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Old 08-06-2019, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
693 posts, read 116,586 times
Reputation: 1099

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
There is actually a night club where I live that is filled with older women in their 30s-40s, and younger guys are there, going for them. It has been dubbed 'the cougar club' where I live, although that's just the nickname for it.

But is possible for women to turn a club, into a cougar club, if they wanted to?
Since when were women in their 30s considered cougars?
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Old 08-06-2019, 09:30 PM
 
652 posts, read 336,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
There is actually a night club where I live that is filled with older women in their 30s-40s, and younger guys are there, going for them. It has been dubbed 'the cougar club' where I live, although that's just the nickname for it.

But is possible for women to turn a club, into a cougar club, if they wanted to?
I suppose they could. Speaking of myself though Im just not so much interested in that vibe anymore. I have a comfortable home to relax in. No worries about a DUI. I can mix my own drinks. I did the big city life club bar thing. When I was 23 it was still new and exciting.
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Old 08-06-2019, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,146 posts, read 20,258,258 times
Reputation: 46408
It's definitely a trend now days.
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Old 08-07-2019, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Colorado
12,112 posts, read 7,437,635 times
Reputation: 21768
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Its possible. I mean I do think younger women are in high demand. But they are at their peak socially. They want to be seen. They are dressing up and going out. Older women are usually staying home. The club scene is for 23 year olds. So they are just more out there and visible. Id feel very out of place going out to a club or bar now and Im 41. Even if I wanted to I just wouldnt. Nor do I do OLD. So if I met a guy now it would have to be organically.
That depends. I think that for some women, they manage to stay single in their 20's or not to have kids at least, they go to college, they get their partying out of the way in their 20's so for those ladies, that's when they're going out.

Then there are women who marry young, and often marry foolishly due to youth and a lack of wisdom to make good choices, or get pregnant at a young age...this would be the category I fall into. It's pretty common, I think, in marriages that were never going to make it to any kind of a happily ever after, for them to end when a woman is in her 30's. She gets to a certain point and wises up, and/or the kids are older and less than 100% dependent and needy, and she remembers that she is a person and that her needs matter.

So there you get a number of women who are single in their 30's and older...they are divorced.

Now at 40, I'm having the time of my life and I've been doing so for the last few years since I left my Ex. I don't drink (never did) but I do like to dress it up sometimes...though it's not so much just about "being seen" as it is meeting new people. Lots of them. Constantly. And going to bars or whatever mostly to get together with friends and/or to support a local musician I'm friends with, or to some little gallery event featuring one of my artist friends. Stuff like that.

Though I also do know some ladies in their 40s (divorced women I work with, either no kids or grown kids) who never go out, who pretty much just go home and hang out with their dogs and drink wine. I've tried to invite them to things but they seem to be completely happy with the lifestyle they have as introverted homebodies. OK...

Anyways I have wondered if the fact that I never had those young adult college years of partying or anything like that, since I had my first kid at age 20 and was struggling to get by and had no time or money for fun in my 20s...I wonder if I'm kind of making up ground now? Or if people who had it rough at younger ages, are more likely to want to have a good time later on if they can?
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Old 08-07-2019, 09:36 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I guess. I see 20-somethings as kids, personally. They might look cute sometimes, but I can't take them very seriously.
lol. I had a go with a young man once. He Was Terrified. lol. And he also spoke. This was problematic.
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Old 08-07-2019, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Colorado
12,112 posts, read 7,437,635 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
lol. I had a go with a young man once. He Was Terrified. lol. And he also spoke. This was problematic.
The other issue I've got, is the "My kids are about your age" factor. I just can't get past that.

And the problematic speaking thing would shut it all down for me. I cannot even feel any attraction at all to someone, unless we have a conversation that excites me. That is literally what MAKES me attracted to a person. I'm not into anybody just based on what they look like, and if I haven't talked to them or don't feel a connection based on talking to each other...I don't even want to touch them. I feel just a sort of discomfort with the idea.

