different even though Ive been doing a lot of generalizing in this thread.

Like some girls only date rich guys, while other girls only date unemployed stoners?

Some guys like high maintenance B's that make them miserable, but for some reason its the only girl that gives them that pow.

I think it might help for people to know what kind of person gives them that pow and if its toxic they might need to do some soul searching. Avoid too much pow. Like you, you found a middle ground.

People are just not always attracted to whats good for them, in people.
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Old 08-10-2019, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
695 posts, read 116,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post

People are just not always attracted to whats good for them, in people.
Another reason to wait and take time when dating I think.

Perhaps we can develop the "pow" or the "whoosh" over time, or at least something not too distant from it. Lol
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Old 08-10-2019, 02:07 PM
 
652 posts, read 336,661 times
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Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Another reason to wait and take time when dating I think.

Perhaps we can develop the "pow" or the "whoosh" over time, or at least something not too distant from it. Lol
Lol. Sounds like a good plan.
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Old 08-10-2019, 02:29 PM
 
21,037 posts, read 16,859,002 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Interesting. Ive heard similar kinds of stories. Kind of how girls like bad boys, guys like bad girls?

Idk how much is true. I think people are different even though Ive been doing a lot of generalizing in this thread.

Like some girls only date rich guys, while other girls only date unemployed stoners?

Some guys like high maintenance B's that make them miserable, but for some reason its the only girl that gives them that pow.

I think it might help for people to know what kind of person gives them that pow and if its toxic they might need to do some soul searching. Avoid too much pow. Like you, you found a middle ground.

People are just not always attracted to whats good for them, in people.
I think just about all people are turned off by people who give themselves up in a quest to be loved. That guy really wasn't a "bad guy". he had been married and had a son, he was a great father and was only divorced cause his wife left him. But the ex-gf had backbone, she didn't take crap. I don't think that really defines toxic. I had backbone too, but I hid it. To me it's more toxic to hide who you are and pretend to like things you don't and to say "That's alright" when something is most definitely not alright...the same way girls complain about "he's too nice" because it's NOT really nice. I think men are repelled by that, too.
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Old 08-10-2019, 02:47 PM
 
652 posts, read 336,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I think just about all people are turned off by people who give themselves up in a quest to be loved. That guy really wasn't a "bad guy". he had been married and had a son, he was a great father and was only divorced cause his wife left him. But the ex-gf had backbone, she didn't take crap. I don't think that really defines toxic. I had backbone too, but I hid it. To me it's more toxic to hide who you are and pretend to like things you don't and to say "That's alright" when something is most definitely not alright...the same way girls complain about "he's too nice" because it's NOT really nice. I think men are repelled by that, too.
I think youre right. My sister has always been popular with guys and she is that way, backbone, assertive etc. I think everyone finds that attractive.
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Old 08-10-2019, 02:52 PM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,058,613 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Yes, that was a lot of it. The last one, I knew he'd call again, he was actually a very nice person..he just didn't feel that "pow" for me. That's what I wanted, for him to fall in love with me. It wasn't a one night stand casual sex, it was a 3 year relationship in which I constantly wanted more and he did not.

I don't think it was all the guys either. I think a lot was my behavior was a turn off. I was desperate for them to like me, so I acted completely different than I really am. Whatever they wanted was fine with me, I never argued, I never gave them a hard time about anything, I gave them sex way too easily and quickly. I was determined that if I could show them how different I was from other women, he;d fall in love with me. That works the same way with men as with women...people don't want a syncophant, That guy ended up going back to an ex that he used to complain was a B, but with her he felt the "pow".
<shudder>
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Old 08-10-2019, 02:54 PM
 
7,737 posts, read 3,032,095 times
Reputation: 12725
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
<shudder>
Well if their are guys out there “getting sex” there’s got to be somebody out there giving them sex, right?
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