What kills me is when I meet a very young person, as I have a couple of times, and I talk to them and they're a very cool individual and I start to feel that "Wow, you're exciting!" thing and then I remember that they are like 19 years old... My sons are 17 and 20. And it's just weird.
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Old 08-07-2019, 10:59 AM
 
8,322 posts, read 6,094,099 times
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I tend to go for women that are my age or a bit older. I leave the younger women to the younger men for the most part. I don't see myself going below 25, even 30 is pushing it for me (I'm in my mid 30s).
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Old 08-07-2019, 01:09 PM
 
652 posts, read 336,661 times
Reputation: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
That depends. I think that for some women, they manage to stay single in their 20's or not to have kids at least, they go to college, they get their partying out of the way in their 20's so for those ladies, that's when they're going out.

Then there are women who marry young, and often marry foolishly due to youth and a lack of wisdom to make good choices, or get pregnant at a young age...this would be the category I fall into. It's pretty common, I think, in marriages that were never going to make it to any kind of a happily ever after, for them to end when a woman is in her 30's. She gets to a certain point and wises up, and/or the kids are older and less than 100% dependent and needy, and she remembers that she is a person and that her needs matter.

So there you get a number of women who are single in their 30's and older...they are divorced.

Now at 40, I'm having the time of my life and I've been doing so for the last few years since I left my Ex. I don't drink (never did) but I do like to dress it up sometimes...though it's not so much just about "being seen" as it is meeting new people. Lots of them. Constantly. And going to bars or whatever mostly to get together with friends and/or to support a local musician I'm friends with, or to some little gallery event featuring one of my artist friends. Stuff like that.

Though I also do know some ladies in their 40s (divorced women I work with, either no kids or grown kids) who never go out, who pretty much just go home and hang out with their dogs and drink wine. I've tried to invite them to things but they seem to be completely happy with the lifestyle they have as introverted homebodies. OK...

Anyways I have wondered if the fact that I never had those young adult college years of partying or anything like that, since I had my first kid at age 20 and was struggling to get by and had no time or money for fun in my 20s...I wonder if I'm kind of making up ground now? Or if people who had it rough at younger ages, are more likely to want to have a good time later on if they can?
Good points! I never got married. I had relationships but to be frank they were more stressful than anything. Managed to avoid disaster, as I see it (a marriage with any of my exes would have been disastrous) but I can see your perspective. You are making up for lost time now. I did get to enjoy single life too and now Im one of those 40s year old homebodies. I like it, its a relaxing peaceful life. No man to stress me out. Id be open to the right guy if he came along but Im ok alone as well. I am glad you are able to make up for lost time now. Enjoy!
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Old 08-07-2019, 01:39 PM
 
868 posts, read 210,936 times
Reputation: 638
some younger men are more mature than older men.
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Old 08-07-2019, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,112 posts, read 7,437,635 times
Reputation: 21768
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Good points! I never got married. I had relationships but to be frank they were more stressful than anything. Managed to avoid disaster, as I see it (a marriage with any of my exes would have been disastrous) but I can see your perspective. You are making up for lost time now. I did get to enjoy single life too and now Im one of those 40s year old homebodies. I like it, its a relaxing peaceful life. No man to stress me out. Id be open to the right guy if he came along but Im ok alone as well. I am glad you are able to make up for lost time now. Enjoy!
Thanks! I am! I feel like I've got the best of all worlds. My sons are low maintenance and on their way out, heading to college soon. I live with my fiance, but we have our own space. He doesn't stress me out...quite the opposite. He relieves my stress, brings me happiness.

At home though, he has his very comfortable bedroom in the basement where I visit him when our schedules align. My sons have their own rooms upstairs, though I did have to chase one of them out of my living room where he was trying to camp out playing video games for a while. But I've got that back now. My home is a haven of peace and quiet, exactly as I like it. I do have my homebody activities that I enjoy, my books and my jigsaw puzzles and art projects. But I also enjoy going out for "people time." It's all about balance, for me.

I went from a life where nothing was the way I wanted it to be, to a life where pretty much everything is the way I want it to be. It can be done with a partner, but, as you say...it's got to be a very good match. I think that the older we get, the more we come to understand that. If you love yourself and a life you can create for yourself, then you don't want to compromise that...another person's company isn't worth it unless they fit into your world well.
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